Nessie and Jake, Phases
by madaboutforks
Summary: Jacob has found his soul mate; but as the teenage Nessie enters a new phase of life, will she learn to recognise that true love is within her grasp? Join Nessie as she navigates her way through senior year and other greater challenges. Canon.
1. Bella, a new start

Disclaimer for the whole story: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just a tribute.

**I just thought it would be worth mentioning that this story has been completed and I will post the chapters very regularly. Thanks, Mad **

**p.s. I promise that this story has a plot and has been spell checked.**

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**Chapter 1. **

**Bella – a new start**

High school; there was only one member of the family who did not view it as purgatory. Of course, she hadn't actually started yet.

As Nessie's parents, Edward and I had encountered many dramatic surprises. My pregnancy, her birth, the threat of the Volturi and the seven years we had spent watching her change at an astonishing speed. Her accelerated growth had dominated our lives, she had been unable to attend school, or mix with anyone outside the family or the pack. She would have been far too conspicuous.

When she finally stopped growing, it made her less noticeable, but at the same time she was still a little girl. However mature she was – both mentally and physically – it still seemed wrong to send her into the outside world, in the body of an adult, when she was just a child in years. She remained with us and took a number of correspondence degree courses. It was hardly ideal, but there really didn't seem to be a better alternative.

We often stayed in Forks, keeping a low profile. After all, the rest of the Cullen's were notable for their _lack_ of aging. Edward and I still looked like teenagers and our school friends were edging towards their mid-thirties. Carlisle had moved east, as there was no way he could stay in Forks and pretend to be in his forties. The rest of the family had gone with him. Edward and I juggled most of our time between east and west.

It might have been easier to settle in one place, but there were too many other factors to consider. The Cullens could no longer _officially_ live in Forks – though they still made surreptitious visits – but my dad still did. Charlie and his wife Sue adored Nessie; we had to make regular extended trips for their sake.

And then to complicate the situation, there was Nessie's friendship with Jacob Black. He still had a commitment to his pack and his job. Although he did sometimes travel with us, he couldn't always be away from La Push. Neither Edward nor I had the heart to inflict the suffering of long term separation on either Jacob or Nessie. The short times that they spent apart were bad enough, though Jacob was surprisingly stoical.

But, as Nessie's real age started to match her appearance, new possibilities opened before us. It became reasonable for her to mix with humans as a teenager. She could have the opportunity to be 'normal', maybe even go to high school. Edward had some pretty brutal opinions about high school so I was surprised how enthusiastic he was for her to participate. We discussed it one evening.

"It is an important human experience. I wouldn't want her to miss out entirely." He said thoughtfully. "I sometimes feel bad about how much she has missed, considering that she is half human. She's so social and all these years she's been stopped from mixing with other children. She may be ahead in some ways, but she still has a lot of growing up to do."

I felt this was true. "You're right; it would be an important learning curve for her. She might even have to go to high school with us one day. I guess it would be a good idea if she did it for real first. I don't want her to miss out either... even gym." I added darkly.

What I chose not to add was that it might be nice for Nessie to experience high school _without_ her mind reading father. I knew that Edward would be hurt if I mentioned it, but sometimes I did feel for her. I couldn't imagine what it would have been like; to have Charlie read my mind when I was growing up!

"Bella, why are you pulling that face?" Edward looked bemused.

"I'm just remembering gym." I lied. He chuckled and – for the millionth time – I felt glad that Edward could only read my mind when I let him.

Once the decision to send her to school was taken, we had to make all the practical arrangements. She would need to stay in one place, so Forks ended up being the best choice. Edward and I planned to stay at the big house, but as we weren't technically supposed to be in Forks, it was decided that Nessie should stay with Charlie and Sue on weekdays.

The official story was that Edward and I were travelling all over the world for work, and he had sent his niece – our ward – to live with my father, to give her some continuity in her senior year. This way she was close enough for Edward and me to see her every day, but she would appear to be normal to the rest of the town. It was an added convenience that, because she was my ward, she could claim that Charlie was her adopted grandfather. No one wanted to make Charlie play a part, so this allowed him to carry on as 'Grandpa'.

Of course Charlie and Sue were wild about the idea. Nessie was Grandpa's little girl and Sue, despite her lingering hostility to vampires, absolutely loved Nessie. They were thrilled to have her for such a long stretch of time.

Jacob was pretty keen on the idea too. He wanted her around and I think he was glad to have her in a house where his pack member, Seth, also lived. He probably saw it as some sort of extra protection system. This was funny, since she was physically almost as tough as him. I did wonder if he wanted to keep an eye on her social life too, but I decided not to ask.

The Cullens – especially Rosalie – grumbled about having to travel to see Nessie, but they understood our motives. They all promised to visit often and we agreed to come out for some weekends and holidays.

As for Renesmee, she was thrilled. It was endearing really, how keen she was to spend time with a bunch of teenagers. She was so bright and talented, it was hard to imagine how she could find them interesting, but I could sympathise.

In real terms she was nearly sixteen years old, but she was physically about eighteen and had been for a long time. She had matured mentally at an even faster rate than she had grown, making her intellectually advanced and adult in her behaviour. In many ways she was very mature, but she had had a very sheltered upbringing.

I still felt that her lack of life experience did make her a bit juvenile underneath. There was the touch of the teenager about her. That funny mix of sophistication and innocence that was so typical of the age group.

She wasn't worried about the curriculum, unsurprisingly. I could tell that her whole focus was on making human friends. Unlike most of the Cullen family, Nessie had a strong connection with humans, but sadly she had not had the chance to befriend as many as she would have liked. She wasn't going to miss an opportunity like this.

It was a constant mystery to me, that two people as reserved as Edward and shy as me could have a daughter who was such a social animal. It was interesting that, as well as her unique communication by touch, many of her other gifts were also geared towards socialising. She could dance, sing and speak languages with complete ease.

I could not remember anyone meeting her and not liking her, except a few Volturi, who as far as I was concerned didn't count! Best of all she was very good at liking people back. She was so affectionate and friendly that she was almost impossible _not_ to love.

It was probably lucky that she had grown up in a house with beauties like Rosalie. If she had been raised amongst normal humans, I can't imagine how she would have escaped becoming impossibly vain. As it was, she didn't seem to regard her looks as anything out of the ordinary, though in truth they were quite the opposite.

Nessie really was a startling beauty. She was slightly taller than me, with a slender, graceful figure. Her long hair had darkened to a rich auburn and cascaded in loose curls halfway down her back. Her warm, brown eyes and dark red lips stood out in pleasing contrast to her luminous ivory skin. The finishing touch to her perfect features was the soft blush of her cheeks. Emmett liked to joke that my red cheeks had refused to leave me, even if they just stayed with my daughter! The only difference was that, unlike me, she rarely blushed from embarrassment.

I was fairly sure that Charlie was going to find himself at the centre of a social whirl. The poor guy, I had never been extrovert enough to prepare him for sharing a house with a girl like Nessie. I could only be grateful that Sue, Edward, Jacob, Seth, and I would be in close proximity to assist him if it all got too much. The wolves and the Cullens could be called in as reinforcements if needed, I thought wryly.

So, everything was ready for the big day. Nessie was safely installed in my old room. Edward cryptically suggested putting bars on the windows; luckily Charlie was out of earshot. Of course we made some improvements. Edward sentimentally wanted to keep the old decorations, but Nessie pointed out that the wallpaper was peeling and shabby, and the bedspread was a relic from the eighties. I had to smile at his horrified face; he should have guessed that someone growing up in a house with Esme, Rosalie and Alice was not going to be satisfied with Charlie's décor.

We redecorated the room, bought a new desk and a few other bits and pieces. Edward drew the line at getting rid of the rocking chair and earned a kiss from me, much to our daughter's disgust! She brought her laptop, keyboard, stereo and piles of clothes in last. I felt slightly stunned; my little room had never been so stylish.

Nessie was so used to having expensive things that she didn't give it a thought. I had always tried to teach to appreciate how fortunate she was. I wanted her to understand how little some people had; I didn't want her to be completely selfish and spoilt. And for the most part I had succeeded, she was kind and generous. But sometimes the designer clothes and luxury goods, which Alice and Rose lavished upon her, made it difficult. I was thankful for Jake's influence. He'd never had much growing up and didn't let Nessie become too obnoxious.

Leaving her that first night was horrible, I knew that I would be seeing her the next day, but I could hardly tear myself away. Edward was even worse than me. I think he was planning to circle the house as she slept; I had to make him promise he wouldn't.

Jake would have been as bad, if he hadn't known that Edward could hear what he was planning. He just had to satisfy himself with the knowledge that Seth was in the house and would call him if needed. The only person, who viewed the separation as anything other than catastrophic, was Nessie herself. She was much too excited.

She just gave me a hug and smiled. "Bye Mom, see you tomorrow, ok?"

"I'll be here and you can tell me about your first day." I gulped and held her tightly.

Edward stuck to practical advice. "Try not to be _too_ conspicuous."

She just laughed and hugged him.

The job of escorting her to school on her first day was entrusted to Seth, as Charlie's stepson. Of course Jake decided to oversee the proceeding and drove them. So Nessie turned up for her first day as a senior at Forks High School, flanked by two huge bodyguards. I assumed that this was just the impact that Jacob wanted. His presence was an intended warning to the males of Fork's High school to stay away! Personally I thought that it would take more than that to keep them away from Renesmee.

As soon as he dropped her off, Seth came by the big house to tell us how it went. In the years I'd known him, he had changed from a gangly kid to a man. He was now nearly as big as Jake, but one thing that never changed was his good nature. He was the same kindly soul that he had always been. I was lucky to have him for a step brother. I fixed him a snack and we sat in the kitchen hear about Nessie's grand entrance.

"You should have seen her," he grinned. "When she stepped out of the car, the rest of the kids in the parking lot looked at her like a movie star had just arrived. They didn't know what to do; they just stood there with their mouths hanging open."

I could imagine, I remembered how I felt the first time I saw Edward. I smiled at the memory and Edward raised eyebrows questioningly. I leaned across the table and took his hand in mine.

"That brings back memories of my first day at Fork's High."

"You did create quite a stir!" He smiled ruefully.

"Not me! I was remembering seeing you across the cafeteria. I couldn't believe that you were real," I looked at him lovingly.

Edward's eyes met mine for a moment and then abruptly turned to Seth. Whatever Seth was thinking caused Edward to throw him an apologetic smile.

"Sorry! Rose and Emmett have the same effect on me." He then continued briskly. "Anyway, you were saying?"

"Oh yeah… so everyone's looking at her. The girls couldn't believe their eyes and the guys, well…!" I had to assume that what the guys thought was beyond words. But, by the grim look on Edwards face, apparently it was not beyond Seth's comprehension. He caught Edward's eye and choked slightly, before continuing.

"I thought she might be nervous or embarrassed, but she just looked around the parking lot, with the rain pouring and everyone looking boring and wet, and she just gave a really happy smile and said loudly, 'this is so exciting; it's a proper school with students and everything!' You should have seen their faces, it was hilarious. I mean nothing could have made that school yard exciting at that moment, except for her.

"So then Jake decided to walk her the whole way to the admissions office. He looked like a bodyguard," _I knew it!_ "But Nessie didn't seem to think it was weird that everyone was staring. She just carried on like everything was normal. And Jake was just glaring at people – mainly the guys – and Nessie was _smiling_ at everyone! I don't think they knew what to think." He laughed at the recollection.

"Well, we got to the admissions office and signed her in, by the way," Seth turned to Edward. "Mrs Cope says 'hello!'" Edward rolled his eyes.

"So Nessie was all ready for her first class and I thought I was going to have to literally _drag_ Jake away. He looked like he was never going to leave. I swear he had tears in his eyes. But in the end Nessie just touched his cheek and whatever she said, he pulled himself together and we finally got out of there." He grinned.

I didn't know whether to be amused or exasperated. Jake was worse than me. I was going to have to say something if he didn't let up. Thank goodness Seth was there.

"Anyway, I promised Nessie that I would leave work early, and collect her after school. I expect Jake will come too."

"Thanks Seth, that's really nice of you. I know Charlie will be grateful too."

Seth me gave a self-conscious smile and then distracted himself by finishing his sandwich in one bite. An anxious thought suddenly occurred to me. I turned to Edward.

"Do you remember how the other kids reacted to your family at school? You don't think that they would be frightened of Nessie do you. What if they avoid her?"

Seth snorted and even Edward laughed and squeezed my hand.

"Bella, that's just your worry talking, you know that she never scares humans. She's not venomous and she likes them. Those barriers just don't exist for her."

"Maybe, but most of the humans she knows, are ones who've known her since she was a baby. They have never been afraid of her. These people could be different."

Edward raised his eyebrows sceptically and shook his head. Suddenly my fears seemed silly. I laughed and went to make Seth another sandwich. Like the rest of the pack, he never refused food.

An hour or so later, after Seth had gone, Jacob showed up. He must have run over, because he was only wearing his shorts. I guessed that he had found the morning stressful and needed to relax in wolf form. Edward was playing the piano and I was reading in the living room when he arrived.

"Hey, Jake!" I called. "Aren't you working today?"

"No, I took the day off," he came in and kissed me on the cheek and nodded to Edward, "Hi."

"So, how did it go with Nessie?" I asked eagerly.

"Fine," Jacob scowled. I caught Edward trying to bite back a smile.

"Jake, what's wrong," I asked innocently. "Didn't Nessie like it?"

"Sure, _she_ liked it." He said frowning again.

"Don't you think that they liked her?" I was enjoying myself.

"Oh they liked her alright." He snapped, sitting down with a huff. I caught Edward's eye and he joined in.

"Isn't that a good thing?"

Jacob threw him a suspicious look.

"You should be more worried. You've sent her to school with a bunch of sharks." He accused grumpily. "I mean, those guys, can't they see she's just a kid?"

The thought of the hapless teenage males of Forks being described as sharks sent me into a fit of giggles. Jake ignored me and continued complaining to Edward.

"I mean, are you sure that you want her hanging out with them?"

Edward understood the devotion that caused Jake's extreme overprotectiveness, so he managed to keep the impatience out of his voice.

"She could be more dangerous to them than the other way around." He said lightly.

"That's not what I meant. They might be a bad influence."

"Look, I know what you mean, but I wouldn't like to take her away now, she'd be so disappointed." Edward worked on Jacob's weak point; he never liked to refuse Nessie anything.

Jacob sighed in resignation, but I had an ominous feeling, that this was not going to be the last time we had this conversation with him. I knew it was going to be tough on Jake. To him, she was still a little girl. It was strange really; I would have thought that with the imprinting, he would have been dying for her to grow up.

But somehow, the years he had spent with Nessie – protecting and guiding her, watching her grow – had had the opposite effect. He still saw her as a child. He hadn't started to see her in any other way. I was glad, she was still so young. But he was still fiercely possessive of her. Apparently, just the inkling that anyone else saw Nessie in that light brought out his most protective streak.

So it was unsurprising, that when Edward and I ran over to Charlie's after dinner, we found Jake there with Seth, Sue and Charlie. I was glad to find that Nessie was helping with the dishes. I had tried to impress upon her the importance of being obliging with the chores.

She was chattering excitedly as we entered the kitchen. The others were sitting around the table listening to her account of the day. When she saw us she dropped her dish towel and hugged us both.

"I've had the best day!" She exclaimed, "I've got so much to…" She was interrupted by the kitchen phone ringing. Sue answered it. Charlie and Seth exchanged a look.

"Nessie, it's for you." Sue held out the phone with a resigned expression. Nessie grabbed the phone and trailed it into the hall. I could hear her talking enthusiastically to a girl whose voice I didn't recognise.

"How many calls is that now?" Seth chuckled. Charlie just shook his head, half amused, half bewildered.

"I think that just about the whole school has called this evening." He glanced up at me, his eyes wrinkled. "I don't remember you being like this, Bells. Were you normal, or is she?"

I leaned down and hugged him. "I'm not sure either of us are, but I guess she's already doing better than I ever did."

Edward leaned against the counter and smiled at me.

"It seems like your worries were needless after all."

"What's that?" Nessie's head popped around the kitchen door as she hung up the phone.

"Bella was scared that you might not make any friends." Everyone looked so surprised that I started to justify myself.

"That's not quite what I said, I was just wondering if the kids would be friendly to you, as you're a stranger to them… and it is a small town." I quelled Edward with a look.

"Are you kidding? Everyone was so friendly, Mom."

She swanned into the room and I noticed what she was wearing. I realised that her interpretation of the words 'dressing down' was slightly different to my own. A pair of close fitting jeans and a glamorous rose sweater looked more like Rosalie's idea of school wear. No wonder everyone was so friendly.

I heard Jacob give an irritated cough, Nessie ignored him. We all knew that he would have been more troubled if they _hadn't_ been friendly.

"This really nice girl called Kristy was sent to take me to my first class, even though I had a map." Nessie touched my face briefly to show me her memory of Kristy. Charlie was still unaware of Renesmee's gift, so she was subtle about using it in front of him. She had a way of disguising communications with casual touches.

Kristy was a friendly looking girl with light brown hair, short and slightly overweight. I could tell from the tone of the memory that she and Nessie had hit it off immediately.

"She was so nice, she showed me around all day as well, though quite a few other people offered too."

"I'll bet they did." Jake muttered under his breath.

"But she was the funniest, so I wanted to stay with her."

Charlie decided to lead the conversation into more serious territory.

"How did you like your lessons? What were the teachers like?"

Nessie grinned and tilted her head in thought. "Well… they were pretty funny too. I'm not sure that they know very much!" She concluded cheerfully. Edward tried to disguise a laugh with a cough and Charlie frowned. I felt a lecture coming on.

"That's no way to talk about your teachers," he said firmly. "Bella, I hope you've been teaching her to show her teachers some respect." Great! He'd decided to blame _me_! "Manners never cost anything you know."

"Come on Dad, when have you ever seen Nessie be rude to anyone?"

Nessie breezed over his disapproval with a skill that I had yet to acquire.

"I was very polite Grandpa. Anyway, I liked them and they all said that they were very glad to have me in their classes," she added smugly.

"Humph," Charlie gave up and tried another avenue. "Did you see any of your Mom's old teachers?"

I was curious too. There must be one or two still working at the school. I mean, Mrs Cope was still there.

"I'm not sure, maybe a couple. But," she added triumphantly, "I definitely had your old biology teacher, Mr Banner." I raised my eyebrows in surprise.

"How did you know he was my teacher?"

"We had a chat, when he realised who I was, he told me that he taught you." She explained.

I found myself lost in my human memories. Mr Banner could never have guessed how, for a few short months, his class had become the focal point of my existence. It hadn't been his teaching that had obsessed me. I looked up and my eyes met Edward's. Although no one else noticed, for a moment electricity hummed. Nessie continued obliviously.

"He sent you his best regards. He said that you were his favourite student." Edward smirked. I would have to ask why later.

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	2. Nessie, new friends

**Chapter 2. **

**Nessie – new friends**

It was almost pathetic how excited I felt about starting school. I couldn't entirely hide it from my dad, but I was especially grateful that Uncle Jasper was away, he would have thought that I was losing it. It was so silly, I mean, I was so far ahead of high school academics, but in other ways my excitement made perfect sense. I was finally going to be human, sort of.

That didn't mean much to any of the Cullens, except my mother. She was the most human member of the family; probably having Grandpa around gave her that connection. Perhaps I did too; she would always have a half-human daughter. I could tell that my mom was happy for me, but probably a bit worried about how I was going to cope.

I wasn't worried. It might take a few weeks, but I was confident that, with the right attitude, I would soon get the hang of things. I was eager to get started. I remembered everything that I had been stopped from doing over the years. I knew they felt bad, but my family had had no choice; it would have exposed us all, if I had become too conspicuous. But even now, I wistfully thought of Kung Fu and ballet lessons…

I told myself that preparation was the key to successful integration and started phoning around the family for advice. Apparently the frustration and annoyance that had built up from years attending high school, was like a dam ready to crack. My innocent enquiries caused the waters to overflow. They all had something to say. I had to listen to hours of angry anecdotes about idiot kids and brain dead teachers. Annoying gym classes, boring exams, foul smelling food; I heard it all.

Of course, everyone wished me luck, but only as an afterthought. Although the advice was pretty eclectic and contradictory at times, there were some gems too. The only point that everyone agreed on, was that I should try not to stand out.

For example, if I were to answer a question in class, I should be polite, but keep it short and not elaborate. It might raise awkward questions, if I was seen to know more than the teachers, and possibly gain the resentment of my fellow students

I was strongly recommended to keep my competitive streak under control in gym. I had to aim for average. Luckily, some of the things that my family had to work at weren't issues for me. I blinked reflexively, I fidgeted, I could eat human food and I wouldn't have to constantly fight the desire to dine on my classmates instead. I could also go into the sun, I was warm blooded and I even had a pulse! These factors put me in a better position to blend in than the other Cullens and they had got away with attending high school for _years_.

On the first day of school I was up and showered extra early. There wasn't much else to do; I had already chosen my outfit. My mom had told me that I should wear something low key, like jeans and a sweater. That was no problem, Aunt Rose had sent me several pairs of jeans, and I had a dusky rose cashmere sweater, which Aunt Alice had bought in London. They were perfect; I was sure to fit in wearing those!

I wasn't quite sure how to do my hair. It would have been nice to have Aunt Alice to help, but on second thoughts, she did have a tendency to go a _little_ over the top. I settled for a half pony tail. If only I wore glasses, then I could add a studious air to my appearance. I suppose I could have some fake ones made, but it was a little late for that now.

I bounded down the stairs and into the kitchen. Grandpa Charlie and Sue were already up.

"Hello, sunshine," said Grandpa indulgently. "Your mom was never such an early riser. At least _you_ don't miss the best part of the day."

I avoided mentioning that that was no longer a problem for Mom and stuck to the conventional, "Good morning."

"I made you a proper breakfast." Sue handed me a plate piled with bacon, eggs and toast. Yuk! Lucky I was an immortal, otherwise the cholesterol might have killed me. I was suddenly worried about Grandpa, until I remembered that Dr Gerandy had him on a low fat diet. He was eating cereal.

"Thanks," I proceeded to try and force down my breakfast under the scrutiny of Sue's eagle eyes. Luckily for me, Seth created a distraction by coming into the kitchen. Of course he wanted a huge helping, so it was easy to push some of my food onto his plate, when Sue's back was turned. Charlie didn't rat me out. I started to realise, that eating breakfast was only the first sacrifice that I would have to make to be human. I wondered what else I would have to do.

I wasn't going to be driving my Audi to school this morning. Seth and Jacob had promised Grandpa that they would see me there safely. Of course, we would be the biggest danger in the school yard that morning, so it was a bit of a moot point. I must admit I was glad of the moral support. Jake arrived before we were ready, so he was given a helping of breakfast too. That was probably his aim.

I put on my dark brown jacket and brown boots – they worked well with the pale pink sweater – and I was ready to go. I had to drag Jake out of his chair and after kissing Grandpa and Sue goodbye, I was off.

We arrived in the parking lot in plenty of time. I could hardly wait to get out of the car. It was a pity about the rain; I hoped it didn't mess up my clothes. I wanted to make a good impression. It was so exciting, I felt as if I was in one of those school movies, but it was for real! I looked around me at the buildings and the other kids. Luckily they didn't look unfriendly.

'This is so exciting; it's a proper school with students and everything!'

Seth laughed and Jake snorted. He didn't rate school the way I did. Of course he had actually attended one, so the novelty might have worn off for him. We made our way up to the front entrance. I made sure to smile at the kids we passed. I secretly wondered if any of them would want to be friends with me.

Jacob found the admissions office and the middle aged secretary gave me the forms I needed to fill in. She had been expecting me, it was really nice. She said that she remembered my Uncle Edward. She was a little hazy when I asked if she knew my Aunt Bella. But she still made me feel very welcome. Jake and Seth waited as I completed all the paperwork. When I was finally done, I suddenly felt a little nervous. The time had finally come for me to put all my preparation to the test. What if I wasn't up to the challenge?

I looked at Jake for reassurance. He seemed far more anxious than me. It was pretty funny. I suddenly relaxed; it didn't matter if I got everything wrong, Jacob and my family would always love me. Maybe if I survived a whole week at school we have a celebratory hunting trip at the weekend. I touched his face to show him my plan.

He smiled and gave me hug. Seth pulled his arm and they left me in the office. I had to wait there, until a senior girl called Kristy Larsson arrived. She had been assigned to take me to my first class. She popped her head around the office door with such a friendly grin, that the last of my worries evaporated.

She turned out to be just the right person to take me around. She was a little shorter than me and slightly overweight. She had wavy, light brown hair, a very pretty face and a big smiling mouth. She seemed to be on good terms with everyone we passed. We arrived in English a few minutes late. No one minded. They were all really friendly, even my teacher, Mr Kent. I was allowed to sit with Kristy.

"I guess we just missed the traditional 'senior year' lecture, thank God," she whispered as we sat down.

"What do you mean?" I whispered back and noticed several people glance in our direction.

"My cousin told me, that on the first day of senior year, every teacher starts their class with a lecture. They're always about how you will need to work hardest in _their_ class and the impact it will have on the rest of your life, blah blah blah…!" She giggled and raised her eyes.

I smiled back and wondered if the teachers were right about the impact on your life, for me at least.

My first ever class went well. We were mainly going over the plan for the year and getting our reading lists and study guides. Kristy whispered to me most of the time, filling me in about the school and the rest of the senior year. She was very funny and I was glad that I had already met one nice person. She even offered to show me around for the rest of the day and I accepted with real gratitude.

When the bell rang, a lot of my classmates came over to say 'hi' as we were clearing away our books. A couple of them even asked me if I needed to be shown around. Kristy had already offered, but I appreciated the gestures. I couldn't believe how friendly everyone was. I would have chatted longer, but Kristy said that we would be late for our next class. I hurried out of the room. I didn't want to get into trouble on my very first day!

Morning lessons flew by; I tried my best not to do anything out of the ordinary. There was a lot of whispering, everyone was catching up after the holidays. My extra hearing allowed me to eavesdrop and find out a little more about the other seniors. I didn't feel too guilty about that, as no one said anything very personal. I memorised all the names I heard and tried to understand the network of relationships, tying it in to what Kristy had already told me. I even managed to listen to the lessons – a little bit – it was difficult; everything else was so much more interesting.

At lunch time Kristy found me again and took me to the cafeteria. I could have just followed my nose. It was a little intimidating walking into the crowded cafeteria for the first time. New students clearly got a lot of attention in this school. As I walked in, every single person there – including the serving staff – turned and looked at me. I reminded myself, that this was what any newcomer could expect in a small school and just smiled.

Kristy hustled me into the queue and made recommendations, as I chose my lunch. Luckily I had been prepared for this dilemma. None of the food looked very appetising, so I just took small portions.

"You should sit with us." She pulled my arm and led me to a table right in the middle of the room.

We sat down with a couple of students, who I had already met in English, including Kristy's best friend, a tall, blonde girl called Leanne Van Aarden. They were clearly very popular, because within minutes our table was packed and so were the ones nearby. Kristy fell into an easy conversation with a couple of kids next to her.

I had been keeping quiet up until now, but I realised that if I wanted to make friends I really should make some effort. There was a dark haired boy from my English class, called Jason McCreedy, sitting opposite me. I noticed a surfing magazine was poking out of his bag.

I caught his eye and said in my most friendly voice, "Do you surf?" This seemed like a reasonable conversation opener.

He looked a little surprised and grinned, "I try to!"

I smiled and took a reluctant bite out of my apple. Some of the kids nearby fell silent, listening to us. They must have been interested in surfing too.

"How about you?" He asked, grinning back. He had a very nice smile.

"Yes, I do." I had been taken to the shore by Jake and the pack since I was a little kid. I loved it. My dad had to remind me not to show off too much. I had become practiced in the art of deliberately falling off my board.

"A few of the guys surf nearby, you should come with us sometime."

"That would be great." It felt nice to be included.

This was by no means the only social invitation that I received that day. Added to which, several kids mentioned the senior year clubs and societies. I knew that I wouldn't be able to attend them all, but I started to realise that my social calendar was going to be pretty full.

By the time Jacob and Seth arrived to collect me, I was on the way to knowing most of the senior year. I was waiting in the parking lot, chatting to some other students, when they pulled up. Jacob got out of the car and waved to me, he towered over the kids standing nearby. They cast nervous glances in his direction.

"There's my ride." Waving goodbye, I skipped across the tarmac, bursting with news.

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	3. Nessie, games club

**Chapter 3. **

**Nessie – games club**

The next few weeks exceeded all my expectations. I didn't seem to have a free moment. On the second day, I decided to investigate some of the school clubs. I realised, that if I could occupy some lunch breaks with activities, I wouldn't have to eat that awful school food every day.

I found processed human food absolutely disgusting. My enhanced senses could detect all the added chemicals. I really didn't know how much I would be able to take. I passed the notice board on the way to lunch and glanced at the posters.

Although it was only the second day of term, there were already messages posted. I took a note of the meeting times of the Film Club, the Chess Club, the Music Club and a couple of others, they were mainly commencing the next week. I suddenly spotted one group that was meeting that day; the Games Club. That sounded promising!

They were gathering in one of the maths rooms, in the second half of lunch break. I sighed; there was no way to avoid eating today. I sat in the cafeteria, with Kristy and her friends, and worried down a sandwich. I kept an eye on the time; I didn't want to miss the Games Club meeting. I stood up to leave, before anyone else had finished.

"Hey Nessie, where are you going?" Asked Kristy, in surprise. The others looked up.

"I thought I might go to the Games Club. It sounds interesting."

She raised her eyebrows and the boy sitting next to her, cut in with a smirk.

"Only if you like Dungeons and Dragons and Star Trek."

He was a big, blond senior called Trent; I had met him in gym the day before. He was the volleyball captain and seemed to be the overconfident type. I was not going to be put off.

I shrugged and said. "I'll tell you how it goes."

I took a mistaken short cut to the mathematics building and arrived five minutes late. The Club meeting was already in session when I walked through the classroom door. The membership was sitting around a bench at the far end of the room and consisted of five boys – three seniors and two juniors – they all looked slightly confused when I entered the room.

"Is this the Games Club?"

There was no answer; they just regarded at me with shocked expressions, so I tried again.

"Are girls allowed to join?"

A chubby boy, with a round face and short sandy hair, blinked and pulled himself together.

"Do you know a girl who wants to join?" He sounded as if this was a wholly new concept.

"Well, I wondered if I could."

He exchanged a flabbergasted look with his neighbour and then turned back to me. "Really? I mean… sure!"

I pulled up a chair and introduced myself. Then they told me their names. The sandy haired boy was a senior called Oliver Smith. He seemed to be the unofficial organiser of the club. The two other seniors were a gangly boy with dark curly hair named Zack, and Rob. The juniors were Richard, who seemed rather shy, and Pete.

An awkward silence followed the introductions, which was finally broken by my enquiry.

"What's that?" I pointed to the large paper grid laid out on the table.

"That's the board where we play the game." Oliver informed me politely.

"And what are those?" I pointed to a selection of funny shaped dice.

"Those are the dice."

"What game are you playing?"

"Dungeons and Dragons. It's a role playing game."

"Right," I nodded thoughtfully. "It's a game where you take on a character."

"That's right." He began to explain the basic concepts. After their initial silence, the other club members started to join in the conversation. They were planning to start a new game this year, and described various characters and adventures. They had all been working on new ideas during the summer. Richard pulled out a folder of character drawings and passed them around the table.

Oliver handed them to me. I looked through the folder, impressed. "Wow, these are amazing." They really were.

Richard blushed shyly. I pointed to one of the pictures.

"What's that creature?"

"A wereboar."

"It's great… I wish I could draw like you."

They started to discuss their characters for the new game and I listened, absorbed in what they were saying. A thought suddenly occurred to me.

"So, do I have to choose a character?"

"We won't be starting play until next week." Oliver answered. He seemed to be the group spokesman.

"So, do I choose my character next week?" I looked around the surprised faces. Oliver was sceptical.

"Do you really want to come back? Next week we will be here for the whole lunch break," he warned.

"Of course I do, if I'm welcome." I smiled. This was _way _better than eating weird, chemical cafeteria food. All the Game Club members were quick to assure me that I was entirely welcome.

"But maybe someone could lend me a rule book to read in the meantime. And tell how to choose a character." I pointed to Richard's drawings. "I can see it takes careful planning."

Zack passed me some a couple of thick books and said portentously. "You are now a _hapxitu_"

Someone groaned and Oliver frowned. I wondered if Zack was having a joke at my expense, but no one else seemed to think it was funny. I gazed cautiously at him.

"What does that mean?"

He smiled, eagerly. "It translates to 'member'." Suddenly Trent's comment sprung to mind.

"Is that Klingon?" I asked innocently.

Oliver smothered a laugh and Zack frowned. "No it's Na'vi!" He said stiffly.

"Na'vi?" That sounded vaguely familiar.

"The language spoken on Pandora." He explained.

"Oh, you mean like in the Avatar movies?" I was glad that it finally made sense. He nodded, pleased at my sudden comprehension. I showed off my knowledge. "I heard the last movie cost a billion dollars."

"Err, yes." He tried to get back to the point. "I run the school's Na'vi language circle."

"He's the only member," snickered Pete. "So really, it's more of a straight line."

"I love languages. Where did you learn it?"

Zack threw Pete a triumphant look and started to explain the best places to find lists of Na'vi vocabulary. We were interrupted by the bell.

I thanked the Club members and promised to see them all next week, then hurried to my next class armed with several heavy books and plenty of food for thought.

Most of the class were already there when I arrived for history. As soon I sat down, Kristy asked me how the Games Club went.

"It was great; I'm definitely going back next week."

Trent, who was listening from across the room, sauntered over. "Why are you wasting your time with that junk? You should try out for sports."

Kristy frowned and as I tried to bite back a rude retort, a quiet voice came from behind me.

"What's it to you anyway, Trent?"

I turned around to see Jason calmly putting down his bag. Trent mumbled and returned to his seat, wearing a sulky expression. Jason winked at me and proceeded to pull his books out of his bag. I whispered a thank you; he had saved me from an argument on my second day at school.

After I had finished my homework, that evening, I pulled out the Dungeons and Dragons books and took them downstairs to the living room. Seth was already home from work, watching TV. I sat down on the sofa next to him.

He picked up one of the books and smiled. "I didn't know you were into Dungeons and Dragons?"

I explained about the Games Club and how I needed to study the rules. He laughed and said ruefully. "I could help you; I used to be into that stuff when I was a kid."

I was delighted and he spent the next half hour explaining the principals of play and discussing character choices. He seemed to know an awful lot about it, for someone who apparently hadn't played for years! I was teasing him when Jacob arrived. I bounded to the front door. He gave me a hug and followed me to the front room.

"How was school?" He sat down in the big chair and stretched his long legs across the floor.

"It was great." I said excitedly. "I was just telling Seth, that some guys said I could join in their role playing game."

Jake sat bolt upright and shot me an outraged look. I tried to brush over his unexpected response and added. "I can't decide whether or not my character should have swords or a whip."

"What!" Jake exploded.

Seth was shaking with laughter next to me and Jake threw him a look of indignation.

"She's talking about Dungeons and Dragons board games," explained Seth, still chuckling.

Jacob looked slightly abashed and then grinned. "I was worried there, for a second."

I shook my head in confusion. "You're so weird sometimes."

He asked me about my character. I said that I was considering being and elf. According to Seth, it was a 'classic'. Of course, I would have to choose a decent name.

"And, elves have a language too." I added cheerfully. "I'm sure I could pick it up." I didn't want to be outdone by Zack and his Na'vi!

I told them about Richard's drawing of a wereboar. Jake said jokingly. "Nessie, you could be a werewolf."

Grandpa chose that very moment to walk into the room, which was unfortunate as he was officially in denial about everything supernatural. He clearly assumed that Jacob was making a serious suggestion about my future, because his face went a deep red and he went straight back to the kitchen. I had to cover my mouth with a cushion so that he wouldn't hear my laughter.

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	4. Bella, settling in

**Chapter 4. **

**Bella – settling in**

I watched the events of the next few weeks with great interest. I was not able to meet Nessie's new friends and witness her school days in person. But, the images that she replayed for me, gave a vivid snapshot into her new school life. She really seemed to be flourishing.

Every day there was something to tell. Her core group of friends were Kristy, Leanne and Jason. But, in addition, were friends from various clubs and teams. Surprisingly, the most important of these, seemed to be her friends from the Games Club. I noticed how many of her evenings were spent working on projects for their group meetings.

In her first couple of weeks at school, Edward took several trips to eavesdrop on the minds of the school staff and students. As always, he was listening for a sign that someone had become suspicious. He was also dying of curiosity to see how Nessie was getting on at high school – though he would never admit it!

After the final visit, Edward just shook his head and said. "I can't believe it, she really is amazing."

"In what way?" I was curious.

"She actually fits in. Far more than my family ever did," he confessed admiringly. "More convincingly than most humans."

I laughed. "It sounds like she's doing better than I did at Forks High."

He continued on his train of thought. "The most significant difference is that not only do they really like her, but they _trust_ her. That is something that none of us has achieved, in all the time we've spent at high school."

"I trusted _you_." I reminded him.

He sighed and stroked my cheek. "Bella, I think that you would be classed as the exception that proves the rule. Your responses were always completely back to front."

He seemed to be right about Nessie though. She had put everyone at their ease. No one was suspicious of her. It was almost miraculous. Only Jake seemed unsurprised.

Jacob's reaction to Nessie's latest venture was not quite what I had expected it to be. I was impressed at the maturity he displayed. Although he had shown an initial jumpiness – when she first started – it quickly became very clear that his wariness was due to protectiveness rather than jealousy.

After the first few days, he became confident that the school contained no hardened rakes and completely relaxed on the subject. He met most of her friends, because almost every afternoon Nessie would invite at least one over to Charlie's house.

Jake visited her every day after work, but didn't stay for long. He seemed to be quite consciously avoiding interfering with her social life. Intuitively, he understood how much this newly found freedom meant to her. He put her feelings first and listened to her plan activities with her school friends with complete equanimity.

I thought, at the very least, he might resent her firm friendship with the attractive Jason McCreedy, but I was wrong. At first I had wondered if he was just hiding his jealousy really well, but Edward assured me that Jake felt none.

"He really doesn't feel threatened. His bond with Nessie is too strong."

As a result, Nessie was able to go surfing with Jason without having to suffer any guilt trips from Jacob. In fact she could see whoever she wanted without Jake raising any complaints. I was glad that Nessie still considered it important to go hunting with Jacob at least once a week. It was their special time together. She admitted that sometimes being completely human was hard work.

"I can be myself, when I'm hunting with Jake," was her way of describing it.

Charlie and Sue seemed to be most in need of sympathy. I was glad that Nessie was prepared to be friendly to everyone, but as a result, there was no one in the senior year who had not, at some point, visited their home. Of course Nessie had her regular friends, who seemed to be around almost every day and the Games Club, who now held an official meeting at Charlie's house.

Charlie grumbled to me about it one evening.

"She's not like you, that's for sure, Bells! I can't walk into the house without tripping over some strange kid."

"I'm sorry, Dad. I'll tell her not to invite people around so often."

He instantly made a U-turn. "Well now, I'm not saying I mind and it makes her happy. Though all she does is run in and out of the kitchen, fixing them snacks. I swear they treat this place like a diner."

I wasn't pleased to hear that she was encouraging her friends to eat him out of house and home. Charlie saw me frown and understood at once.

"Don't worry, she always buys the groceries and cleans up after her friends. Not that she really needs to… but she's a considerate girl. You should be proud of her."

And I was.

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	5. Nessie, uncomfortable thoughts

**Chapter 5. **

**Nessie – uncomfortable thoughts**

"I'm telling you, it was like kissing a washing machine!" Leanne shrieked, accompanied by the giggles and squeals of her audience.

"Geez Leanne, it'll be lunch in a minute and I do actually want to keep my food down," groaned Kristy.

We were standing in the damp parking lot, waiting for the fire drill to end. Leanne had decided to entertain us all with tales from her dating hell. I smiled nervously, this conversation was not the first of its kind that I had encountered since joining High School, and as usual I was embarrassed.

I could hardly understand why, I had spent my whole life surrounded by other people's intense immortal passions. Although my family tried to play things down in my presence, I had a pretty fair idea of what was going on. I think that they were all secretly relieved that I slept so soundly.

My family treated me as if I was even more innocent than I really was, it was a bit silly. Ok, I had never actually done anything, but I understood the principals. But this still didn't explain why Leanne's conversation was making me so uncomfortable.

I could guarantee that Leanne's father never looked at her mother, the way my dad looked at my mom. Then again, I was also sure that my mother would never talk this way about Dad! They never made me squirm the way that the girls at school did, it just seemed so crude and unromantic.

Kristy didn't seem to mind the topic of conversation. Maybe she was hardened to this kind of talk. She just threw me an amused smile, as Leanne described the hazards of French kissing. Leanne caught the look and her eyes narrowed gleefully.

"Kristy, I saw that!" She crowed

"What?" Kristy laughed.

Leanne turned on me, "Nessie, what did she tell you?"

"Um…"

Luckily, Kristy broke in first. "I didn't say anything, I was just thinking about bad kissers."

"Oh my God! _Who_?" Leanne was quick to catch the thread of gossip. Kristy just shook her head and grinned.

"I'm not saying."

This was followed by the other girls bombarding her with a list of names. She didn't seem offended; instead she smiled evasively. I stood silently, with a forced smile on my lips, wondering how long it would be before we could go back to class. I wasn't that lucky. Leanne, seeing that Kristy wasn't going to spill the beans, turned her attention to me.

"So Nessie, who was the worst kisser you dated?" She demanded. I didn't know what to say; she wasn't being deliberately malicious, but I still felt awkward and embarrassed.

I was just trying to think of an answer, when Kristy interrupted. "You're kidding right?"

I blushed in chagrin, was it that obvious that I had never even gone on a date, let alone kissed anyone?

Kristy continued in an exasperated voice. "It's safe to assume that Nessie only dates cute, popular guys who are _great_ kissers!" She rolled her eyes and sighed, "I don't want to know, it will only make me jealous. Its girls like me who end up with the washing machines!"

The other girls groaned enviously and nodded in agreement. I sighed with relief, not entirely sure if Kristy really meant what she said, or if she was just getting me off the hook. I kept my eyes down until the conversation moved onto a safer topic.

It was a relief that fire drill ended, just as the bell went for lunch, allowing me to escape to Games Club. No one there ever talked about kissing! I spent the whole of lunch hour immersed in a world inhabited by monsters and people with superpowers; it was much less scary.

Games Club was definitely my favourite extra-curricular activity. I really liked the other members and they seemed happy to have me in the group. My degree in Medieval History and my extensive knowledge of mythology turned out to be surprisingly helpful when planning game scenarios. Plus, I always brought snacks for the others. I had finally settled on a character, she was an elf – not a werewolf – and I named her Neoin.

Unfortunately, lunch break ended and I had to head back to the world of hormonal teenagers. For some annoying reason, throughout the afternoon, my mind kept wandering back to the girls' conversation in the parking lot.

It bothered me. I sat through my classes in a daze. In every other way, I had found school a breeze; like a cultural exchange where I'd had no problem with the language and customs. The academics were easy. I could choke down the food, sort of. I liked the locals and I had made friends. But suddenly I was confronted with a whole new problem and it wasn't one where my extra abilities helped.

I had spent a part of my life changing at incredible speed. I was quick to grasp new concepts and adapt. But this was different; I wasn't changing so fast anymore and, for the first time ever, things were moving more quickly than I could comprehend. I was left feeling like a little kid, alone in a hostile environment, with no clue how to proceed.

All the time my mind kept going back to Jake. I just wished he was here to reassure me, the way he always did when I was worried. But I suddenly realised, that I couldn't speak to him about this.

Since I could remember, Jacob and I had had a special connection. Although we didn't talk about it much, I knew that he had imprinted on me. And I loved him as much as my mom and dad. He was family.

When I was small, I remember someone in the pack saying that I was 'promised' to Jake. My dad put a stop to that talk. He said that I was too young to be held to any promises. No one mentioned it again, my mom and dad carried on treating Jake and me the same as always. But, I felt that on the reservation there were still expectations for us, whether or not anyone said so.

Before now, I hadn't really given much thought to what those expectations were. Jake was a constant. Always kind and reliable, he was a part of my life that I couldn't imagine living without. But, would it always be like that, or were things supposed to change? If so, when?

The teenagers around me seemed to be interested in more than just friendship. Most of the girls in my class wanted boyfriends. I started to wonder if there was something wrong with me, I had never given boys a second thought. I tried to picture what it would be like, to go out with any of the guys that I knew, and found myself cringing at the idea.

I brooded my way through my final class, staring out of the window, ignoring what was going on in the classroom. I was eager for the day to be over, so I could have some peace and quiet to think. When the bell finally rang, I was up and out of the school before most of the class had collected their books. For once, I didn't hang around and chat to my friends. Someone called my name, but I pretended not to hear them, as I climbed into my car and started to drive.

I wasn't quite sure where I wanted to go. It was early afternoon, and there was no need to rush back to Grandpa's house and start my homework. I could go to see Mom and Dad at the big house, but I didn't want Dad to hear what I was thinking. It was just too embarrassing. It would be ok if I could talk to Mom, at least Dad couldn't hear her thoughts. But then, Dad would be suspicious if I wanted to speak to her in private.

I pulled over the car and stared at the steering wheel for five minutes. I was being an idiot, letting those girls get to me. I suddenly had an overwhelming desire to see Jacob. I could drop in on him at work. He would like that, I decided.

I turned my car around and drove straight to the garage. He was out front, having a friendly chat with a customer when I arrived, I waved at him and I went inside to wait. I heard the man ask Jacob who I was.

"She's Charlie Swan's adopted granddaughter, Nessie Cullen," he explained.

"I've heard about her. Wow!" The man sounded impressed. I wondered what he would do if he met someone who was really good looking, like Rosalie. I smiled imagining it. Maybe he would faint. Ha ha.

Jake neatly wrapped up the conversation and within minutes, was walking into the garage to find me.

"Hey, honey." He casually kissed the top of my head and went to put a wrench back on his tool rack. "How was school?"

His broad back was to me. I thought about my afternoon, spent brooding at the back of the classroom, and a lump came into my throat. I took a deep breath and tried to smile.

"It was alright." I said, without enthusiasm. Hearing the tone of my voice, Jacob turned his head towards me.

"Are you ok?" He asked, looking concerned.

"Sure. Just tired, I guess." I forced a smile. I'm not sure he bought it, but he put his arm around my shoulders, in his usual way.

"Well I'm glad you came by. Just don't overdo things at school."

It felt nice and familiar. Suddenly my previous insecurities seemed foolish. Who cared about boys? Jacob and I didn't have to change, we could carry on the way we always did. I cheered up and gave him a hug.

"Thanks Jake, I feel better already."

He grinned and patted my cheek. "That's what I'm here for."

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	6. Nessie, the world's worst party

**Chapter 6. **

**Nessie – the world's worst party**

The future suddenly opened up to me. I felt as if the long arm of fate had intervened on my behalf and all the correct components had fallen into perfect alignment.

The main element, for my taste of freedom, was the absence of my parents. They had gone, for over a week, to visit the family in New Hampshire. This occurrence would not normally have had much impact on me. But, the day after they left town, I was invited to my first ever non-family party.

I was sitting with Leanne in the cafeteria on Thursday, choking down another horrible meal, when Kristy plonked herself onto the chair next to me.

"Hey Nessie, what are you doing on Saturday night?" There was undisguised excitement in her voice.

"Um, why…?" My caution made me non-committal.

She lowered her voice so that only Leanne and I could hear. "My cousin is turning twenty one. He's having a party and I'm invited." She added gleefully. "He said I could bring some friends, if I wanted, so how about it?"

I exchanged a look with Leanne. Her excited expression already showed exactly how _she_ felt about the idea.

"Don't you think we might be a little bit young, if it's going to be full of twenty one year olds?" I said primly. The other two laughed at my concern.

"You must be joking, why would they mind? We're not little kids," snorted Kristy. "Anyway older guys are much more interesting than the immature boys around here." She cast a disparaging look around the room. I wasn't so keen to condemn our classmates.

"The guys here are ok." I wanted to defend my friends.

"You say that, but we all know that you spend your time outside school with Jacob Black. How old is he?" Leanne chipped in. There was an edge to her question that I resented.

"It's not like that. He's more like family."

"In that case, maybe you could introduce me. He's gorgeous."

I felt unaccountably irritated by Leanne's suggestion. Luckily, before I could reply, Kristy broke in, diffusing the tension.

"The point is that it would be _fun_ and I want you both there. _Please_ Nessie, say you'll come."

I thought about it for a moment. What was the harm? It wasn't a school night and I didn't exactly fritter all my time away at parties. Of course I would have to play it down to Grandpa, but at least my mind-reading father was away, so that wouldn't be a problem. He wouldn't know anything until it was too late. Thank goodness that Aunt Alice was blind to my activities. Not that I was going to go wild, or anything.

"Ok, I'll go."

"Great." Kristy hugged me, while Leanne clapped her hands together.

Of course, it was only after I had accepted, that she mentioned that the party wasn't actually in town. Her cousin lived in Clallam Bay, about twenty five miles north of Forks. It was too late to change my mind and disappoint her, so I nodded and agreed to her plans. She would drive us all there and we could come back and stay the night at her house afterwards. Her parents would be away that weekend. It was almost too perfect.

The thoroughness of her planning implied that she understood how little enthusiasm our families would feel, about their three teenaged daughters driving twenty five miles, to a party full of twenty-something men. I almost backed out when I thought about this, until I realised that my friends would have far more chance of surviving safely if I was there to protect them. I wasn't a half-vampire for nothing.

Once I had resolved to go, I quickly became swept up in the excitement. We spent all day Friday talking about what we would wear, how we were going to get there, and what we would tell our families we were doing. The simplest excuse was a trip to the movies, followed by a sleepover at Kristy's, so everyone went with that.

I did feel guilty when I told Grandpa my fake plans. I felt uncomfortable lying openly and I was grateful when he didn't really question me. It was a lucky break that Seth was at La Push on Saturday. If he had been at Grandpa's house, I'm sure that he would have guessed that I was up to something.

I wasn't going to say anything to Jake when he came round for lunch. But he invited me to La Push that evening and I was forced to tell him about my trip to the movies. I was doing the washing up at the time, so I could avoid looking him in the eye.

As it was, I felt awful lying to Jacob. I nearly told him the truth then and there, but something stopped me. I presumed that he would try to talk me out of it and I really didn't want to miss out. I was almost glad that he had to leave early.

I spent the rest of the afternoon surreptitiously getting ready. I washed my hair and took ages drying it into an ordered chaos of loose curls. I spent nearly two hours choosing an outfit. I eventually went with fitted black jeans, silver shoes and a strappy, turquoise silk top.

When Kristy arrived to pick me up, I went downstairs wearing my big, soft grey coat, so that no one would notice my glamorous ensemble. I noticed that she was wearing a long coat too, and so was Leanne.

The party was in full swing when we arrived – if by full swing you meant that most of the people there were half-drunk. We'd left our coats in the car, so I was the only one who wasn't shivering when we reached the front door.

Kristy and Leanne had gone more overboard on their clothes than me, wearing little short skirts and skimpy tops. I suddenly felt very glad that I was there to keep an eye on them. At least there were plenty of other girls at the party; they would distract attention away from my friends and me.

It wasn't quite what I imagined a party to be. My only points of reference on the subject were Hollywood movies and Aunt Alice's soirees. It was a bit less glitzy than I was expecting and I also noticed that the dancing wasn't very good. Still, on the upside, the crowd was lively and the music was cool.

Kristy's cousin pushed his way over to us through the dancers. He was a big, sporty guy who had clearly had too much to drink.

"Hey, Kris!" He hugged Kristy and glanced at me. "Glad you could make it."

She turned to us and made the introductions. He was very friendly and told us to go get a drink from the bar. We wished him Happy Birthday and as I followed the others to get a drink, he caught me by the arm and murmured in my ear.

"Do I get a Birthday dance later?" A strong smell of beer wafted towards me.

I smiled in a vague way, reluctant to snub the host within the first two minutes of arriving at his party. Leanne and Kristy didn't notice and I hurried after them. They started picking at the snacks and I stared longingly at the makeshift dance floor, sipping a coke.

We had been standing by the food for a few minutes, when it dawned on me that almost all the men in the room were staring at me. I realised that none of my other male acquaintances ever looked at me this way. I'm not saying that I hadn't received a few admiring glances at school. But when I thought about the boys that I knew – Jason, Oliver and my other friends – I realised that none of them ever leered at me. Of course, they were always sober.

All at once I felt very uncomfortable. I wished that I had worn a sweater… and a raincoat. The hungry look in their eyes made me feel like a pork chop that had been thrown into a pit of starving wolves. I suddenly wished that Jacob was there. I could hardly understand why I wanted him; these guys could not possibly represent the kind of physical danger that required his extra assistance.

I could see one or two of them starting to move in my direction. And here I was, like a sitting duck, waiting to be cornered at the snack table. I had to make a speedy escape! The dance floor seemed like a good option. I hurriedly turned to Kristy and Leanne.

"Do you guys want to dance?"

"Sure." Kristy was quite enthusiastic as I dragged her into the crowd.

At least dancing was easy and fun. I found a good spot on the dance floor and started moving to the music. Kristy joined me and I relaxed and started to enjoy myself. My fun was short-lived. Within minutes I was surrounded by guys, dancing uncomfortably close. I manoeuvred myself to another spot, only to be followed again.

The next hour, or so, was an exasperating game of cat and mouse. Wherever I was, within seconds some overfriendly, inebriated male would appear. I had to dodge backwards and forwards between the food table and the dance floor. In the end, I was reduced to shutting myself in the bathroom for five minutes, just to get some respite.

It was bad luck that my friends had got chatting to a couple of less obnoxious party guests and looked as if they were enjoying themselves. It would have been selfish to demand to leave so soon, so I continued to flit my way around the room. Eventually things came to a head on the dance floor.

A particularly persistent jerk managed to trap me in conversation. He had been making a nuisance of himself all night and managed to catch me on the dance floor. He looked like a football player and clearly had a pretty big idea of himself.

"Hey, baby. Are you a dancer?" Was his highly original opener.

"No, I'm still at school." I answered as politely as I could, hoping that he would take note of my age and leave me alone. He didn't. Instead he tried to put his arm around my waist.

"Wanna dance?" He pulled me towards him, roughly. I wanted to slap his stupid face, but instead I restrained myself and gently eased away.

"No, thanks!"

Before I could take a step he had caught me more aggressively with his other hand.

My eyes narrowed and I spoke through clenched teeth. "Let go of me."

His expression became belligerent. "Where you goin'?"

It took less than a second to have his hand off my arm and twisted into a position that would allow me to snap his wrist. I didn't go for the break. Even in my irritation, I knew that it would be an abuse of power to really hurt this guy. Anyway, it would do me no good to create a scene. So I satisfied myself with tweaking his wrist and slowly pushing him away from me.

"I said 'no thank you.'"

Looking into his face, I saw confusion and fear written in his eyes. I then released him so abruptly that he nearly stumbled over. I looked around quickly, to see if anyone had noticed our altercation. Luckily, it had happened so quickly, that no one had. I sighed with relief and left the dance floor.

I glanced at my friends; I didn't want to leave them undefended at this party. At the moment neither of them looked as if they wanted my protection. Kristy was on the dance floor and Leanne was kissing a guy on the sofa. She didn't seem in need of rescuing – psychiatric assessment maybe – but not rescuing. I turned and slid out of the back door, I may not have been able to go home, but I thought that they would survive for a few minutes if I took a walk outside.

In needed to clear my head. The back gate was open and led out to the beach. Quite a few people from the party had drifted outside to enjoy the night. There were the obvious romantic couples, but also some small groups of friends messing around on the shore. They were drinking and laughing. That was when I heard it, a desperate voice calling from further up the beach.

"Trina… _Trina_..! Help somebody,_ help me_!"

My superior night vision helped, as I scanned the beach. A short distance away I spotted a girl, standing knee deep in the water, shouting for help. I reached her before she realised that I was there.

"What's wrong?" I called.

She caught sight of me and waved her hand frantically towards the waves.

"My friend went swimming, she was drunk," she wept. "She hasn't come up!"

I didn't hesitate for a second; I just dived into the water fully clothed. I was a strong swimmer and the current was no problem for me. But I could understand why it might cause trouble to a drunk human. There was no sign of her above the water. I took a deep breath and submerged quickly. The visibility wasn't great, but I could see further than I had expected. She was nowhere to be seen. I swam with the current, hoping to follow her route.

I had to come up for air, not because I needed to just yet, but because I knew that the girl on the beach would worry that I had drowned too. I could hear her screaming and weeping to a group of people who had now gathered around her. One or two of them were up their waists in water, unsure whether or not to risk going in too. Thankfully they were called back by their friends.

I went down again, searching more urgently this time. There was still no sign of her. The girl might have already drowned; it was taking so much time to find her. I wasn't even sure how long she had been under. Where _was_ she? Just as I was starting to despair, I caught sight of a limp human form, resting on the sea bed.

I reached down and grabbed her, under the arms, pulling her to the surface as quickly as I could. Her saturated clothes weighed her down, no wonder she had sunk like a stone. The weight was no problem for me.

Getting her to the shore was awkward; I had some trouble keeping her lolling head above the water. At least the swimming was easy. I could easily have carried her unconscious body onto the beach, but with all the humans watching it didn't seem like a good idea. I just let some of the guys in the crowd take her, when we got close to shore.

It wasn't over yet. She had swallowed a lot of water. I could hear her heart stuttering faintly but she wasn't breathing properly. Unfortunately, I turned out to be the only person who knew CPR. It wasn't the moment to retire into the background. I did what I could, and her breathing was regular by the time the ambulance crew got to the beach.

When they arrived, there was a much bigger crowd of people around us. Even Leanne and Kristy were there, sobbing and gasping. No one would believe that I was alright, they were all determined that I was suffering from hypothermia. I was wrapped in a massive blanket, thrown into the ambulance and driven to the Olympic Memorial Hospital.

I just managed to speak to Kristy before being whisked away; I told her not to follow me to Port Angeles. I said I would call home, and that they should get back to Forks before they were missed. She was undecided – but I promised to call, first thing in the morning – and she agreed to go home.

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	7. Nessie, a bad drive

**Chapter 7. **

**Nessie – a bad drive**

What had I done to deserve this? The end result of my intervention on the beach was that I saved a stranger's life and found myself, at two o'clock in the morning, in a hospital waiting room with no ride home.

My one stroke of luck was that we weren't taken to Forks hospital. At least this way, my exploits might avoid being broadcast to the whole town. I had to think quickly, to escape having any thorough examinations. The doctors would think I was suffering from palpitations and a deathly fever, if they took my pulse and temperature. Fortunately, I looked so well that no one bothered much about me.

The girl, Trina, showed every sign of recovery, but was staying overnight for observation. I kept out of the way when her hysterical parents arrived, unwilling to draw attention to myself. After a couple of hours hanging around the stark hospital waiting room, I was told that I was free to go.

Being registered as eighteen, I didn't need to have Grandpa come and sign me out. Unfortunately the doctor insisted that I call someone to pick me up. He thought that I might go into delayed shock. This was a spanner in the works. I had considered just running home, but now I couldn't. Crap!

Grandpa would probably have a heart attack if he was called to collect me from the hospital at two in the morning. And even if he was lucky enough not to have a coronary, he would never forgive me. He might even send me home to mom and dad, so that idea was definitely out!

I decided to try Seth's cell phone. He slept in the extension, at the back of the house, so the ringing phone would be unlikely to wake Grandpa or Sue. And I knew that he would forgive me. I used the phone booth in waiting room. I had some change in my pocket and dialled his number. It only rang twice before he picked up.

"Hello?" He sounded surprised.

"Hey Seth, it's Nessie, I'm sorry to wake you…"

"It's ok, I'm at La Push and I haven't gone to sleep yet." That was a relief, he was still up. Maybe he wouldn't mind driving to get me.

"I'm sorry to call you so late but…" I hesitated, unwilling to confess what I had really been doing that night.

"Nessie are you ok?" He sounded concerned and I was about to reassure him, when I heard another voice on the end of the line.

"_Nessie!_" I had completely forgotten that Jacob was probably with him. This just got worse and worse.

"Oh! Hi Jake…"

His voice was alarmed. "Nessie! What's wrong?"

I tried to calm him. "Um, nothing… I'm fine."

"Then why are you calling Seth?" He still sounded really tense.

It was going to take some skill to explain this away.

"Oh right...! Um…" Skill that I apparently lacked. "I needed a lift and I thought that Seth wouldn't mind. I forgot that he was at La Push. They won't let me out by myself."

There was a long pause and it sounded as if Jacob was struggling to keep his composure. "Who won't let you out? Where are you?"

My attempts at playing the situation down seemed to be failing dismally.

"At Port Angeles hospital…"

"_WHAT!_" He yelled. Clearly his grip on calm had been lost.

"Wait! Let me explain," I interrupted quickly. "I'm fine, I just pulled a girl out of the sea; she was drowning! And then they brought me in too, because I was soaked and now I'm stuck here until someone comes to accompany me home."

There was more silence and then Jacob spoke in a slightly more controlled voice. "Why were you in the sea?"

"I was at a party at Clallam Bay," tiredness was starting to take its toll and I couldn't think of an imaginative excuse. "Look I'll explain everything later, but _please_ come and get me."

"Stay where you are, I'll be right there." The line went dead.

I knew that Jacob would be a while, so I found myself a seat in a corner of the empty waiting room. I must have looked like a mess, my clothes were still damp and clinging to me and my hair was tangled by the salty water. I was exhausted. My eyes started to close in spite of the hideous fluorescent lights.

I don't know how long I had been waiting, but I was startled out of my stupor by the sound of footsteps. I recognised the sound and sighed with relief, I knew it was Jake. He came into the waiting room just as I stood up, my wet shoes squelching on the linoleum floor.

I looked into his face and received a severe shock. Very, very occasionally I had made Jake irritable, but I had never seen him look at me with this expression before. He was angry, I mean _really _angry. His mouth was drawn in a tense line and his frown was so deep that his eyes were lost in shadow. I gasped and dropped my eyes.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked in a deceptively cool voice. I nodded nervously.

I signed myself out at the reception desk and trailed behind him as we crossed the dark parking lot. Neither of us said a word. Every second the atmosphere became more charged. Jake was visibly fuming and I was kicking myself that I hadn't taken a chance and run home.

He unlocked the car and I climbed into the passenger seat. He didn't even look at me as he got in. We had been driving for about ten minutes before he spoke. I was so nervous that I jumped at the sound of his voice.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened?" He said in a clipped tone.

"I could show you?" I had never asked for permission to touch him before, but I wasn't going to take any chances now.

"Sure."

I sighed with relief and touched his face. I stuck to the important memories. Being invited to the party and saving the drowning girl. He didn't say anything, so I took a deep breath and started to apologise.

"I know that I shouldn't have lied, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to drag you out here at two in the morning."

"I'm not angry that I had to pick you up." He snapped. "Do you understand you scared the hell out of me?"

"I didn't mean to." My guilt made me defensive. "Don't I even get points for saving someone's life?"

His reply was blighting. "Trust me, Nessie. That's the only thing stopping me hauling your ass home to Charlie!"

I cringed at his words. "Where are we going?"

"You can stay at my house tonight. I'll drive you home in the morning."

Neither option was particularly appealing right now. A furious Jacob or an enraged Grandpa. I hung my head and kept my thoughts to myself.

"What were you thinking?" He burst out. "I didn't realise you could pull a stunt this _dumb_..!"

Jake had never spoken to me this way to me before. Tears of humiliation sprang into my eyes. I was stung into an angry response.

"Come _on_! Don't you think you're overreacting a bit..? I went to _one_ party, that's hardly crime of the century. Isn't it something that every teenager does?"

"I can't believe that you lied."

"Are you telling me that you've never lied to Billy about going out?" I argued.

"I've never lied to _you_." I was momentarily silenced by the edge in his voice. He continued grimly. "You're too young for those parties. Anything could happen."

"I can look after myself." I snorted rebelliously and showed him a memory of my dance floor dealings with the would-be Romeo.

Unfortunately, this snapshot of my evening only seemed to make Jacob angrier. For a moment he couldn't even speak, he just clenched his teeth and gripped the steering wheel. We didn't say another word to each other for the rest of the drive. I just kept my face turned towards the window, fighting back the tears.

It was nearly four in the morning when we arrived at Jacob's house. The reservation was peaceful and still. The only sound was Jake's car engine. I hoped that we wouldn't wake Billy. We both got out of the car and I tried to shut my door quietly. Jake slammed his angrily, so my effort was wasted. I followed him into the house.

Jake turned on a side lamp, though neither of us really needed the extra light to see in the dark. I stood awkwardly in the front room as he stalked into his bedroom. He returned, carrying a clean t-shirt and shorts, and tossed them to me.

"Rachel left these. You can wear them, she won't mind."

I caught the clothes and murmured a thank you. He looked at me thoughtfully.

"You look like you could use a shower. You're a mess." He went and fetched me a towel. "There you go."

I shuffled into the bathroom and locked the door. Jake was right, I did look a mess. My hair was matted and my clothes were clinging to me. They had been partially dried by the heat of my body and looked terrible. There was a chance that the jeans could be salvaged, but my crumpled silk top was a complete right off. I peeled them off and got into the shower.

The warm water did make me feel a little better. At least the dank smell was washed out of my hair. I didn't take long and when I emerged, I found Jake throwing a pillow and blanket onto the couch. He had taken off his shirt and was dressed in just shorts. The lamp threw shadows across his muscular frame, and I was suddenly reminded of just how strong he was. He looked up and I turned away, feeling self-conscious.

"You can have my room tonight, I'll sleep here."

"You don't have to do that." I protested feebly.

"It's not up for discussion, ok!" With these words he curled up on the sofa and closed his eyes, effectively ending the conversation. I realised that this was my cue to go to bed. I crept out of the room and closed the door behind me, sinking onto Jake's bed with exhaustion. I lay under the covers and tried to get some sleep, but somehow it evaded me.

All the day's events circled in my head, keeping me awake. I could hear Billy and Jacob snoring gently. At least they could sleep! I thought indignantly about Jacob's ridiculous overreaction. His harsh words came back to me with a vengeance, as I lay in the darkness. I just couldn't believe that he was so angry. He was _never_ angry with me. I replayed his words in my head over and over again.

Finally some understanding filtered through; he was angry because I had scared him, far more than I had realised at the time. When I considered our conversation from this new angle I had another uncomfortable insight. I had behaved like a selfish, inconsiderate idiot. Added to which, I had lied to Jacob and hurt him. I had _hurt _Jake!

I rolled onto my side, squirming with guilt. A second later I rolled onto the other side. I then sat up. It was no good, I couldn't just lie there, I had to apologise properly. I got out of bed and padded out into the front room. It would have been more considerate to wait until morning. But I didn't think I could hold out that long.

His long, brown arms and legs were dangling over the edges of the sofa as he lay in an undisturbed sleep. Well, it wouldn't be undisturbed for long! I crept over to him and knelt down by his head.

"Jake," I whispered. There was no response so I tried again. "_Jake, wake up!_"

He was completely out. I put my hand on his bare shoulder, he felt nice and warm, like me. I shook him and whispered urgently.

"Jacob! Wake up… _please_."

After a lot more shaking he finally responded by lifting his head and groaning.

"What's going on?" I wasn't sure he even remembered that I was in the house.

"It's me. I want to talk to you."

"Nessie?" He sat up slowly to face me. "What is it?"

He didn't sound angry, which I took as a good sign. So I sat down next to him and rested my face against his chest.

"You don't hate me do you?" I sighed.

"You know I don't." He sounded surprised and put his arm around my shoulders to give them a reassuring squeeze. He blinked and looked around the dark room. "What time is it?"

"I don't know, maybe five thirty. I couldn't sleep; I was worrying that you were still mad at me."

"I'm not mad anymore." He sounded more like his usual self. "Sorry I got so angry," he added apologetically.

"No, it was my fault. I promise I won't lie to you again. Say you forgive me."

He just laughed and kissed my head. "Sure, if you forgive me." I nodded and hugged him, as he added. "You should try to get some rest; you've had a busy night."

"I know. I'm sorry that I woke you."

"It's fine, just get some sleep."

I kissed him on the cheek and headed back to bed, sinking into a deep sleep the minute my head hit the pillows.

I was woken a couple of hours later by Jacob. He wanted to get me out of the house before Billy saw me and told Grandpa. I grabbed my clothes and was out of the door in about ten seconds flat. He got me to Forks in record speed and I arrived home just before Grandpa and Sue got up. I snuck into the house and ran to my room, to dump my damp things and change into some clean clothes. Then I quietly crept downstairs and banged the front door closed.

"Hi Grandpa, hi Sue!" I called up the stairs, before disappearing into the kitchen to wait for them to come down to breakfast. As I waited, the phone rang in the hall and I rushed to pick it up. It was Kristy. I could only thank my lucky stars that she hadn't called five minutes earlier.

She wanted to know if I was ok. I told her that I was fine and had got home with no problems. I didn't go into further details. I reminded her not to tell to anyone. Thankfully, she was in full agreement and so was Leanne, who was still at her house. I said we could talk at school, the next day, and ended the conversation when I heard Grandpa's footsteps on the stairs.

"Hey Nessie, I didn't expect you home so early." He popped his head around the kitchen door, clearly pleased to see me. "I thought you girls would be sleeping 'til noon, like normal teenagers."

"Yeah, I know, but Kristy had to run some errands for her mom, so we cleared out early."

He accepted my story and started talking about something else. I sighed with relief. My only moment of panic came when Seth arrived home; would he dump me in it? But I guessed that Jacob had filled him in, because he just gave me a look and said nothing.

By the end of the evening I finally relaxed, I couldn't believe that I had somehow got away with my Saturday night escapade.

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	8. Nessie, busted

**Chapter 8. **

**Nessie – busted**

I was wrong.

Everything was fine when I left the house for school on Monday morning. I couldn't wait to get to school and speak to Kristy and Leanne. I wanted to know what happened after I'd left them on Saturday. Unfortunately, I left some homework on my desk at home and had to go back for it, so I missed my chance to speak to either of them before class.

I made it to English just in time. It wasn't until halfway through the lesson, that I noticed I was getting a lot of funny looks from the rest of my class. I had no idea why. It wasn't until Mr Kent turned his back that Jason leaned over the isle and pushed a newspaper under my nose.

"You might like to see this," he said kindly. I gave him a puzzled smile and picked up the paper. When I saw the headline I nearly dropped it on the floor.

MYSTERY HEROINE IN DROWNING RESCUE

Tragedy was narrowly avoided on Saturday night when local girl, Katrina Hendricks, 20, was saved from a watery grave. She was heroically towed to safety by an unknown girl.

Miss Hendricks was attending the 21st Birthday party, of a friend. Local neighbour Mrs Fleeceman, 68, said that the partygoers had been consuming large amounts of alcohol and shouting on the beach for a large part of the evening.

Miss Hendricks admitted to being under the influence of alcohol when she decided to take a swim in the freezing water. She lost consciousness and would have drowned, had it not been for the timely intervention of another reveller.

Witnesses described a teenage girl diving into the water and rescuing Miss Hendricks.

"It was incredible, Katrina was under for ages, but this girl just kept diving until she found her. We had just about given up hope when she finally pulled her out. She even had to give her CPR. She was amazing."

But since the event, no one has been able to name the heroine of the hour. Miss Hendricks has spoken of her gratitude to her anonymous rescuer. "Without her, I wouldn't be here. I just want to say thank you."

Mr and Mrs Hendricks added their thanks, "we could never repay the debt that we owe this brave young woman. We thank her from the bottom of our hearts."

The hospital that treated both girls after the event refused to disclose the name of the girl. But they did say that she had suffered no ill effects from her midnight rescue.

Partygoers describe the girl as very attractive with red hair. She is believed to be a senior year schoolgirl, probably at one of the local high schools. Whoever she is, she deserves a medal.

Crap!

I put down the paper with a shaking hand. The whole class was watching me including Mr Kent, who was smiling. Someone started clapping and everyone else joined in. For one wild moment I thought of denying any involvement, but I already knew that the attempt would be futile.

The rest of the day was a nightmare. I had Leanne and Kristy begging me not to tell anyone that they were at the party too.

"My Mom would go crazy if she found out," said Kristy, as she returned my grey coat. "It's ok for you, you're a hero. I'm just a girl who snuck out to a party; I'll be grounded until graduation."

I assured them of my secrecy. I could hardly admit that _I'd _been there, so I wasn't about to snitch on them. I was congratulated by practically every occupant of the school, including Principal Green and I had to avoid Coach Mendes, who wanted to recruit me into the swim team.

I was still clutching at the hope that Grandpa might not have seen the article, when I pulled up outside the house. His police cruiser was parked outside. This was bad. I took a deep breath and went inside. Grandpa was in the front room, watching TV, when I entered. His expression was inscrutable as he looked up at me.

"Hey, Nessie."

"Hi, Grandpa." I said, trying to slip upstairs.

"Hold it one second, young lady." I reluctantly retraced my steps and went into the living room. Grandpa stood up slowly, and picked up the paper that was sitting on the coffee table.

"Have you seen this, Nessie?"

I nodded miserably.

"Are you the girl?" He asked calmly.

I hung my head. "Yes."

"You lied so that you could go to a party?"

"Yes."

He frowned and looked at the paper again. "I suppose you know you're in trouble."

"I'm really sorry, Grandpa."

He nodded in acknowledgement and started questioning me. "Were you drinking?"

"Just Coke."

"Smoking?"

"No."

"Taking drugs?"

"No."

"Anything else?" I wasn't entirely sure what he was getting at, but I shook my head anyway – just to be on the safe side.

"Well at least that's something." He sounded relieved, but added firmly. "You're never to go off like that again, not while you're under my roof."

"I promise I won't."

I watched as he re-read the headline. He smiled grimly. "At least you made good use of the time." For a split second he almost looked proud, but quickly concealed the expression.

"You're grounded until your parents come home on Saturday. They can decide how to deal with you. Now, I think you should go and do your homework."

"Ok."

I fled to my room, determined to study until dinner time. I couldn't believe that this was all that Grandpa was going to do to me, I had been expecting far worse. In my wildest imaginings I had even pictured having to explain to my mother why Grandpa had died of heart failure. Seth came up to see me when he got home from work.

"Mom told me what happened." He smiled.

"You didn't say anything, about you and Jake knowing, did you?"

"Do you want me to?"

I shuddered at the thought. "No way, it would just make Grandpa and Billy mad."

"No problem." He laughed and left me to my studies.

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	9. Bella, judgement

**Chapter 9. **

**Bella – judgement**

It was good to be back in Forks, especially since Rosalie and Emmett come with us. They were desperate to see Nessie and wanted to surprise her. She had promised to come to the big house straight after school. I was dying to see her. I listened for her approaching car, so was surprised to hear Charlie's police cruiser coming up the drive instead.

Edward was in the front room with Rose and Emmett, when they arrived. His expression instantly became wary. I flitted to the front door and had it open before they even got out of the car. The first thing I noticed was the grim look on Charlie's face and Renesmee's guilty expression. What had she been up to? I gritted my teeth and forced a smile.

"I'm so glad to see you…" I hugged them both. "How was your week?"

"Is that Nessie?" A bass voice called from inside the house. Her head spun round.

"Uncle Emmett!" Within seconds she was lost in a bear hug.

"You haven't changed one bit." He said, hugging her again. "Good to see you Charlie." He added, giving my dad a friendly nod.

Rosalie, who had followed Emmett into the hall, pulled him out of the way impatiently and hugged Nessie. "Hi, sweetheart."

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Nessie was so happy her eyes were filled with tears.

"We like giving you surprises." Edward appeared in the living room doorway.

"Dad." Nessie ran and hugged him. He looked at her thoughtfully.

"How have you been?" The change in her expression was almost comical. In an instant, her face went from happy to utterly crestfallen. She threw a cautious look at Charlie and said in a flat voice.

"Fine."

Charlie cleared his throat. "That's what I came to talk to you about."

Rosalie stiffened and Emmett grinned. Edward stayed calm. "Shall we discuss this in the dining room?" He asked politely. Rose and Emmett returned to the living room and turned on the TV; the rest of us filed into the dining room.

I knew perfectly well that Emmett and Rose would be listening from the other room, but for Charlie's sake, we pretended that the conversation was private. We sat down at the table and turned to Nessie. She was staring at her hands, looking dejected.

"Renesmee, did something happen while we were away?" Edward asked coolly – as if he didn't already know.

She raised her eyes nervously. "Well you see, it was like this…"

But, before she could go on, Charlie interrupted her by holding out the newspaper that he was carrying.

"This might explain a few things." He then shot her a look that made me wonder if he felt guilty for telling tales.

Edward read the front page with a curious air and then calmly handed it to me.

'MYSTERY HEROINE IN DROWNING RESCUE,' screamed the headline.

"Nessie was this you!" I gasped in surprise.

"I'm really sorry Mom, I shouldn't have been there," the words came flooding out in a rush. "I didn't tell Grandpa about the party… I shouldn't have lied, I'm sorry." She sounded surprisingly overwrought.

"No real harm was done," said Charlie, suddenly defending her. "But, I thought you'd like to know."

"Please don't say I can't live with Grandpa anymore. I _promise_ I won't lie again." Nessie begged with a trembling lip.

Her outburst surprised everyone, including Charlie. I don't think that he had remotely envisaged such a harsh punishment. He glanced at me with an anxious face, as if it had suddenly occurred to him that we really might drag her away. I glanced at Edward and saw a look of amusement flicker across his face.

Charlie, torn between his desire to do the right thing and his instinct to indulge Nessie, patted her shoulder and said gruffly.

"I didn't say I wanted you to leave, did I?"

She sniffed and shook her head. I caught Edward's eye, he looked as if he was actually trying not to laugh. Luckily, neither Nessie nor Charlie were looking at him. He managed to control his features and said in a serious voice.

"Charlie, I'm sorry that Nessie has caused you so much trouble. That was the last thing that we wanted when we sent her to you." He then turned to Nessie and added sternly. "You have abused your grandfather's hospitality by behaving this way. Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"I'm sorry… I'll never do it again." She whispered.

From the other room, I heard Emmett say to Rose. "Do what?"

"Search me." She answered.

Edward smiled at my dad and said quietly. "Charlie would you mind waiting in the living room while we speak to Nessie?"

Charlie looked unsure for a moment, before standing up and saying. "Of course." He then added with a worried expression. "Don't be too hard on her. Because of Nessie, there is a family out there who _didn't_ lose their daughter."

Edward nodded. "I understand. We just want to talk to her for a minute."

Charlie seemed satisfied with this reply and then threw me a sudden grin. "I guess it's time you learned how to deal with a wayward teenage daughter."

With this parting shot he left the room, chuckling to himself. He'd been waiting for his revenge for sixteen years. I heard him joining Emmett and Rosalie in the living room. Emmett instantly set to work, trying to discover what Nessie had been up to. Within a minute, the house was ringing with Emmett's booming laugh.

Nessie was still sitting at the table and blushed when she heard it. I felt a little sorry for her; she was much better behaved than I had been. And as for Edward, his teenage rebellion had _literally_ been carnage. He was clearly well aware of these facts, when he asked her what had happened.

She touched my face, showing us the party and the rescue. She also showed us Jake arriving at the hospital; he looked unexpectedly angry. I saw Nessie blush as she replayed this image, clearly Jacob hadn't approved of her exploit.

"I didn't tell Grandpa about Jake." Nessie explained quickly. "I didn't want him to get the blame."

From the living room, I heard Emmett give a snort of laughter. He was clearly still listening and whatever he was thinking made Edward pull an exasperated frown. He then shook his head and answered Nessie.

"It was probably sensible not to involve Jacob," he glanced at me. "It looks like we owe him."

"What's new?" I raised my eyebrows.

In the end we agreed that Nessie should be grounded for two weeks and have no school friends visiting in that time. Her face fell, but she accepted her punishment uncomplainingly. Edward gave her a lecture on being inconspicuous. Charlie seemed relieved that we hadn't been harsher, and Rose blamed Edward for the whole thing.

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**p.s. To anyone who has reviewed that I've been unable to thank personally, thank you for your lovely comments, I really appreciate them!**


	10. Nessie, family hunt

**Chapter 10. **

**Nessie – family hunt**

It was fantastic to have Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett in town. I had missed them and I must admit that their timing was immaculate. Uncle Emmett was particularly good to have around when diffusing a tense situation like – for instance – getting myself onto the front page of the local paper.

Once my dad had established that the general population of Forks saw nothing suspiciously supernatural in my actions, the family relaxed. Apparently, a number of people already knew that I surfed, and it was quickly understood by the whole town that I was a strong swimmer. In fact, some of the townsfolk thought that I had been punished too harshly; my dad never told me who those people were.

Uncle Emmett treated the whole thing like a huge joke and Aunt Rose decided to blame my parents. When my father tried to remonstrate with me on my foolhardiness, Aunt Rose interrupted him.

"You're hardly one to talk about saving humans, Edward. Like father, like daughter." She said acidly. "You probably gave her the idea, in the first place!"

Yes, it really was great to see them.

We had a family hunting trip planned for the weekend, in Wenatchee National Forest. I was pretty excited about it. After a week at school, trying to avoid talking about my previous weekend's exploits, I was more than ready to escape into the wilderness.

I was especially glad that Jacob was invited, too. I had been feeling bad all week, about Saturday's falling out. He had come over to see me during the week. Superficially, he treated me the same as usual, but underneath there was a touch of reserve. I didn't want to even consider the fact that I might have damaged his trust in me. I preferred to attribute it to some lingering annoyance at the trouble I had caused.

Whatever the reason, I thought that a hunting trip would be a good chance to put my little lapse behind us. Of course, Aunt Rose would rather have just me, without the 'dog,' but what was new in that? At least now, they could be civil to each other's faces. An uneasy truce had been reached between Aunt Rose and Jacob some years ago. Now when they met, they stuck to the one topic of conversation that they had in common: cars.

Uncle Emmett got on well with Jake, so I was glad he would be on hand, to diffuse any possible arguments. And my mother was practiced in the art of diplomacy between vampires and werewolves. So, I had no real misgivings when we all left for Wenatchee on Friday afternoon.

The weekend was cold, but sunny, and we were all in good spirits, tracking a herd of deer on the Sunday morning. This wasn't really a serious hunting trip, more like a chance to catch up. Everyone seemed to find crossing the rough, mountainous terrain exhilarating.

My dad went ahead with Uncle Emmett, followed by my mom and Aunt Rose. They could all outrun me. So could Jake, when he was in wolf form, but he stayed behind and kept pace with me. I liked to run with him, it felt very companionable, but I was sorry that – as a wolf – he couldn't talk to me.

We drove the deer forward for a few miles and then cut them off in a cluster of pine trees, by a rocky ledge. It was a large herd and no one went empty handed. When I had fed, I buried my deer's body and strolled to the very edge of the rock, overlooking a shallow gorge.

The clear mountain air gave good visibility and from my vantage point I could see for miles. The deep blue sky was dotted with the occasional wisp of cloud and the whole landscape was bathed in bright sunshine. Beyond where I stood, tall conifers grew from the rocky ground, stretching all the way to the shores of a distant, glimmering lake. I stood admiring the view until my attention was drawn by nearby footsteps.

Turning my eyes, I caught sight of Jake approaching. He had phased back to his human form and was wearing just a pair of shorts, in spite of the distinct chill in the air. He frowned, as he examined the palm of his hand.

"Jake, are you ok?"

He looked up. "No, I've got a thorn in my hand. I can't catch the end of it, to get it out."

"Come here; let me take a look."

He strolled over to where I was standing and I took his warm hand in mine. I turned his palm towards the light, so I could get a really good look at it. He gazed across the valley.

"This is a nice view." I was too busy examining his hand to bother answering.

"Geez Jake, this looks nasty." His hand was bleeding and red from a deeply imbedded thorn. "When did it happen?"

"I felt something go in, when I was running. But I didn't really notice it, until I phased just now."

"I can try to get it out, if you like?" My nails would probably be able to catch hold of the end.

"Sure, go ahead."

I leaned over his palm and he moved forward, to watch what I was doing. I was suddenly acutely aware of his close proximity. As usual, he smelled fantastic, and from the corner of my eye I could see his velvet skin glowing in the sunlight. I blinked, trying to focus on his hand. I caught the very top of the thorn and gingerly pulled it out.

"There you go." I said, looking up triumphantly.

"Thanks," Jacob smiled softly, his eyes catching my own. As he spoke, his countenance held a look of such warm affection, that I found myself unable to look away. I caught my breath and his expression changed, becoming speculative. There was some hidden emotion in his eyes that was unfamiliar to me.

"Jake, I…" _What?_ I had no idea what I wanted to say.

"Heads up!" Uncle Emmett's voice boomed out of the trees; followed by the carcass of a recently killed deer, which flew through the air towards us. Unfortunately for me, his joke was too well timed. I had been so absorbed in what I was doing, that I had no time to react to the object hurtling in my direction.

For the first time in my whole life, I was caught completely off guard. The deer struck, just as I turned, and knocked me clean over the edge of the cliff. I cursed as I felt its weight throw me backwards.

"_Nessie!"_ Jake tried to grab me, but only managed to catch hold of the offending deer.

The last words I heard, as I disappeared over the edge, were Uncle Emmett's surprised. "Where did she learn _that_ word?"

Next thing I knew, I was crashing into the canopy of trees below, breaking the layers of branches as I tumbled through.

"Argh!" It didn't really hurt, but I was caught by surprise.

I made a very poor showing of myself, plummeting down like a clumsy human. And I hoped that no one saw, when I entirely failed to grab onto the passing branches. In one final effort I reached out and caught hold of an offshoot of wood, sticking out of a tree trunk, about fifteen feet from the rocky ground. I swung there for a second and then let go, landing softly on my feet. At least I hadn't fallen on my butt. As it was, I was never going to live this down.

"Nessie?" My mom's anxious voice called over the treetops.

"I'm fine!" I answered quickly.

"Are you hurt?" This was Jake.

My dad broke in. "Do you need us to come down?"

"No, really," I tried to keep the petulance out of my voice. "I'm _fine_! I'll be up in a minute."

There was a silence, broken by Aunt Rose's angry voice. "Emmett, you idiot!" Followed by a loud _'thwack'_!

"I said it was a _joke!_" Then as an afterthought, Uncle Emmett called over the ledge. "Sorry, kid!"

I shook my head and started the steep climb back to the top. It was easy to find a path and I jogged up the craggy bank with ease. Jacob met me halfway up.

"Sorry, I should have caught you in time." He smiled ruefully.

I snorted dismissively. "I'm _never_ going to live this down. What was I thinking?"

At that moment, I remembered where my mind had been when Uncle Emmett caught me so hopelessly unawares. Suddenly, I didn't know quite where to look. I glanced down and began brushing off the bits of tree, which were still stuck to my clothes. We started walking back and I stole a sideways glance at Jake, he seemed to be lost in thought. Neither of us said anything until I broke the silence.

"How's the hand?"

He held it up; the mark was almost completely gone. "It's great. Thanks for the First Aid."

"No problem." I smiled stiffly, unable to think of anything else to say.

I was relieved to reach the family at the top; they distracted me from the uncomfortable feeling that lurked on the edge of my consciousness. The whole way home I had to listen to irritating comments, including a lecture from my dad on how ladies shouldn't use bad language and Uncle Emmett's constant jokes about how human I had really become.

It was a relief when I finally walked through Grandpa's door that evening.

Seth called from the living room. "Hey, Nessie. How was your weekend?"

"I fell off a cliff."

"Sounds familiar!" He murmured with a smirk.

I stomped off to my room without even bothering to ask what was so funny.

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	11. Nessie, christmas spirit

**Chapter 11. **

**Nessie – christmas spirit**

I was excited about Christmas Day. I had been very busy in the preceding month, filing in college applications and attending various Christmas events. So it was a relief when everything was sent off and school was finally out.

Best of all, the whole family was coming from New Hampshire to stay at the big house. Mom, Dad and I were going to be in the cottage together over the holidays. Grandpa, Sue and Seth had promised to come over for Christmas lunch and, of course, Jacob. Billy had arranged to spend the day with Rachel and Paul.

The only other person missing was Sue's daughter Leah, who was going to be staying in Seattle for Christmas. Although she was still technically in the pack, Leah had managed to gain enough control of her phasing to leave La Push and move to Seattle. Things seemed to be working out pretty well for her; she was working as a physical therapist and planned to spend Christmas with her new boyfriend. I think she was glad to avoid a house full of vampires on Christmas day.

Aunt Alice went wild with the decorations. She was clearly feeling extra festive because the whole family was together after so many weeks. Christmas lunch was a carefully planned buffet, to distract from the fact that only the guests were eating. The atmosphere was very relaxed and happy.

Eventually the shadows outside began to lengthen, and Grandpa and Sue decided that it was time to be making a move. The whole family wished them goodnight and a Merry Christmas. I promised Grandpa that I would come to see him the next day.

"Merry Christmas, sweetheart," he said, hugging me goodnight. "It's been good to have you here this year." I waved goodbye until their car had disappeared out of sight.

I was lolling on the sofa next to Jake, watching the end of 'It's a wonderful life', when I heard Uncle Emmett creep up behind us. I ignored him until I caught sight of the smirk on Uncle Jasper's face. Glancing behind me, I found Uncle Emmett lurking with his arm outstretched. In his hand he held a small sprig of mistletoe, which he was meaningfully dangling over Jacob and me.

"Come on Jake, you shouldn't keep her waiting any longer..!"

Jake – who had been completely oblivious of Uncle Emmett's machinations – looked up in confusion, just as I leapt away in disgust.

"No way!" I exclaimed, without thinking.

Uncle Emmett guffawed. "Sorry Jake, you missed your chance!"

Uncle Jasper chuckled and Jacob frowned irritably at Uncle Emmett. I just stood foolishly in the middle of the room, blushing with mortification. My eyes flew to Jake and I saw his face become purposefully wiped of expression. He always looked that way when he didn't want anyone to know what he was thinking.

"You're an idiot." I snapped at Uncle Emmett.

"Sorry kid," he joked, with his characteristic tactlessness. "I thought you might appreciate the intervention. After all, you're a _senior_ now…"

"Give her a break, Em," Uncle Jasper drawled casually from across the room. He must have realised that I was dangerously close to tears. An unexpected sense of calm washed over me and I huffed and returned to the sofa.

Uncle Emmett plonked himself down next to me and ruffled my hair affectionately. "I guess you inherited your dad's 'touchy' gene, huh?"

I pointedly ignored him.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Aunt Rose chose this opportune moment to enter the room and he fell quiet. The others started chatting inconsequentially about the day. I remained silent trying to recover from my embarrassment. I wanted to kick Uncle Emmett… and myself. I was angry that he had been able to get such an easy rise out of me. Jake had stayed calm, why hadn't I behaved more like that?

Worst of all, I had been betrayed into insulting Jake. I hadn't meant to sound as if the idea of kissing him was actually repulsive. But my rash words couldn't be taken back now. I hoped that he hadn't really noticed. I peeked at him and saw that he was listening silently to the others, his expression still guarded.

Seth and my dad came into the living room, followed by my mother. On catching sight of them, Jake became more talkative. I stayed silent for most of the evening, lost in contemplation. At one point I looked up to find my father's eyes upon me, his face speculative. I looked away quickly, wishing that I had inherited my mother's talent.

I tried to think of something else, but stubbornly returned to a new idea that had dawned upon me. The hopes that the pack held for us, had always been in the background of my relationship with Jacob. But he had never made any demands of me for the future. My family always meticulously avoided trying to force me to make decisions about Jake.

But Uncle Emmett's embarrassing joke brought to my attention, that members of my own family also had expectations for Jake and me. And the more I thought about it, the more I realised that a lot of people assumed that there was a romantic attachment between us. How many little comments had I endured from my school friends?

And what did Jacob think of this? I had taken for granted that we were both happy the way things were, but did he want more? In the last few months, I had found it hard enough just imagining myself with a boyfriend, but this idea was far more uncomfortable. No wonder I had carefully dodged considering it. How did he see me? He wasn't a kid, surely Jake wanted a girlfriend.

For the second time that evening, I found myself blushing. I wished that I could eradicate this new train of thought, but it was too late, the veil had been lifted. I stood up and quickly crossed over to the piano. I began playing quietly and my mind started to clear. When Jake finally got up to leave, I didn't follow him to the door. Instead, I waved goodbye from the piano. I didn't want to add any more fuel to Uncle Emmett's misplaced humour.

It was a strange thing about my new insight. However much I tried to ignore it, I couldn't. And it coloured everything. I found myself analysing the way that Jacob treated me and the way that other people saw us.

This was on my mind when I went to La Push on New Year's Eve. Jacob had invited me to join in the celebrations. I was the only member of the family exempt from the treaty. I had been looking forward to the evening, there were going to be driftwood bonfires on the beach. But as the day drew close, I found myself worrying. I didn't want to be treated to more Uncle Emmett style teasing.

On the day, Jake collected me from the big house. I was going to stay the night at La Push, he had promised to bring me home the next day.

It looked like a dry night, so for once I didn't have to bring a rain coat. The cold was never a problem for me, so I didn't bother with a jacket. I just wore jeans and a light grey sweater and Jake was in his usual t-shirt and shorts. Neither of us could have been accused of going to too much trouble with our attire.

He seemed so much his usual self when he arrived, that I felt guilty for having been worried and scolded myself for letting other people's assumptions get to me. Jake and I knew how things stood between us, who cared what anyone else thought?

It was already dark when we parked by First Beach and headed down the path to the sand. The beach looked more beautiful and mysterious than I had ever seen it, with a series of small fires burning the whole way along the shore. The sea was unusually calm, and a clear, starry sky hung overhead, lending a dreamlike quality to the night.

The beach was busy; most of the young people from the reservation were there, including both Sam and Jacob's packs. I was glad to see some familiar friendly faces. Jacob took my hand and led me along the sand to the more distant fires. I always liked holding his hand – everyone else felt slightly cold to me – Jacob was just the right temperature.

Jake's pack had gathered around one of most remote bonfires. I enjoyed the walk to reach them. Seth was the first to notice us.

"Hi, guys," he called, running up. "I was starting to wonder if you really were coming."

I hugged him and turned towards the fire. "I wouldn't miss this."

We followed him back and sat down to join the rest of the pack by the fire. The only notable absence was Leah, who had remained in Seattle. Quil had brought his girlfriend, Claire and Embry his wife. Or should I say their imprintees. The only person who had come alone was Seth. It suddenly occurred to me, that to an outsider, Jake and I would appear as a couple.

This thought did little to put me at my ease and when I sat down, I placed a little distance between us. We had all brought food and drinks. I didn't bother eating, but I noticed that the mood mellowed as everyone else snacked and joked. I wasn't in a particularly talkative mood; it was nice to just sit quietly and listen to the conversation flow around me. Jake was laughing with the others, but I noticed that he often glanced in my direction.

Quil and his girlfriend Claire sat across the fire from me. I liked Claire; she was a friendly, outspoken girl of nineteen. It was funny to watch her and Quil together. He was always so confident, but she gave him a run for his money. She was really quite bossy, but he didn't seem to mind at all. For Quil, Claire had been entirely worth the wait, they were so happy together.

Watching them made me feel slightly guilty. After all his devotion, Quil finally had his reward. My eyes flickered to Jacob, who was gazing into the fire with a thoughtful expression. Where was his happy ending? I didn't know if I had the answer to that question. I quickly looked away.

As the night wore on, my eyelids became heavy. The light of the bonfire and the quiet voices around me were slightly hypnotic; I felt as if I could drift off…

"Nessie, are you awake?"

I opened my eyes and found myself resting against Jake.

"Huh?"

He gave a low chuckle. "You've been asleep since last year."

I sat up and discovered that the fire had burned to glowing embers; the others were starting to get up and clear away their things.

"Sorry, I don't know what happened." I said, rubbing my eyes and stretching.

"It's ok, you looked so peaceful, I didn't want to wake you," he said fondly. He stood up and helped pull me to my feet. I gave a loud yawn and wobbled; I was still half asleep.

"Come here," Jake laughed. Before I realised what he was doing, he had caught my feet from under me and lifted me into his strong arms. "You can go back to sleep, now," he smiled.

I wanted to protest, but I was too sleepy. Instead, I laid my head against his warm shoulder and let my eyes close. I didn't properly wake again for the rest of the night. I remembered Jake laying me down on his bed and taking off my shoes. He then pulled a blanket over me.

"Goodnight, honey. Sleep well."

"Thanks, Jake. Love you." I mumbled.

"Love you, too." He left the room quietly.

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	12. Nessie, surfing

**Chapter 12. **

**Nessie – surfing**

When I started back at school, I noticed how often my friends mentioned Jake's name in automatic coupling with mine. It wasn't that anyone exactly called him my boyfriend, more that they acknowledged a link between us. How had I never noticed this before? No wonder no boy at school had _ever_ asked me on a date. It wasn't that I wanted them to, but they wouldn't have dared, even if I had! I must have been blind.

I became far more aware of how Jacob behaved towards me and I noticed another glaring fact. He had changed. Looking back over the last few months, I realised that something was missing from our old free and easy relationship. Jake had become cautious around me.

This was another bombshell. My secret fear had been that things would change between us. But I was a fool, change was happening under my very nose and I hadn't even noticed. The old Jacob was slipping away and I there wasn't a thing I could do about it. It made me feel resentful, why did he have to spoil everything?

I worried about it, but was unable to find a solution to the problem. I found myself going to the beach to surf more than usual. It was an easy way to clear my mind. I often went alone. It was cold weather and the beaches were frequently empty.

One Saturday morning I headed down to La Push, arriving just before dawn. I turned my eyes to the east; I wouldn't see the sun rise over the trees today. The low grey clouds were too thick. First Beach was deserted, but the forecast had been right, conditions looked good. I changed quickly into my wetsuit and I pulled my board from the roof of my car. I tied back my hair and carried my board down to the beach. A heavy salt spray was billowing off the sea. I couldn't hear much over the crashing waves.

I walked along the shore, my eyes scanning the horizon. The sun was coming; I could almost smell it. The driftwood on the beach became more visible every second. The sea still looked black. I took a deep breath and ran into the surf.

"Nessie!" I heard the call above the waves. Scanning the beach, I spotted Jacob. Seth must have told him I was coming down. I paddled swiftly to shore and met him on the sand. He took my board and slung it under his arm, putting the other arm over my shoulder, dwarfing me.

"How long were you out?" He asked casually.

"A couple of hours."

"See any sharks?"

"Yeah, I poked one in the eye!" I grinned and he squeezed my shoulder.

"Have you had enough for the day?"

"Sure."

We sat down on the sand. He didn't bother to ask if I was chilly; he knew I wasn't. My natural warmth was pretty useful, especially when the sea was so cold. I turned to him.

"So, when are you going to take me to see Rebecca?" Jacob's sister was married to a surfer and lived in Hawaii. I had secretly been dying to go there and surf. What better person to stay with than a local? And now I was out in the world, the trip finally seemed possible.

I glanced up, expecting to see him smiling approvingly. He wasn't. Instead he avoided catching my eye altogether. That was unusual in itself. I waited impatiently for him to look at me. When he didn't, I frowned, unsure what to say. Had I done something wrong?

"Jake, are you ok?"

"Sure, sure." He continued to look away.

"Is it something I said?" I felt uneasy and embarrassed.

He sighed and took my hand. "No, it's not your fault. I just don't like disappointing you."

"What do mean?" I bit my lip and turned my face towards the blustering wind. I wasn't entirely sure that I wanted to know, I tried to brace myself for a knock-back.

"I don't want to lie to you, but I don't know how to say this in way that won't upset you." He gave me an anxious smile. I didn't feel reassured and gazed at him with wide eyes.

"I don't think that it would be a good idea for you to stay with Rebecca." He spoke cautiously and I could detect an underlying concern.

"Why not?" I felt sick, as if I was failing a hidden test. What did his sister know about me, did she think badly of me?

"It's nothing personal," he added hurriedly, "it's just her two boys. I wouldn't want them to end up like me."

I was confused. "What do you mean?"

"You know that when vampires are around the wolf gene kicks into action." I nodded mechanically. "If they lived here, they would be the right age to join the pack. The only thing stopping it is the fact that they haven't had contact with a vampire…" He trailed off nervously. There was nothing else to say. He knew I could join up the rest of the dots.

My mind raced. I was an idiot not to have realised before. Maybe because no one had been unkind enough to point it out. They had always made me welcome, allowed me onto their land, but the naked truth stared me in the face. I finally saw myself as the pack saw me. I was part of the curse that rested on Jacob and his wolf family.

Somehow, it didn't make the pill less bitter because the first wolves had turned before I was born. Jake knew the danger that I represented, he knew it well enough to keep me away from his nephews. He didn't want me to infect them.

I sat for a moment, rejected, horrified and filled with self-loathing. I couldn't even bring myself to look at Jacob. I could feel his eyes upon me, unsure of my reaction. He put his hand lightly on my shoulder.

"Honey, are you ok?"

I jumped to my feet as if I had been electrocuted. My only thought was of escape. I was far too big a coward to continue this humiliating conversation. I couldn't bear seeing myself as I really was. My board lay forgotten on the sand as I started running up the beach.

"_Nessie, wait_..!" Jacob was on his feet in pursuit. He ran after me, but I knew that he wouldn't be able to catch me in human form.

I just kept running until I reached my car. I yanked the door open and jumped in, soaking the seat. I didn't look back as I hit the accelerator. I just wanted to get away as fast as I could. I knew I was being immature. I knew that I should be able to talk about this like a rational person. I knew that Jacob would never try to hurt me. I knew it, but I couldn't feel it.

I was almost at the border of the reservation when I found that my path was blocked by a huge red-brown woof. He stood in the middle of the road, staring at me. I stayed in the car and met his eyes. I shook my head slightly. I thought for a second that he was going to say where he was, but after a moment he stepped out of the way and let me drive on.

I don't think I registered a single thing about the drive home. I just sped along the road trying to put as much distance as possible between myself and the reservation. All the time I was trying to block out the picture of myself that Jake's words had revealed. I felt as if I was looking into a hideous distorted mirror.

I knew that my family weren't allowed on Quileute land, but I realised now that that rule should have applied to me too. My temptation for human blood was something that I had gained a strong control over as a child. It was something that I never even thought about, unlike my vampire family. But now I saw that my very existence was a threat to everyone there, even if my actions were harmless. The very air that I breathed could change them irreversibly.

I didn't know where to go. If I went home, then my father would know what had happened. I didn't want him to be angry with me or Jacob, and most of all I was too ashamed at the thought of him knowing. It was hardly logical. He already knew exactly how things were with the wolves, but somehow it would make my shame far more real, if we spoke about it.

I couldn't go to Grandpa's either, Seth was there. He might talk to Jacob and find out what had happened. Was there anywhere that I could go where I _wouldn't_ be mortified? And Seth was another victim of the wolf curse. That was what decided it; I wasn't able to look Seth in the face right now. I drove to the big house.

Thankfully, the house was empty when I arrived. Mom and Dad had gone hunting the day before and had not yet returned. I let myself in and went straight up to my room to hide. I heard them return and tried desperately to think of something else. I recited song lyrics for ten minutes, but memories of my disastrous morning kept popping into my head.

"Nessie, what's going on?" My mother gently opened the door to my room.

"What did Dad say?" I watched her warily. She sat down on the bed next to me.

"He didn't tell me, he just suggested that I talk to you." I had hand it to my dad, at least he wasn't a complete snitch. I deliberated for a moment and then put my hand to her face, showing her, and my father downstairs, the whole shameful episode. As soon as I had finished, I buried my tearful face in my pillow. She put out her hand and stroked my hair.

"I know that Jake would never hurt you on purpose."

I nodded, my face still hidden in the bedding. "I know. I'm not angry with him."

"Then what is it, sweetheart?" She was so sympathetic that I raised my head to look at her face. Her beautiful amber eyes were full of worry.

"It's me. There's something wrong with me and nothing that anyone says can change that."

"None of us think that. Jacob doesn't think that." She said earnestly.

"I think you're deluding yourselves." I turned my face away, to hide the tears that were streaming down my cheeks. "Please, I just need to be alone for a bit."

"Are you sure?" She hesitated.

"Please, Mom."

"If you need me, just call." She kissed my cheek left the room. I was sorry to see her go, but my thoughts were so painful and chaotic, I was relieved to be left on my own. I tried to block out the sound of my parents murmuring in the living room. I was there for about an hour when another sound reached me that was impossible to ignore.

I could recognise Jacob's car engine anywhere. I froze. I wasn't ready to see him. My mind raced. I listened as he pulled up and heard the sound of my surf board scraping as he lifted it off his car roof.

I heard my dad's quiet voice. "Hi Jake, how's it going?"

"I think you know," was Jacob's tense reply. He then added in a calmer tone. "Nessie left her board at the beach. I didn't want her to lose it."

"Thanks for bringing it back." I heard Jake pass him the surf board.

"Listen Edward, I really need to speak to her." I cringed at the hurt that filtered through his voice. But I couldn't bring myself to go downstairs and face him. _I can't, I can't_ the words screamed in my head. My father couldn't have escaped hearing me.

"I don't think she's ready to talk yet." He said, speaking as kindly as he could.

My mother interrupted him. "She's not angry, Jake, she's just confused." She sounded really upset. Listening to her unhappy voice, I chastised myself. I was a horrible person, putting all of them into this situation.

"I should never have said anything; I don't know what the hell I was thinking!" Jake sounded angry and regretful.

There was a thoughtful tone in my father's voice as he answered. "You had no choice; you have a duty to protect your family. It's not possible to shield Nessie from the truth; and even if you could, I don't think she'd want you to. Don't blame yourself for something that isn't your fault."

He's right, Jake. It is _my _fault.

"But I don't know for sure, maybe she wouldn't affect my nephews that way."

"Maybe not, but you would be foolish to take a gamble over such a serious thing."

There was a long silence. I held my breath, listening intently.

Finally Jacob sighed. "I didn't mean to hurt her. She must know that?" He sounded painfully unsure.

I covered my ears with my hands. I was such a coward. I wasn't sure how much more of this I could stand. Maybe I could escape out of the back door…

"Jacob," my dad's firm voice broke through my agonised internal monologue. "We know you care about Nessie. But the most helpful thing you could do right now is give her some space."

There was silence as Jacob considered my father's words. Then my dad spoke again, in answer to an unspoken request.

"Of course I will. Don't worry."

"Alright," Jake sounded resigned. "I'll see you guys soon."

I heard him climb into his car and my mother's pained voice.

"I'm sure it won't be long."

He didn't reply, maybe he couldn't. Right now, I wasn't sure that I wanted to know. I just buried myself under my pillow. I was in my room until the early afternoon. When I finally emerged – with dry, burning eyes – I found my mother in the living room, reading.

"Hi…" I paused in the doorway. "Sorry about earlier."

She looked up. "Are you ok?"

"Sure," I lied, badly. "How was Jake?"

"He seemed pretty upset." She caught my eye. "I think you should speak to him."

I ambled into the room, avoiding her gaze. "I know, I will. But…" _I'm a coward_.

"Don't leave it too long."

**Please review, it's lovely to hear what you think :)**


	13. Nessie, separation

**Chapter 13. **

**Nessie – separation**

"Jake!"

"Nessie, I'm sorry…"

"Can you come and meet me."

"Sure, where?"

"At the river." He knew where I meant, it was one of Grandpa's favourite fishing spots, Jake and I sometimes walked there.

"I'll be there in half an hour."

"Ok, see you soon."

My hand was shaking, as I hung up the phone. Thank goodness that Grandpa's house was empty. I didn't need anyone to see me looking like this. I actually felt sick. I sat down to steady my nerves, and within seconds, was back on my feet again.

My stomach was in such bad knots that – for the first time in my life – I seriously wondered if I was going to throw up. I pulled open the kitchen window and the gust of cold air, blowing into my face, seemed to help. Taking a few deep breaths, I locked the window and went out to my car. It was a short drive, so I was there well before Jake. I parked quickly and headed down to the river.

The wait was interminable; I couldn't stop myself pacing back and forth, along the river bank. I was relieved that Jacob only took twenty five minutes to arrive. My nerves couldn't have taken the tension for another second. I heard his car pull up and turned to watch his approach. As he walked towards me, I was struck by how serious his face looked. I guiltily wondered how much he had been worrying, since the day before. I kept my voice even as I greeted him.

"Hi, Jake." I didn't quite manage to make eye contact.

A fact that he clearly registered; he paused for a moment and then spoke cautiously.

"How are you?"

I answered truthfully. "Not so good, actually."

He took an involuntary step towards me and then stopped himself. "I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you…"

I looked up at his tortured face and shook my head.

"Don't… you don't owe me an apology, Jake. You were right. I knew that at the time..." I turned away from him and found myself scrutinising the opposite bank. He waited patiently for me to finish. "I shouldn't have behaved the way I did. It was childish and I'm sorry…" my voice was suspended by tears.

"Nessie… don't cry." Two strong arms reached out to comfort me, but I took a step back.

"It's no good, Jake." I looked straight into his dark eyes. "Can't you see?"

He frowned in confusion. "See what?"

"I didn't realise before, but now I know. You shouldn't be around someone like me." That was the truth.

"What do you mean, 'someone like you'?" In his frustration, he caught hold of my wrist. I was already perilously overwrought and the emotion in his voice unbalanced me.

"I mean someone who is _poisonous_!" I pushed him away. "See me as I really am, for once."

He answered me in shocked disbelief. "I _do_ see you."

"No you don't. If you did, you would understand that nothing can ever be right for you and me. Think about it… as long as I'm around, the children of your pack are cursed."

He shook his head, in wordless denial and I continued ruthlessly.

"My family won't be here forever, we'll move on. I know it's too late for you and your brothers, and I'm truly sorry for that; but don't you see?" I searched his eyes. "When we go, your children will be safe. They won't have to join the pack. If I stay here, with you, the circle will never be broken. I'm not aging. How many generations will I infect?"

"You shouldn't talk about yourself that way. You're wrong." I could hear that his hold on his emotions was as tenuous as mine.

"No, I'm not and you know it. I don't love anyone, the way I love you. But why do you think we aren't like Quil and Claire?" I questioned accusingly. "I can't feel _that_ way and yesterday I realised why. Because it's wrong, _we're _wrong."

I wanted to cut my tongue out before I hurt him this way, but in my heart I knew that there was no way to protect Jacob from the truth of my feelings. He stepped towards me and gripped my arms in an iron clasp.

"I know how you feel about me and I'm not asking for us to be like the others. You're my soul mate Nessie, the rest doesn't matter to me. Nothing has to change."

"You're lying to yourself," I said quietly. "If I was in love with you, we'd be just like them; you know we would. If you were given the choice, you'd want what they have."

I wanted to look away, but I couldn't. My eyes were locked on his face and I watched as the colour drained from his cheeks. He knew I was right, but he still tried to argue with me.

"I can live with what we have."

"But I can't." I gave him a pleading look. "What kind of person do you think I am? All these years I've depended on you, but everything's different now. We can't carry on as if nothing has changed, I would be using you, Jake. Taking and giving nothing back. I couldn't live with myself."

He shook his head, his expression unusually grim. "It wouldn't be like that. You already give me so much."

"But, not enough. I want you to have more; I want you to have everything."

His eyes burned into mine. "What about you, don't you have any hopes for the future?"

"Not those kind of hopes. It's different for you, you belong somewhere. You have a family and a tribe. Love, children; they are really possible for you. But, wherever I am, I'm always an outsider, because I'm not quite anything. I'd have to go into the heart of the Amazon to find someone as freakish as me. That's never going to change, so I don't expect to have those things. I'll never be right for anyone here…" my throat tightened.

"Nessie… don't say that," he was working to keep his voice calm, but I could feel the tell-tale tremors, where his hands held my arms. "You're right for _me_. I wouldn't have imprinted on you if you weren't."

"Maybe you were wrong."

This was probably not the most sensible thing to say, if I wanted him to calm down. He let me go and grasped his temples in an effort to stop the shaking. I couldn't remember ever seeing Jacob so close to losing control. This conversation was going even worse than I had anticipated. I took a step back and waited for him to gain command of himself. Within seconds, he was back in control. He faced me, with a new determination.

"I'm not wrong. Soul mates can't be wrong."

"I'm not so sure." I lifted my chin, stubbornly. "If we are soul mates, why do I feel this way?"

"Because, you're too young to know what it really means."

My eyes flashed, "I may be young, but I know my own heart and I care enough to be honest. I would rather live without you, than continue using you."

He stared at me, with a shocked expression. "You don't mean that… you _can't_."

"Yes, I do." I took a steadying breath. "I think that we should stay away from each other, from now on." I didn't look up to watch his reaction.

"You must be joking." He gasped.

"You know I'm not."

There was a such a long silence that I was forced to look up. Jacob's face was fierce and his eyes black as they met mine.

"You would give up everything we have? Don't you know how lucky we are?"

"I don't feel I have a choice anymore."

"You don't know what you're doing. You're throwing away happiness with both hands; not just mine, but your own as well. Nessie _don't_…"

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"There's no need to decide anything right now, you're still so young."

I couldn't answer him. My mind was already made up and there was no going back. I turned, to walk away. He caught my arm in surprise.

"You're going _now_!"

"What else can I do?"

"Anything but this…" He exclaimed in astonishment. I gently took his hand, my eyes filling with tears.

"No, it has to be this way." Catching my arm around his neck, I pressed my cheek against his chest. "Please, let me go." I sobbed.

He put his warm arm around me and held me tightly. For a moment, I thought that he was going to try to stop me leaving, but I was wrong. He relaxed his arm and turned his face away from mine.

"Goodbye, Jacob."

He said nothing, as I let go of his hand and sprinted up the river bank.

It was a miracle that I made it back to Grandpa's house without crashing. I really couldn't see anything; my vision was so clouded with tears. The house was still empty when I arrived, a fact for which I could only be grateful. I lay in my room and cried uncontrollably for an hour.

But, the storm of tears was short lived, when it had passed, I fell silent. I suddenly felt ashamed. I had chosen to cut Jake out of my life; I didn't have the right to my tears. I wasn't the victim, I was the perpetrator. Well, I wouldn't cry again, not if I could help it.

Somewhere in my chest, I felt a dull ache. I shifted on my bed, but it didn't make any difference. The ache was still there. And then I realised; this was the alternative to tears. This was what happened, when I held the misery inside. At least this didn't show on my face, which made it the preferable choice. No one else would know whether or not I was actually happy.

**Author's note: **

**I just wanted to send a big 'thank you' to everyone who has reviewed (especially those reviewers who don't have contact details to thank personally). Also to anyone who has added this story to their alert or favourite lists. I really appreciate all the fantastic feedback, so thanks guys, you're the best! **

**I will be posting another chapter very soon...**

**Please carry on reviewing, I really enjoy hearing what you have to say, Mad :)**


	14. Nessie, the pact

**Chapter 14. **

**Nessie – the pact**

I had pulled myself together by the time that Grandpa and Sue arrived home. I lurked in the living room until dinner time, pretending to watch TV, crushing all the memories of the afternoon to the back of my mind. The result was an aching blankness.

I don't think I'd ever invested more effort in forcing down human food than I did that evening. I was halfway through the meal when Seth arrived home. One look at his face, as he walked through the kitchen door, told me that he knew _everything_. That was the final straw, there was no way I could eat another bite. I put down my fork and said quietly.

"Can I be excused?"

Sue shot me a penetrating look, but said kindly. "Of course you can."

"Sweetheart, are you ok?" Grandpa sounded surprised.

"I just need to lie down, I'll be fine." I quickly got up from the table and hurried to my room. It was completely quiet in the kitchen, until Grandpa spoke.

"Do you think she's sick?" He sounded worried; I had never had a day's ill health in my life.

"I don't know. She didn't look herself." Sue's voice was unsure.

"Do you think we should call Bella?" That was exactly what I didn't want. Luckily Seth seemed to read my mind.

"I wouldn't call just yet. Let me talk to her."

"You're probably right; I wouldn't want to worry Bella for nothing."

I heard Seth's feet padding up the stairs and a soft knock on the door.

"Nessie, can I come in?"

I let him in. He came into the room and sat on my desk, his face full of sympathy.

"Are you alright?"

Closing the door, I whispered earnestly. "How's Jake?"

Seth's expression instantly became wary. "He's ok."

My eyes narrowed. "Did he tell you to say that?"

"Jacob's tough, he'll be fine." I noticed that Seth carefully avoided answering my question. "He's just worried about you."

Two could play at that game. I lifted my chin proudly. "He doesn't need to worry. I'm fine. But you should probably go and get some dinner."

"Oh… ok." Seth stood up looking slightly uncomfortable. "You know where I am if you need me, right?"

"Yeah, thanks Seth." I gave a half smile. "Tell Grandpa I'm just tired, I don't want him to worry."

He nodded and left me to my own thoughts. This was only the beginning; it was only a matter of time before everyone found out that Jacob and I were avoiding each other. I groaned internally as I thought of all the explanations that I would have to give. The only person who would be pleased was Aunt Rose.

I imagined the disapproval of my parents and Grandpa. What would they say? No doubt they would blame me; of course, they would be right. Worse than that, I pictured the curiosity of my friends. I gritted my teeth at the thought and made a pact with myself.

I may not be able to keep our estrangement a secret, but I was not going to discuss my feelings on the subject. I would never ask Seth how Jake was again; I would not mention his name to anyone. The bitter ache in my heart throbbed silently.

Telling my parents was the thing I dreaded the most. It was probably good that I couldn't put it off for long. They arrived at the house later that evening and I heard Grandpa saying quietly.

"Nessie doesn't seem to be feeling well, she's in her room."

_I said I was 'tired'. Damn it_!

"Maybe she's just tired," was my father's reply. Ha ha, very funny Dad! "I'll just check on her."

He came into my room a moment later. I didn't have to say anything, the memories of my afternoon radiated from me. I met his gaze, preparing myself for an argument. He closed the door and turned to me.

"So you think this is the right thing to do?" At least Dad didn't sound accusing.

"Yes." I said quietly

"You're just going to let Jacob go?" He sounded sceptical.

My eyes met his defiantly. _Do I have a choice?_

"At the moment, yes. But maybe not forever." Great, he was in a cryptic mood.

I didn't want to ask, but my curiosity got the better of me. _What do you mean?_

"If you're going to change your mind, just don't leave it too late. Jake won't hang around forever."

"I don't want him to!" I snapped with a scowl.

Dad pretended not to notice that I was angry with him. He patted my shoulder and said bracingly. "Don't worry, you'll be fine. So will Jacob." I swallowed the lump that came into my throat and nodded, as he went on. "You probably know what you're doing."

"Shall I tell Mom now?"

"It's ok; doubtless she heard everything from downstairs and worked it out already." He said cheerfully. Didn't he _care_? He leaned over and kissed my head.

"Don't worry sweetheart. Now, I'd better go downstairs and say hello to Sue." With these words he was gone and I was left feeling more confused than ever.

* * *

**Author's note: **

**Just wanted to say 'thanks' to those people who added this story to their alerts and favourite lists and to the reviewers. Thanks guys, I love the feedback, it makes all the difference, so please keep it coming... Mad :)**


	15. Bella, helpless

**Chapter 15. **

**Bella – helpless**

I thought I'd understood all the anxiety that I had caused Charlie, in the early years of my relationship with Edward. When the trouble started between Nessie and Jake, I discovered that I was wrong. It's a strange thing to watch your child in a state of misery and feel absolutely helpless to do anything about it. I actually felt tempted to take my dad aside and apologise for all the worry I had given him in the past.

I couldn't describe how sorry I felt, when I heard what had happened. Edward told me that it had been building for a long time, but it still came as a shock to me. Her reaction to pain was different to my own. Where I would go into myself, she became more pointedly social.

Nessie never seemed to spend a moment alone. Having such a wide circle of friends, she was never short of company. She was always laughing and joking, but there was a restlessness lurking beneath the surface, and I noticed that she never wanted to have a proper conversation or talk about anything serious.

I did not believe the charade for a moment. I knew that she was miserable, but she stubbornly refused to confide in anyone, choosing to carry her burden alone. I wanted to help her, but I couldn't see how. I hoped that Edward's unique insight might offer me some solution. I took the opportunity to pick his brains when we were sitting on the front steps one evening.

"Nessie seems very unhappy. Isn't there anything that we can do?"

He sighed and shook his head. "She's so stubborn. Like you." He added ruefully. "I'm not sure we really can help right now. I've been expecting something like this for a while. You must have seen how things were changing between them."

"Did Jacob say something to her?" I asked accusingly.

"No, he's been very restrained. He's in love with her; he has been for a while. She's been sending him very mixed messages. I would say that this is coming straight from her and – to be honest – high school influences."

"What do you mean?" I wondered what on earth her friends had been saying.

"You know how seniors can be. She hadn't even thought about romantic relationships or boyfriends and suddenly she was thrown into a pit of hormonal teenagers."

I instantly felt guilty that I hadn't paid more attention; maybe obliviousness was an occupational hazard of parenting. Just look at my dad, he still didn't officially know that I was a vampire. Still, I should have noticed that things had become so difficult for her. I suppose I had become complacent because she usually managed her relationships so skilfully.

"So, what was the problem with Jacob?"

"Her attitudes started changing and it interfered with her perception of him. She has always seen him as an indulgent big brother. Jacob was very at ease with that role, too. Suddenly he was brought to her attention as a possible romantic interest – thanks to Emmett and some of her friends," he added, irritably. "And she found it an uncomfortable idea. It was never going to be easy for her to let go of her established view of him.

"Trust me; I've heard enough to know that most teenage girls go through phases before finding a boyfriend. The first stage is obsessing about someone completely unattainable – and therefore harmless – like a young Hollywood star. This usually kicks in at the age of about thirteen.

"The next phase is obsessing about a boy that they actually know – or have at least seen once or twice – who will probably be some non-threatening, pretty-boy. The chances are that they will hardly speak to this person, let alone date them! Again, this is very non-scary."

"Just like you!" I interrupted. Edward smirked and continued with his analysis of teenage behaviour.

"Anyway, eventually they will mature enough to start dating and having proper relationships."

"But Nessie hasn't gone through any phases."

"Exactly!" He said with emphasis. "She has been presented with the most intimidating option first."

"Jake would never do anything to scare her." I said defensively.

Edward sighed at my slowness. "Yes, I know. But he's too real. He's too Alpha – quite literally in his case. He's not a child, he's a grown man and she simply isn't ready to deal with that. No wonder she found a very plausible reason for staying away from him."

"Do you think that she was just making excuses?" I didn't like to imagine Nessie being deceitful to Jacob.

"No, she convinced herself that it was true. She was genuinely hurt by Jake's refusal to take her to Hawaii. I know that in spite of her popularity, she also feels like a bit of an outsider, but it all got mixed up in the crisis that was already brewing. I'm sure that this would have happened anyway."

I had to admit that Edward was quite persuasive, but I still wasn't sure how that helped the present situation.

"So what do you think is going to happen?"

"Well, it could be that Nessie and Jake will get over each other, which seems unlikely on her part and impossible on his. Or she will finally start to realise what he really means to her, which seems to me to be the more probable outcome."

"You're taking this all very coolly." I grumbled. He put his arm around my shoulders and hugged me.

"No, I'm not really; though I'm trying to play the whole thing down to Nessie. It doesn't make me happy to see either of them suffer, but I do think that sometimes you have to let other people make their own mistakes. How else is she going to learn? Just look at all the stupid decisions my family has had to watch me make," he added ruefully.

"Isn't there something you could say? She might listen to you."

"The way I listened to my family, when they told me not to leave you?"

"Good point." I couldn't smile at that awful memory, I just leaned my head on his shoulder. "So, you don't think that this will be the end for them?"

"No, I don't. I don't think that Nessie _could_ let Jacob go, even if she doesn't know it yet."

I sighed with relief. Intuitively, I had felt the same thing, but it was nice to hear it from someone else. Another thought struck me and my face fell.

"What about Jake? He must be so hurt."

Edward frowned thoughtfully. "I doubt he's very happy right now, but his case isn't hopeless and he knows it. He's mature enough to understand how confused she is. He's shown the right instincts in doing what she wants and leaving her alone. It would be a bad idea to crowd her right now. Jacob's no fool. He's not going to fall apart, if that's what you're worried about."

I must admit, the idea had crossed my mind. "So, he'll be ok?"

"Yes, I think so. You never know, it might even work to his advantage in the long run." Edward smiled to himself.

I shot him a suspicious look. "What do you mean?"

"Well, it has to be said, Nessie does take Jacob for granted. I don't think she even realises, how much she relies on him. Maybe she'll start appreciating him a little more. Remember, 'absence makes the heart grow fonder.'"

In my heart, I believed that Edward was right, so I was surprised how long their estrangement continued. I hoped that the whole thing would blow over in a week, or two, but I was disappointed. Every day, my daughter became more miserable, but there seemed to be no reconciliation in sight.

She had inherited my stubborn streak as well as Edward's propensity for self-punishment. I felt that inexperience and pride were partly to blame for her behaviour. She had decided that she was no good for Jake and had blown the whole situation wildly out of proportion. But in the meantime, she was unhappy and I had to witness her daily struggle to convince us of the opposite.

* * *

**Please review, it's always lovely to hear what you think :)**


	16. Nessie, pride

**Chapter 16. **

**Nessie – pride**

I kept my secret bargain. It was harder than I would have expected, but my pride was a strong ally. If I was seen to be pining for Jacob, it would only fuel speculation. I knew that as long as I appeared unaffected, there would be less for anyone to say. I couldn't bear the thought of other people's comments. Most of all, I didn't want anyone gossiping about Jake. That thought caused me physical pain, somewhere deep in my chest.

So, I carried on as usual; going to school, studying and socialising. Somewhere underneath, I was surprised to discover what a gaping hole Jacob's absence actually left in my life. I had always known he was important, I was happy when he was around, but now I realised just how heavily I had relied on his presence. He was the foundation that supported everything else in my life.

There was nothing I could do; it was futile to call him back. I had nothing to offer and he deserved better. Instead, I tried to rebuild my life – without Jacob in it – filling the vast empty space as best I could. I hated to be alone, because it reminded me how lonely I was without him, so I made sure that I never was.

Somehow, when I was surrounded by my friends, it was easier to forget that the most important person was missing. The hardest part of the day was always in the late evening, when my mom and dad were visiting. After a long day of 'being cheerful', it was especially gruelling to have to keep up appearances for them.

I knew that they weren't really convinced and somehow that made the whole thing worse. They went along with the charade for my sake. It was hideous; I wanted to tell them that I was miserable. But I felt that if I said the words out loud, it would make them truer, so I just pretended to be happy.

Most of my school friends quickly accepted Jacob's absence. The only people who I don't think I entirely fooled were Kristy, Jason and Oliver. They were too kind to question me very profoundly, but I caught all of them watching me, at different times, with concerned eyes.

One of my worst moments was at school, in a Games Club meeting. Probably because I was happier there than anywhere else, I was caught completely off guard.

We were all sitting around the table; Zack and Oliver were arguing over a point of play and the rest of us were relaxing and only half listening. I was working on a poetic saga – which described Neoin's heroic exploits – in the elvish language. Richard, who was next to me, suddenly pulled his art folder from his bag.

"Nessie, I brought something for you." He said quietly, opening the folder.

I leaned forward with interest. He hesitantly pulled out a picture and handed it to me. I took the picture and gasped. It was a lovely line drawing of my character. He had even titled the picture 'Neoin'. She looked like me, but with pointy ears!

"Oh Richard, it's beautiful. Thank you…"I felt tears spring to my eyes.

He went red and stammered. "I'd been meaning to finish it for ages, but somehow I got side tracked."

The rest of the Club had lost interest in Zack and Oliver's dispute, including Zack and Oliver. Instead they crowded around to look at Richard's picture and pass comment.

"Wow. That's really good."

"When are you going to do _my_ character?"

"It looks just like you, Nessie!"

Richard passed me an envelope for the drawing. "Here, you can take it home in this."

"I'm definitely going to frame this," I smiled gratefully at him.

I slipped the picture into the envelope and from the corner of my eye I caught sight of another drawing, sticking out of his folder. This picture was familiar to me – I had seen it at my first meeting – it was Richard's wereboar.

The memory of sitting and joking with Seth and Jacob, in Grandpa's living room, came crashing into my mind. It had been my first week of school, only a few short months ago. But at that moment, I felt as if I was looking back on another age. Nothing could have so clearly highlighted how much everything had changed, how much I had changed.

I could put on a good show, but I knew better than anyone the difference between that cheerful, confident girl and the person I had become; so unhappy and full of doubt. I put my hands to my forehead and closed my eyes, trying to block out the memory.

I heard Richard's nervous enquiry. "Nessie, are you alright?"

I opened my eyes and smiled. "I'm fine; I've just got a slight headache." This was a convincingly human excuse. Everyone else accepted my lie unquestioningly, but I noticed Oliver watching me with worry on his amiable face.

Whatever despondency I suffered, the one thing that troubled me more was my anxiety for Jacob. I would toss and turn at night, hoping that he wasn't missing me. I couldn't bear to think that he might be unhappy too. It was lucky that interrupted sleep didn't show on my face.

It was an added complication living with a member of Jake's pack. I saw Seth all the time and he never mentioned Jake to me. I had to make do with his passing comments to Charlie and Sue, and they gave me no idea how Jacob was doing. It was infuriating; I almost cracked and asked him if Jake was ok, but my pride sealed my lips.

And worst of all, I could smell when Seth had seen him. One of my favourite things about Jake was his scent; a lovely woodsy aroma. I had to endure this – most personal reminder – on a regular basis. It was almost as if Jake's spirit had slipped into the house to torment me. Maybe I would have given in and tried to find out if he was alright, but for a new development.

All the time, I had been worrying that he was unhappy and missing me, but I suddenly had an indication my fears couldn't have been further from the truth. This knowledge came to me with the arrival of a new face at La Push.

I was at home one Saturday evening, helping Sue lay the table for dinner, when the phone rang. I answered it.

"Hello."

"Hi, it's Seth."

"Hi, are you coming home for dinner?"

He paused, thinking for a second. "Yeah, I was wondering if you could set another place."

"Sure, who's coming?" I asked casually.

"Embry's cousin, Marie."

"No problem, I'll let Sue know."

It was lucky that Sue always cooked wolf sized portions, so there would be plenty of food for the visitor. I passed on the news and finished with the table.

Just before dinner was ready, I heard Seth come into the house and I heard the soft voice of his guest. Grandpa, Sue and I exchanged curious glances as Seth led her into the kitchen.

He smiled as he said. "Everyone, this is Marie."

Then he introduced each of us and I had a chance to observe the stranger. The first thing that hit me was that she was very beautiful; tall and slender, with straight, black hair sweeping right down to her waist. Her skin was silky and tanned, and her almond shaped eyes were a rich brown.

The second thing that struck me about her was that she _reeked_ of Jacob. She smiled briefly at me, flashing her perfect white teeth. And – for the first time in my whole life – I felt the blazing flames of thirst raging, uncontrollably, in my throat. Instinctively, my muscles tensed to strike.

Luckily, Marie had already turned away from me, to speak to Grandpa, and no one else was facing my way. Otherwise, I can't imagine what they would have thought, if they had seen the murderous expression on my face. I was frozen where I stood, reeling with shock. Using superhuman self-control, I stayed where I was and managed to fight back my almost overwhelming desire to slaughter the girl, there and then.

No one even noticed me; they were too interested in our guest. Somehow, I forced myself to leave the room. Once I was in the hall, I flew upstairs to my room. I slammed the door behind me and pressed my body against it, desperate to put something between myself and the girl downstairs. My head was spinning, what was going on? I took several deep breaths and tried to work out what on earth had happened! Was I losing my mind?

As a child, I had fed on donated human blood. I had felt a little thirsty when I had first been introduced to normal people, but nothing like this. I had never felt really tempted before. I sat on the edge of my bed, shaking. I went over my reaction to Marie in my head. Had her blood actually been that desirable?

I thought about it and realised that I had hardly noticed her scent. It certainly wasn't particularly appealing to me. There were plenty of kids at school, whose blood smelt much better, and I never wanted to crush their throats between my teeth. But there was no doubt that killing her had been at the forefront of my mind for one shocking moment. I remembered the intense rage that had filled my head when we met. I had felt as if she was taunting me; smelling of Jake and smiling.

"Nessie, are you coming?" Sue called up the stairs, interrupting my thoughts.

"I'll be right down." I answered mechanically.

I had to pull myself together. Thinking about what had triggered the thirst, I realised that it had been some weird stress reaction to Jacob, not the girl. I took another breath, this time of relief. I was now fairly sure that I could control myself around Marie; I knew that her blood didn't attract me. I had been caught by surprise; that was all.

I walked slowly downstairs, carefully tasting the air. No, there really was nothing to tempt me. Everyone was ready to start, when I entered the kitchen.

"Sorry, I was checking my cell phone." I apologised.

"Nessie is never away from her phone for more than five minutes." Grandpa enlightened our guest. I smiled feebly and Grandpa turned to me. "Marie was just telling us that she's moved to La Push. She came from the Makah reservation."

"Oh, really? When did you arrive?" I tried to sound civil – at least the interest in my voice was genuine.

"Last week," she explained. "I've come to live with my mother's sister. You might know her son, my cousin Embry."

"Yes, I do." I nodded and tried to make polite conversation, wishing that the excess of saliva in my mouth wasn't an indicator that I still might kill our guest. "How are you finding La Push?"

"It's great. Everyone's been really nice, especially Embry and all of his friends." Yes, I could _smell _that.

"How nice for you." Did my tone sound sarcastic? I wondered, because Seth chose this moment to join in the conversation.

"We've all been trying to show her around."

Sue smiled approvingly and Grandpa nodded. "That's good."

_How about showing her the door?_ Wow, since when had I become such a bitch!

"Jacob Black took me on a tour today. Do you know him?"

Grandpa nodded, without catching my eye. "Sure. His dad, Billy, is one of my best friends."

She brushed her luxuriant hair away from her face and flashed her smile again. "He's so nice. He gave up his whole afternoon to show me around."

"He's a great guy," agreed Grandpa.

"He said he'd take me to the beach tomorrow, if it's dry," added Marie, complacently.

My throat burned and I swallowed half a glass of water. Seth threw an uneasy glance in my direction and I ignored him.

The conversation turned to another topic and I was left analysing Marie's words. In some ways it helped to have a rational explanation for Jake's scent. He was doing his duty, as pack leader, in making the effort to welcome Embry's cousin to the reservation. On the other hand, I wondered if he was going beyond what etiquette required. Exactly how many days did Jacob need to spend with Marie?

My throat still burned.

I was relieved that my parents were away hunting. My feelings that evening had been too horrifying. I wasn't quite ready to tell them that I had wanted to murder our dinner guest. Instead, I gratefully retreated to my room, after Seth had driven Marie home. I lay awake for hours, trying to understand what was happening to me.

I may have maintained some control, but I could not ignore the fact that a terrible monster had roared within me. What a cruel irony; after all my attempts to become human, all I had discovered was my inner demon. It was a conformation of everything I had said to Jacob. This knowledge filled me with an increased sense of hopelessness.

And what about Jake? By about three in the morning, I had come to the conclusion that he had every right to move on. I wasn't in love with him and it was what I wanted him to do. I had _told_ him to. I also had to admit to myself, that a girl like Marie would be better for him than me – tonight's events had proved that - maybe she could give him all the things that I couldn't.

By morning I had accepted that I was just a dog in the manger, and felt a stronger determination not to interfere with his happiness. But I still remained shaken by my unexpected bloodlust. I really needed to talk to someone. My dad seemed like the obvious choice, he had a much darker past than my mom. I picked up my phone and dialled.

"Hello?" The reception wasn't great. They must be in the mountains.

"Hey Dad, it's me."

"Hi, sweetheart. How are things?"

Well, I wanted to kill an innocent girl last night. "Um… fine."

"Are you alright?" He sounded suspicious.

"Yeah, I'm great," I said, chickening out. "I just wondered if you were coming home on Monday or Tuesday."

"Tuesday, I think. We can come back sooner, if you like."

"No, there's no hurry. Take your time," I reassured him.

"Alright… you're breaking up, I'll call you later."

"Bye." The line went dead.

That went well.

I sighed and meandered downstairs to find Seth, lounging in the living room, watching Sunday morning cartoons. I slumped down on the sofa next to him and leaned against his shoulder.

"Hey, Nessie."

"Hey," I replied apathetically.

We sat watching the TV for a while, and I tried to muster the nerve to question Seth about his inner monster. After all, he must have experienced bloodlust at some point, and he was still a good person.

"Seth." I said cautiously.

"Yes." He was only half-listening.

"Do you ever feel predatory towards humans, you know, when you're a wolf?"

I had his attention now! He spun his head to stare at me. His shocked expression told me all I needed to know.

"No! We're protectors, not killers." He answered indignantly. He then shot me a suspicious look. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason," I said casually. "Just curious, I guess."

I could tell, by his worried face, that he thought I was crazy. I didn't want to disillusion him; in truth I was something much worse.

* * *

**Thanks for the great reviews. I'm always really interested to read what everyone thinks about this story, so please let me know, **

**Mad :) **


	17. Nessie, running

**Chapter 17. **

**Nessie – running**

Spring break finally arrived. I was glad I would be staying with my parents for a week; I wanted to get away from Forks, go hunting on Saturday with my family and relax. The last two months had been tough. I liked living with Grandpa and going to school, but I needed a breather.

The ache in my heart gave me a constant feeling of restlessness. It had got worse since Marie had appeared on the scene. Unfortunately, she had become friendly with Seth, so I had to put up with her frequent presence at Grandpa's house.

I could control my more ferocious instincts more easily now, but I still found being around her difficult. It was clear from her conversation that she spent a good deal of time with Jake. I regularly had to remind myself that I wanted what was best for him, but sometimes it was difficult to remember.

Like, for instance, when I had to listen to Grandpa's speculations on the subject. It was unlucky for me, that both he and Sue had taken a real liking to Marie.

"Marie's a nice girl." He said one evening to Seth, while we were all in the kitchen. I was washing the dishes and Sue was drying them.

Seth nodded. "Yeah, she's really sweet."

"How old is she?" Grandpa asked curiously.

"I think about twenty four."

"Hm…" He was mulling over an idea. "She'd make a good match for Jacob, don't you think?"

For a second, the faucets were in serious danger of being torn from the kitchen sink. I clenched my teeth and glanced at Sue, who was frowning at Grandpa. Seth nodded vaguely, Grandpa carried on completely oblivious of the sudden tension.

"He's a good looking guy, she could do a lot worse… I can't believe he's stayed single so long."

Yes, this was the sort of conversation that I could happily live without.

The restless feeling was still lurking when I arrived at the big house on the Friday afternoon. I turned my Audi into the garage and found my dad working with his Aston Martin.

I slammed my door. "Hey, Dad."

"Hi," he said from under the car.

"Where's Mom?" I noticed that her car was missing.

"You missed her; she went to pick up a few things in Port Angeles."

I shrugged. "That's ok. I was going to go for a run anyway. I need the exercise; gym class just doesn't cut it."

My dad snorted. "Tell me about it! Just don't ever say that to Emmett, gym lessons are his pet hate."

I strolled over to where he was working and leaned on the door, by his feet. "Too late, he ranted about it for twenty minutes last time we talked."

"Sorry, I should have warned you earlier."

"It was alright; Aunt Rose grabbed the phone off him."

"She has her uses!"

I turned to leave, "I might go hunting too, if the mood takes me."

"I thought we were all going tomorrow."

_I still want to, but I could do with something that doesn't taste like school food before then_.

"I don't blame you," he shuddered.

I left the garage and ran straight to my room. I threw on a dark blue jogging suit and my running shoes. It was starting to drizzle outside, so I tied my hair into a pony tail and pulled up my hood, before leaving the house.

I started jogging towards the National Park, picking up the pace after a few miles. I followed a trail that Jacob and I used to take, when we hunted together. I relaxed into my stride, letting the rain soak my face and slowly saturate my clothes. Mile upon mile disappeared behind me, as I glided past the mossy undergrowth. My light steps barely touched the ground. My heart beat evenly, reflecting the calm that was spreading through me.

I let my mind drift, I wasn't hunting, I wasn't thinking, all the worries that had been plaguing me seemed to lessen with every footstep. My problems felt as if they had drifted away and a surge of exhilaration coursed through my body. I was still comfortably warm, in spite of the mist of cold rain. I ran further than I had planned, and when I reached the spot where I would normally have circled around and headed for home, I carried on without slowing.

The heavy rainclouds hid the sunset from me, I hardly noticed that dusk had fallen, until I realised that I was running in the dark. I slowed to a stop, looking around me. How long had I been going? I glanced up at the brooding clouds; the moon should have risen by now, but would remain unseen.

I looked at my watch and was surprised by the time. I turned guiltily, to retrace my steps. I shouldn't have come so far, my parents would be wondering where I was. I didn't want to worry them. Reaching into my pocket for my phone, I remembered that I had left it in my car. Damn!

I quickly started back towards home, trying not to imagine the lecture that would be delivered to me upon my arrival. I was making pretty good time, the darkness didn't affect my eyesight and I could still see clearly through the trees. I had followed my previous trail a few miles, when I hit a fresh trail of scent.

I had never encountered anything like it before. It was so pungent that I skidded to a stop; a disgustingly musty smell, with an acrid overtone that made my nose burn. My senses kicked into overdrive; my nostrils flared and my eyes scanned the undergrowth. All my instincts told me, that whoever was out there was dangerous. I listened intently, but there was no sound. I wished more than ever for my phone. I was all alone and there was no way to call for help.

The hairs on the back of my neck, started to stand up. My mind raced; who was there? I stayed completely still; undecided whether or not to make a run for it, I didn't want to fight this stranger, there was no guarantee I could win. Whoever it was, they had crossed my trail and knew that I was in the forest; my only hope was that I wasn't already being tracked.

I waited for an interminable minute, listening, and that was when I heard the sound of heavy breathing and a strong heartbeat.

* * *

**Just a quick note to say thank you for all the fantastic comments, they have really been a pleasure to read! A special thanks to anyone who I can't send a PM to, I've been very interested in what you've had to say.**

**I love knowing what you are thinking, so please carry on reviewing, it makes all the difference :) Mad**


	18. Bella, the chase

**Chapter 18. **

**Bella – the chase**

My drive to Port Angeles was fairly successful; I picked up the things I wanted for Esme and Alice. And it gave me a chance to think about the situation between Jacob and Nessie. I couldn't believe how long it had lasted. I was starting to doubt Edward's initial analysis; maybe it really was over for them. Even he admitted that Nessie was holding out longer than he expected.

I pulled into the lofty garage, relieved for my shopping trip to be over. I was glad that Nessie would be with us tonight. I missed having her sleep under our roof. I loved being with Edward, but the house was so large it always felt a little empty with just us there. There was always a special atmosphere in the house when the whole family was home, as if it was happy to be full and lived in.

I smiled at this sentimental thought and got out of the car. Edward was clearing up his tools and turned to greet me, with a smile.

"Get what you wanted?"

"I got what I wanted, whether it's what _they_ want is another matter," I grinned. "Are you nearly finished?"

"Almost," he replied absently, adding as I was leaving the garage. "By the way, Nessie went out, she might be a while."

"I said I wanted her to help wrap these presents. Didn't you remind her?" I snapped. Edward looked up with a blank face. He clearly hadn't paid attention to that particular conversation. I huffed and went into the house.

Nessie hadn't returned half an hour later, when I heard the sound of a car coming up the drive. I looked out of the window and was surprised to see Jake outside the house. It was the first time he had been over in weeks. I was so eager to see him; I had the front door open before he had reached the top step.

"Jake!" I reached out and hugged him, pulling him into the hallway.

"Hey, Bells." He sounded subdued and I looked up at his face. He met my eyes with a guarded expression; it wasn't difficult to see that he was unhappy.

"How are you?" I asked sympathetically. He didn't answer me; instead he lifted his head and breathed in, tasting the air. I understood what had distracted him, when he asked.

"Is Nessie here? I thought she would be at Charlie's." He sounded as if he regretted coming.

"She's staying here this weekend, but don't worry," I reassured him. "She's out right now."

He sighed with relief, but I thought I saw a fleeting look of disappointment cross his face. He then glanced down at me with a business-like expression.

"Is Edward around?"

"Sure, he's in the garage. Why?"

"Sam gave me a call; he's got the pack on alert. You know how he is. Paul came across a strange trail in the forest." He frowned. "I said I'd check with you guys; see if you knew anything about it."

I felt suddenly anxious; I knew all too well that visitors were not always welcome ones.

"We haven't been hunting for a week and we didn't notice anything, but the scent might be more recent than that."

Jake nodded, "I didn't think it was someone you knew. Paul said it didn't smell like a normal vampire…" He was distracted by Edward's arrival.

I knew that Edward would have heard the conversation and turned to ask him what he thought, but the words froze on my lips when I saw the look on his face. His jaw was tense and there was alarm in his eyes.

"Edward… what's wrong?" I gasped. I hadn't seen him wearing this expression in years.

"Nessie!" The panic in his voice was unmistakeable.

Jake took a step forward and I clutched his arm. I felt as if my legs would give way. The sense of dread that washed over me made speaking impossible. Jacob spoke for both of us, somehow managing to control the anxiety that he must have been feeling.

"Has something happened to her?" His face was white.

Edward shook his head, "I don't know. She's out running in the forest. She has no idea that there could be any danger." I groaned and Jake caught Edward by the shoulder.

"How far did she go? She was just jogging right?"

"No, she wanted to go for a long run, she was thinking of hunting. I should have stopped her…" his voice rose in anguish. I finally managed to speak, in barely more than a whisper.

"She's probably fine," I said, more for their sake than my own. "But we should go after her. It's not safe to be hunting alone if there's someone out there."

My words seemed to release us all from our paralysis. Edward left us and before I could ask where he was going, he'd returned with our running shoes. Jake went outside to phase into wolf form, we were beside him within seconds.

Edward spoke quickly. "We should all follow Nessie's trail, if we pick up the other scent, Bella and I should take it. Jake, you carry on after Nessie; try to get her home as fast as possible."

Edward turned his tawny eyes to mine and a new strength stole through me. I nodded and Jacob whined impatiently. Edward took a deep breath and caught Nessie's trail, he turned and disappeared into the forest, Jake and I instantly followed him.

I was glad to discover that she had followed a familiar path. It was near dusk, but the heavily overcast day obscured the last of the sunlight. The forest was already dark. It was raining hard and a heavy mist was hanging over the forest floor. It seemed an uninviting evening for Nessie to go for a run. I felt sorry that she had felt the need to escape into the woods on such a night.

As we followed her trail, I did not feel particularly alarmed. I recognised her route and was well aware how far Nessie usually went. I half expected to meet her as she returned to the house. That was until we reached the spot where she generally turned back towards home. Her trail continued past this point, going further into the trees. We all came to a standstill.

Edward spoke first, his voice dismayed. "Why did she have to pick tonight to go so far?"

"Where do you think she's headed?" I couldn't imagine what she was doing. I was suddenly hit by a wave of uncontrollable fear. "What if she's been hurt, Edward? What if someone has caught her? "

Jake growled and Edward frowned. "Try not to think that way. We haven't come across any evidence suggesting that she's in trouble." He sounded calm, but I could still read the fear in his eyes.

Jacob was the first to start running again, but Edward and I quickly followed suit. All of us moved with more urgency this time. Edward stayed a little way in front, being faster than either of us. He could have gone further ahead, but I think his instincts told him we should all stay close.

I became more and more concerned as the miles flew by. Where on earth was Nessie going? Was she planning on coming home at all? I shook my head; I had to stop scaring myself. I glanced at Jacob. I wondered what he was thinking; did he know how unhappy she had been without him?

The sun had finally set. The dark forest was eerily silent and her trail continued weaving between the massive trees. At least her scent was still easy to follow. Suddenly, Edward stopped in his tracks, his eyes blazing and his nostrils flared. Jacob and I reached him within seconds and instantly understood why Edward was growling and scanning the trees.

Nessie's trail had been crossed by a new scent. This smell was unfamiliar to me, bitter and utterly repellent. My nose burned and my muscles tensed, defensively.

"Ugh! What is that?" I whispered to Edward.

"I don't know. It's not someone that I've met before." He turned to Jake to answer an unspoken question. "I've never smelt a vampire like this before."

"What should we do?"

Edward answered in a stricken voice. "We have to get going, they've crossed Nessie's trail. We should stick to our plan, they could be following her." He then turned to Jake and put a hand on his neck. "No matter what happens, you go after Nessie. Keep her safe."

With these words Edward nodded to me and we separated from Jacob who disappeared into the trees. I prayed that he would find Nessie before the stranger did. Edward and I following the new, bitter trail; we were so silent that we flitted through the trees like spectres.

I was glad that the stranger had not followed Nessie's scent. But I was terrified that she might still encounter whoever was out there. The stranger had taken a circular route. I couldn't understand what they were doing, until we found ourselves crossing Nessie's scent again.

As we hit her trail, I suddenly realised that they had been deliberately hunting her from a distance, by circling within easy reach; probably hoping to catch her unawares. I was horrified. My daughter was being hunted by an unknown predator. And then two trails suddenly converged. Maybe Nessie had become aware and the stranger had decided to take the more direct approach.

I picked up my speed and threw a look at Edward. He could outrun me.

"Go, Edward." I begged. "Just get to her."

His mouth was set in a hard line, his expression fierce. He just nodded and took off at an incredible speed. I watched him go with an aching heart. What would he find?

* * *

**Author's note:**

**For anyone who is feeling anxious about Nessie's wellbeing, I will post another chapter this weekend :)**

**Thank you so much for the amazing response to the last chapter, and thanks to anyone who I can't send a PM to. I have really appreciated all the comments and, as always, I am very interested to hear more of them. Take care and have a lovely weekend, Mad :)**


	19. Nessie, revelation

**Chapter 19. **

**Nessie – revelation**

I spun around to discover the whereabouts of the threat. They were moving quickly in my direction. Without a second's hesitation; I leapt into a run. I pelted through the trees as fast as I could go, and straightaway I heard the sound of pursuit behind me.

Picking up the speed, my feet hardly touched the forest floor. I hastily broke through the undergrowth, splattering myself with mud, trying to stay in the direction of home. My heart rate sped to a hum as the muscles in my legs worked as they never had before.

For the very first time, I was running for my life. I flew at a speed that I would not have believed possible. My terror drove me on, but I had no idea how long I could sustain this incredible pace. I just needed to keep going long enough to escape, but what if I didn't make it?

All the time I could hear the heavy, panting breath behind me. Who was following me? Did I have any hope of survival? Whoever they were, I couldn't seem to shake them off with speed alone. Maybe my only hope was to try and jump to safety.

All the time my thoughts were racing, my body was screaming for extra speed. Suddenly a small glimmer of hope flickered in my mind; I was getting close to one of the many rivers that ran through the forest, a rocky gorge stood on either side. I could just about jump the distance, but maybe this predator couldn't. There was no time to decide if I really could make it. I headed towards the ravine, knowing that I was taking a terrible gamble.

The breathing behind me seemed to be getting closer as I neared the river. This was my last chance; I took a deep breath as I broke through the surrounding bushes. I could see the edge of the rocks close to me and sprang forward with a final burst of speed, throwing myself into a leap, my eyes fixed on the opposite bank. As I flew through the air, I willed myself across, defying gravity with the strength of my determination.

I hit the bank on the other side with no more than a foot to spare, and glanced over my shoulder for the first time, desperate to know _who_ was following me. And then I saw it, crashing through the bushes by the river bank. A huge creature, covered in coarse grey hair, with a body resembling that of a hound. It was not like my beautiful wolves, this thing was sinewy and ugly, with blazing red eyes and a huge snarling mouth. I had seen many monsters, but nothing that looked as feral and unreasoning as this. I gasped in horror and threw myself into the thicket.

I heard the giant hound leap from the other side of the river. I prayed for the splash as it missed the bank and hit the water, but the sound never came. Instead, I heard the thud of paws as it landed safely nearby. My heart sank as I ran. I had gained a slight time advantage, but I was unsure how much distance it would give me. The failure of my plan to escape across the river filled me with a new despair.

This despair forced unexpected pictures into my mind, the faces of my parents and my family. But most of all, I saw the image of a tall man, with beautiful skin and dark eyes. Suddenly, through all the agony, the clearest thought in my head was the look on Jacob's face when he smiled at me. For a split second I imagined what it would do to him if I never came home. I held onto this thought as I ran. I had to escape, for him.

The creature was not far behind; as I reached a large forest clearing that I recognised. I had camped here with Jacob, what seemed like an eternity ago. I raced across the grass and heard the animal closing the distance between us. My heart felt as if it would explode, I could see no escape.

Within seconds, the monster would be upon me. I looked back to see the hound, drawing back its lips to reveal rows of sharp white teeth, preparing to spring and finish me. I did not even consider the possibility that I might survive this encounter.

A cry of anguish came to my lips. "Jake… Jake! _Help me…!_"

Suddenly – too fast for me to comprehend – I found that I was no longer alone with the beast. For a moment I wondered if death had sent me a vision, as a huge red-brown wolf burst from the shadowy trees towards me. But, my uncertainty only lasted for a second; the sight of _my_ wolf gave me renewed strength. All I had to do was reach him. I took a few final strides away from the growling predator and watched in horror, as Jacob leapt past me and closed upon it, with teeth exposed.

Although I had heard plenty of the pack stories, this was the first time I had actually seen Jake fight to the death. What I witnessed filled me with a new sense of awe. His movements were swift and purposeful; the wild hound never stood a chance. Jacob's teeth closed around its throat with a wet crunch before the snarling monster had made a single mark upon him. Jake twisted his head to the side and I heard the creature's neck break. It fell limply to the ground, and I listened as its heart faltered for a few beats and finally ceased altogether.

I could go no further. I fell to my knees gasping with shock and relief, closing my eyes, trying to block out the terrifying images. A minute later, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I started fearfully and looked up to see Jacob leaning over me, his dark eyes full of concern. He knelt down beside me.

"Nessie, are you ok?"

I could only nod and touch his face. I showed him the chase and he watched with an agonised expression. I let my hand drop unable to face the memories. He just took me in his arms and held me.

"Oh, _Nessie_!" His voice shook. "Thank God, you're ok… you're safe..."

I couldn't speak; I just hid my face against his chest. A wave of unfamiliar emotion threatened to engulf me.

In the shortest space of time, I had been snatched from the jaws of death by a man who then proceeded to hold me in his arms with bewildering tenderness. Something new in me wanted to respond, but I hardly knew how to. My world seemed to be shifting before my very eyes.

"Jake…" was all I could whisper.

"It's ok… you're ok…" he chanted, holding me tighter.

I raised my head to look at him. He towered over me; I looked up to meet his gaze and as our eyes locked, the strangest thing happened.

All my feelings for Jacob came together, like pieces of a puzzle. For the first time, I saw all that we were to each other with absolute clarity. I understood our friendship, our attraction and our deepest love. All uncertainty was swept away; I knew that I belonged to him, that my soul belonged to his. Whatever else happened, nothing could change that. The moment of illumination only lasted for a split second, but in that time, something inside me changed permanently.

I don't know if he saw the wonder in my eyes, but before either of us could speak, I was jolted from my reverie by a voice calling my name. The spell of the moment was broken and I turned to witness my father's swift approach. Jacob stood up quickly and helped me to my feet. I tottered as my dad caught me in his arms.

"Daddy." I sobbed, throwing my arms around his neck, like a frightened child.

"We thought we might have lost you…" he said, holding me tightly. "We were so afraid." He squeezed me tighter.

"Dad, I'm fine… Jake made just it in time." I gasped, still shaking.

He must have seen the whole thing in his mind. I was glad; at least I wouldn't have to remember it for him. Jake stood behind me, his hand on my head, unable to tear himself away. Moments later, I heard my mother's overwrought voice as she arrived in the clearing. Before I knew it, her cool arms were around me and she was hugging my shaking form.

"Nessie, thank God." I could tell by her voice that she'd have been crying if it was possible. I just hid my face on her shoulder and closed my eyes. "Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine… Jake saved me," my voice trembled and I looked up.

"Thank you, Jacob!" She said fervently, her eyes burning with gratitude. My dad just put his hand on Jake's shoulder.

"That's ok," Jake said quietly; his anxious eyes never left my face. I gave him a tiny smile and he reached out and tenderly stroked my cheek. I raised my hand and gently slid my fingers around his. Suddenly, he turned away; his attention had been caught by my father, who had moved away to inspect the body of the strange animal. I released his hand and watched as he followed my dad across the grass. I let go of my mother and we took a few steps after them.

Kneeling down, my father prodded the carcass. "I never thought I would see one of these," he said in a shocked voice.

Jake asked in surprise. "You know what that is?"

My father nodded speculatively. "I think so, though I've only ever seen them in other people's memories."

My mother went ahead of me, close to the others. "Edward, what is it?"

"It looks like a _real_ werewolf."

She gasped, and Jacob exclaimed in surprise. "Wait a second..! You mean the ones who change with the full moon?"

"That's right. This isn't a shapeshifter like you; these are the foundation of the myth."

Jacob leaned forward to get a closer look. "Wow, freaky!" He wrinkled his nose at the acrid smell. My father watched him and gave a slight smile. My mother was still frowning.

"I thought that they were extinct."

"Not quite, thought I can't imagine where this beast came from." He shook his head, clearly mystified.

I took a faltering step forward to take a better look at my vanquished enemy. The werewolf's huge grey body lay on its side with its feet jumbled together. A pool of dark blood collected on the ground, beneath its torn throat. The creature's head was twisted into an unnatural position and its black tongue lolled out over rows of razor sharp teeth. Teeth that had come so close to tearing me limb from limb!

I stumbled back, gasping in horror, trying to escape the memories that threatened to engulf me. The others watched with alarm, as I retreated from the body.

"Nessie!"

"No!" I cried, holding my hands to my temples, fighting the terrifying images that filled my mind. I felt as if I was trying to physically resist being overcome by fear. I pushed the thoughts away from myself and suddenly heard a gasp. Opening my eyes, I saw three shocked faces staring at me.

"How did you _do _that?" Jake was the first to speak.

I was still confused and shook my head, trying to clear it. "Do what?"

"You just sent us your memories… without touching us." My mother gasped.

I covered my eyes with my hand. "I wasn't trying to… I just wanted to make them stop…"

My father was first to reach me. "We need to get you home." He turned to Jake and Mom. "I'll bury the body, if you two get her out of here."

They nodded quickly and he added. "Try to be careful, we don't know if there are any more out there."

I shuddered and Jake caught my arm. "Are you ok to get home, or do you want me to give you a ride?" He took one look at my face and took a step back to phase.

I climbed onto his back, for the first time since I was a little kid, and held on tightly as he raced through the dark forest with my mom at our side.

As I lay in bed that night, I longed for the sheltering darkness of sleep. But when it finally came, it was not protective but threatening. I was not prone to nightmares, but my mind could not contain the fear that night.

I found myself alone, in an unfamiliar place; a huge stone room, round in shape with a heavy wooden door. The only light was coming from the long window slits, high above me. I felt unaccountably nervous, as if I was trespassing.

Glancing guiltily around me, I discovered that I was no longer alone. An enormous grey beast was circling the room. It's burning red eyes never left my face and its teeth were bared as it took a step towards me.

I tried to run, but my legs wouldn't work, there was no strength in my muscles. All the time, the monster continued its slow approach. I looked wildly about me, searching for Jacob. And then I remembered that he wasn't coming. I had sent him away. I turned, just as the hound's teeth closed around my throat.

"_JAKE!_" I cried out, waking with a jolt. It was still dark, the house was quiet. My mother's soothing voice came from the chair by my bed.

"It's alright, you're safe. You were having a nightmare." She moved to sit on my bed and I lay back down, trembling with fright.

I heard a loud whining from outside. Jacob was still in wolf form, guarding the house.

"It's alright Jake, she was just dreaming," called my mother, gently. There followed a silence and then a bark. My mother patted my arm and smiled. "I suppose we should count ourselves lucky, that he didn't just come charging up here."

I turned onto my side and tried to go back to sleep, secretly wishing that he had.

* * *

**Author's note:**

**Just in case anyone was wondering, my explanation for Paul coming across the scent that day in the forest is either that a werewolf turns with the full moon, even before that moon has risen; or that Paul picked up the scent of the werewolf in its human form. After all shape shifters and vampires don't smell like regular humans, so why would werewolves.**

**As the Twilight books are a little hazy on the habits of real werewolves, it's hard to know for sure, though I would probably go with the second explanation.**

**Anyway, enough of my theories. Thank you for all the continued support and reviews, and a thank you to anyone who I can't send a PM to. I have been really pleased with the feedback and loved reading the comments, so please do send me more. **

**I'll post again during the week, take care, Mad :)**


	20. Nessie, awakening

**Chapter 20. **

**Nessie – awakening**

When I awoke again, I found myself alone. My eyes opened slowly, to discover the sun blazing through the curtains. I had been asleep for hours, it was already mid-morning. The room was full of spring sunshine and everything seemed to be glowing. It was so different from the night before that, for one wild moment, I wondered if I had imagined the whole thing.

Rolling onto my side, the unfamiliar stiffness in my muscles assured me that the horrifying chase had really happened. I lay still for several minutes, thinking about the previous night. The terrifying recollections came flooding back in shocking detail. But far more vivid, were my memories of Jacob holding me and the moment of my revelation, when I realised that I loved him.

Suddenly, for the first time in weeks, I felt hopeful; as if a fog had been lifted and I was really, truly awake. I was exhilarated and surprised; last night had been the most terrifying of my life, yet here I was, feeling optimistic. I smiled to myself.

I rolled over again, wondering if Jake had seen the transformation written on my face. Last night would not have been an easy time to say anything, if he had. My musings were interrupted by the sound of talking, downstairs in the hall. One husky voice stood out from the others, and as I heard it, my heart leapt; Jake was downstairs, he hadn't gone away!

I sat up and threw off my covers. Getting out of bed, I tried to remember if my muscles had ever ached before, they certainly did this morning. I stretched and staggered to my bathroom. While I was brushing my teeth, I glanced in the mirror. My appearance shocked me; I looked like hell. Pale and dishevelled, still splatted with mud and my hair..! I couldn't face anyone like this.

With a groan I set to work, making myself presentable. Half an hour later – after a superhuman effort – I was dressed and ready to go downstairs. A hot shower had worked wonders and at least now my hair was clean. I was amazed at the difference that fresh clothes made to my appearance.

Taking a deep breath I headed down the stairs. Nervously gripping the bannister, I listened to the earnest conversation that was now coming from the living room.

I heard Sam's voice. "Ok, we'll stay on alert for the next few days," he was saying. "If we don't find anything, we can return to our regular patrols."

Jake replied. "We can swap shifts, if any of you need a break. You were up all night."

"So were you," my mother reminded him. "Anyway, we don't need sleep. When Emmett and Rose arrive, we can take the night patrols. Edward should be back from the airport in an hour or so."

I blinked in surprise; Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rose were on their way? Dad must have called them in the night. I reached the foot of the stairs and slipped quietly into the living room, where I found my mother standing with Jake, Seth, Embry, Sam and Paul. They filled the room, towering over her. Sam was the only one facing me when I entered the room. He eyed me sympathetically.

"Are you alright? We heard about your close call last night."

I nodded self-consciously. "I'm fine."

"I'm sorry that we didn't discover the intruder until it was too late," he frowned, as everyone else looked in my direction.

The only person I noticed was Jake. I turned my hopeful eyes to his face and read his expression as turned towards me. He gave me a friendly smile and promptly looked away, his face serene. In that instant, my newfound hope was shattered into a thousand pieces. There was no ardour his eyes, just the affectionate familiarity of an old friend.

I don't know what I would have done, if Seth hadn't chosen that moment to run forward and catch me in a bear hug. He unwittingly created the perfect distraction and no one had a chance to witness my implosion.

My mind was reeling; I had been wrong! Last night I had been swept away by my revelation, but it was completely one-sided. The idea that he returned my feelings had been nothing more than an illusion. Now, in the cold light of day, it was obvious that Jacob had been relieved to save me because he was fond of me, and nothing more.

"Nessie!" Seth squeezed me so hard I thought I was going to be squashed flat. "Are you ok?"

I forced a smile, in spite of the tears that were gathering in my eyes. "I'm fine, no broken bones… except for the ones you're giving me now."

"Sorry!" He dropped me and looked into my face, searchingly. "You're really alright?"

"Yes… thanks to Jake." I answered quietly and felt the salty drops spilling down my cheeks.

"Don't cry." He said kindly. "You're safe now." I was relieved that he had jumped to the wrong conclusion. I could not imagine anything more humiliating, than my real reason for crying being discovered.

"You're right. I'm just being silly." I smiled again, and wiped my cheeks with my fingers.

"And we haven't found any more trails; it looks like the werewolf was alone. Edward said that they're supposed to be quite solitary, so with any luck, we won't see another one."

I nodded appreciatively and kept my eyes down. My mom suggested that I get some breakfast and I gladly escaped to the kitchen. I didn't have the heart to eat anything; I just stood at the counter, with a glass of juice. I hadn't even touched my drink when the meeting in the living room finally ended.

I held my breath as I heard Jacob's footsteps coming towards the kitchen. He entered the room and strolled over to me. Determined to hide my feelings, I avoided meeting his eyes when he spoke.

"I just wanted to check how you're doing, before I go," he said in a relaxed voice.

"I'm fine, really." I took a deep breath and looked up. "I forgot to say it last night. Thank you."

"Don't mention it," he said, looking unconcerned. "As long as you're ok."

"Absolutely."

We stood in an uncomfortable silence for a moment. I was too tongue-tied to say anything.

Jacob eventually spoke. "Well, I'd better be going. I promised to take the next patrol." He gave me a reserved smile. "Take care of yourself."

My eyes widened in surprise; he sounded so final.

"Aren't you coming back?" I exclaimed. Did he still think that I wanted him to stay away?

Jake eyed me with a doubtful expression and I turned away to hide my confusion. Maybe he was the one who wanted to steer clear now. I had certainly given him enough reason.

"Do you want me to?" He sounded unsure.

I couldn't even look at him as I said. "Yes… if you don't mind."

"That would be nice." He said gently, taking my hand.

"I'm sorry… for everything." I whispered, glancing up at him.

"You don't have to apologise for anything." His dark eyes were warm and forgiving. At that moment Seth came into the kitchen. I started and Jacob glanced over his shoulder.

"Jake, are you coming with us?" Seth asked affably.

"Sure, sure." He nodded and then turned back, to kiss my forehead. "See you later, Nessie."

I nodded wordlessly and watched him leave with a throbbing heart. I could still feel his kiss burning on my skin.

* * *

**Author's note:**

**Hi there, just to say a thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story, or added to any of their lists. That's so nice :)**

**Also, I just wanted to say that the reason that no one commented upon Jake being naked in chapter 19 was because he put on a pair of shorts after phasing, (attached to his leg by rubber band as described in the books), Nessie was too distracted by her trauma to notice at the time, she had her eyes closed, remember. So, unfortunately he wasn't actually naked! **

**I'm sorry if this news has spoiled anyone's enjoyment of the chapter, please don't hate me ;) Thanks for that message, it made me smile :)**

**Please carry on reviewing, I love reading them, they're inspiring, have a great week, take care, Mad**


	21. Nessie, breakthrough

**Chapter 21. **

**Nessie – breakthrough**

Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rose arrived at the house a couple of hours after Jacob departed. I was in the living room when they arrived, brooding.

My thoughts were darker than they had ever been before. What had I done? I knew that I loved Jake, that I had always loved him. But my revelation had come too late and I finally realised the consequences of my appalling folly. No amount of repentance would make any difference now. Fate had given me Jacob's love and I had failed to recognise its value, and carelessly discarded it. Jake was right, I had thrown away happiness with both hands.

Bitterness, anger and regret all jostled for a place in the forefront of my mind. But they were beaten to first position by shame. I thought of everything that I had done since that day by the river, and there were no words to describe the disgust that I felt.

I looked back on those unhappy weeks, and realised how my behaviour had been selfish and cowardly. I hadn't faced my fears; I had just dodged them and hurt all the people I most cared about. It was disgraceful how self-absorbed I had been; like a spoilt, stupid baby. I hadn't even tried to live, I'd just faked it. Where was the courage in that?

To think that I had rejected Jake! It was almost laughable to think how unworthy I was of him. He had twenty times my moral fibre. And here I was, alive because of him. What was I going to do with that life?

My thoughts were interrupted by Aunt Rose coming into the living room.

"Nessie!" I turned and she had her arms around me. "Sweetheart, are you ok?" She sounded so worried that I felt even guiltier for causing so much trouble.

I hugged her tightly. "Honestly, I'm fine. You shouldn't have come all this way, there was really no need."

The next minute, Uncle Emmett and Dad appeared through the front door. I looked at my father. He must have heard everything that I was thinking as he approached the house, but he kept his expression passive.

So now he knew everything. What was new in that, he already knew what a jerk I'd been? I was well past the point of caring, so I shrugged. I couldn't imagine that he'd tell anyone my secret; which meant that if I could live with it then he would too.

Aunt Rose's arrival had been motivated by anxiety for my welfare, but I quickly became suspicious that Uncle Emmett was there in the hope of finding another real werewolf. In his mind, it was an encounter too good to be missed. He suggested going on patrol within half an hour of arriving.

For me, the rest of the day passed in some sort of daze. My mind was overwhelmed, just trying to process the events of the last twenty four hours. I hardly said a word and noticed that no one pressed me to speak.

The next day was different, things started to fall into place as I began to see with a little more clarity. When I came downstairs for breakfast, the rest of the family were chatting in the kitchen. Uncle Emmett and Dad were talking about the previous night's patrol. They had seen nothing. I went to the fruit bowl and plucked out an apple, listening to the conversation, which had turned to a proposed hunting trip. I turned to the family.

"What time are we going?"

Everyone looked up in surprise. My mother spoke first.

"Are you sure you want to come? We'd all understand if you wanted to stay home."

I shook my head. "It's ok; I'll come if I'm allowed."

No one argued with me, they just said we'd be setting out in an hour. I nodded and strolled out of the room with my apple. An hour later, we were all outside getting ready to leave. I couldn't believe how edgy I felt, I didn't want to go into the forest at all. This was in spite of the fact that it was daylight, and none of the vampires, or wolves, had found the slightest sign of another werewolf.

"You don't have to go out today," Dad said, reading my thoughts.

"No, I should. I _want _to." He nodded and didn't argue with my dubious assertion. He understood – as I did – that the longer I left it, the harder it would be to go back into the woods.

"Come on people, let's get going." Uncle Emmett was already raring to go, which was ridiculous, since he had only returned from his last patrol a couple of hours earlier. He started jogging towards the river, with Aunt Rose and my father.

My mother smiled encouragingly. "We should go."

It was embarrassing quite how afraid I felt, as we crossed the river and ran deeper into the shadowy forest. My heart was thrumming and my breathing felt laboured. I wished that I was brave, like the rest of the family; they never felt like this in the woods. I heard Uncle Emmett, up ahead, joking with Dad and I relaxed a little. At least I wasn't alone. My mom was keeping perfect pace with me and I gave her a sideways smile.

I looked over my shoulder, every now and again, making sure that nothing was tracking me. The rest of my time was spent intently scanning the forest on either side, for danger. I was so tightly wound, that the slightest snap of a twig made me start.

Gradually, I calmed and my heart rate slowed to something approaching normal. The quiet confidence of my mother seemed to be having a good effect. Nothing untoward happened while we were out, but I still spent the whole time longing to get home. I could only sigh with relief when we finally headed back.

My dad must have been listening to me because, when we arrived at the house, he put his arm around my shoulders and said sympathetically.

"It will get easier."

"Thanks, Dad," I smiled half-heartedly. "I hope you're right."

He was. That first trip out was the worst and it was never quite so bad again. Though I was still reluctant to go into the forest, I forced myself to go out running every day, trying to come to terms with my lingering fear.

I did not want to be out by myself, so it was fortunate that Uncle Emmett was always prepared to go with me. Every day I felt slightly better. I knew that it would be a while before I could be alone in the woods, but I knew what I was working towards. I kept telling myself that one day I would do it.

Jacob came to see me several times that week. It was strange; I had missed him so much that I was truly glad to see him. But at the same time, it could hardly have been described as undiluted pleasure. Once we got over the initial awkwardness, things were ok between us, but his visits did confirm my initial observations.

He genuinely didn't seem to feel any lingering resentment towards me – however much I deserved it – and he still watched me with fondness in his eyes. His affection was deep rooted enough that he could forgive me and be friends. But that was all. He would never see me as anything but a little sister, to be petted and indulged.

This knowledge was pretty humbling. My slight consolation was that he had no idea that I loved him. He would never know, I would certainly never tell anyone. My father undoubtedly knew my secret, but it was unthinkable that he would betray my confidence.

Seeing Jacob did give me an unexpected insight. I realised that I could fake my feelings in front of him, but after the first visit, I began to question if this was a satisfactory way to live. Surely the key to living wasn't just learning how to hide that you were unhappy. I had done that before and look where it had got me.

I started to wonder what happened to people, who didn't get what they wanted? Did they just stop bothering to live, or did they find a reasonable alternative. Maybe the aim wasn't to spend your whole time wanting what you didn't have, but instead actually making the best of your situation and learning to be happy another way.

I suddenly realised that I would have to put in some serious work if I wanted to live positively. The idea seemed a bit daunting at first, but still preferable to the strange half-living I had been doing previously. When I returned to school, I knew what I was hoping to achieve, but I had no idea how to go about it.

I found inspiration from the most surprising source; the senior year. My newly discovered weakness made me aware of the vulnerabilities of the humans around me, and I found that I could relate to them with more depth than I had before. I spent a lot more time observing my friends and noticed, for the first time, all the small acts of kindness or bravery that they performed, in spite of their fears. I saw that I had underestimated how difficult most young humans found life.

Plenty of my classmates had problems, like Jason who had spent half his life looking out for his younger brother, since his parents divorced; or Leanne, who had to fit study around her part time job at the bait shop.

I finally understood that for most of the seniors, college was no more than an impossible dream; many of their families could hardly afford health insurance. And even the kids without these practical issues, felt insecure and worried about the future.

It was an interesting thing about human problems; they were generally too mundane for anyone else to be interested. But that didn't make them less unpleasant. I saw the way my friends stayed cheerful, in spite of sometimes feeling unhappy, and suddenly I didn't feel alone anymore. It was very reassuring, apparently I was a member of a large society; The Association of Miserable Teenagers.

It gave me an amazing sense of solidarity; this was the human condition and I was part of it. I also began to recognise that my school friends had accepted me, an outsider, with a real generosity of spirit.

This awareness filled me with real sense of gratitude, and I wished I could do something nice for them. I wanted to show my appreciation for their company, which had become more and more important to me. I wasn't sure quite what, but I felt sure that I would figure it out. In the meantime, I just carried on living; going to school, hunting with my family and even surfing again.

Jacob started to visit me at Grandpa's house again, not every day, but still pretty regularly and I tried to make the most of our time together. It was tough sometimes, because Marie had taken a part time job in Forks, and on the days she was working he usually gave her a lift home. That meant, when he visited me, she almost always came too. Unfortunately Grandpa, Sue and Seth were glad to see her, so she was encouraged to feel welcome.

She and Jake got on well and though they were not romantic with each other, I felt that it was only a matter of time before they woke up and got together. And when they did, I would get my just deserts; no punishment would be more fitting. I would be lying if I said I had learned to live with that idea. I hated the thought, but I tried really hard to want the best for Jake.

After all, I told myself, if you loved someone you should put them first.

* * *

**Author's note:**

**I just want to say a huge thank you for all the reviews and additions to various lists, which I've been sent. Thank you very, very much.**

**I hope you survived this chapter ok, it was one of the most stressful to write, because Nessie is so lost and confused. ****Anyway, I will update soon, please keep reviewing, I love knowing what you're thinking, Mad :)**


	22. Nessie, the project

**Chapter 22. **

**Nessie – the project**

I wanted to give my friends a present, but I wasn't sure quite what. The idea came to me after the prom. It was so obvious; I was almost surprised that I hadn't thought of it sooner. I had missed the prom, instead choosing to visit the Cullens for the weekend. I wasn't really interested in attending the event; I was keener to see Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper, who had just got back from Europe. But I was curious to hear how it went on the following Monday.

"So, how was the prom? I asked Leanne and Kristy, as we filed into English.

"What a disaster," Kristy sighed. "I don't even know why I bothered going."

Leanne chipped in. "I know. What a waste of a dress."

I had to laugh at their disgusted expressions. "It couldn't have been that bad." I thought that human girls loved proms. They did in the movies.

"Well, let me see." Leanne pursed her lips, looking like a sour old woman. "Half the class didn't show; probably because none of the _stupid _boys at this _stupid _school could be bothered to ask any of the girls for a date!"

"Don't forget that the sound system stopped working after the first half hour!"

"And who the hell set up those weird spotlights? It was like trying to dance under police interrogation."

They spent the rest of the morning gleefully criticising every minute detail of the event. Although there was clearly a degree of exaggeration, there was no doubt that it had been a disappointing affair. What a shame that it hadn't been organised by Aunt Alice. She knew how to throw a party. Even I could have probably done a better job than this year's Prom Committee.

I remembered hearing that Aunt Alice _had_ thrown a graduation party, for my mother. And that was when I had the idea. I could throw a graduation party for the seniors. The juniors were nice kids; I could ask them along too. Once I had had the idea, there was no stopping me. It was a perfect. What better way to say 'thank you', than to give everyone a great night out.

My mind started going over the logistics. I would have to find a nice venue and there would have to be music and plenty of food. That would cost a lot of money; money that most of my classmates didn't have. I would be happy to bankroll the whole thing, but I didn't want to be tactless or showy about it. I smiled to myself, I could be cunning.

I would suggest organising a party and get my friends to help. We could sell token tickets at a really low price, and organise a couple of fund raising bake sales. Then, in my capacity as treasurer, I could book everything. I was sure that I could negotiate a reasonable price for a function room and I could make up the shortfall in our funds, without anyone knowing.

Unsurprisingly, Kristy and Leanne jumped on the bandwagon, as soon as I made the suggestion. They had felt cheated of a proper senior prom and were more than willing to help me. I was touched how many other kids approached me – when word got around – offering to help with the event.

I quickly managed to find a beautiful venue, called the Garden Hotel, which was free on the evening of graduation. It was an elegant old hotel, situated west of Port Angeles, on the coast. With a gorgeous function room and great catering, I knew it was the place from the second I arrived. I went to see the hotel manager myself and he was a very accommodating man, even before he saw my credit card.

I was surprised to discover how excited I was about the party; I hadn't felt this positive about anything for months. It definitely helped that the seniors and juniors were also getting really into the idea. In fact, the bake sales made just about enough money to cover the cost of the fruit punch.

One breezy Saturday, a couple of weeks after preparations had begun; I was at First Beach with Jason. We'd had a long afternoon in the surf, when we finally decided to call it a day.

"It's good to see Jacob around again." Jason remarked as we carried our boards up the beach. I saw him throw me a sideways glance.

I nodded and avoided eye contact. "Sure."

"He's a nice guy."

We reached my car and started strapping our boards to the roof. It was good timing, I could feel the first spots of rain. Jason was quiet for moment and then he said in a hesitant voice.

"Can I ask your opinion about something, Nessie?"

I noticed his serious expression and said. "Yeah, what's up?"

"I wanted to ask Kristy to the party, but I don't know if she'd like me to." I smiled to myself, knowing that she was dying to go with him. It was so funny; he really didn't have a clue how attractive he was.

"I think she might, you should definitely ask. And do it soon, before she's taken." I added helpfully.

He smiled with relief and nodded. "Ok."

I was glad to discover that he called and asked her that evening and, of course, she'd said yes. I felt strangely pleased with my small piece of matchmaking. I wanted my friends to be happy. I wanted the whole class to be happy.

It suddenly occurred to me that I could assist other people in finding partners for the party. I knew everyone and I could be very persuasive when I wanted to be. I just needed to plant a few suggestions in people's minds. I had already spotted a few potential couples; they just didn't know it yet.

Oddly, the most promising of these was my friend Richard and a shy junior called Ruth. She came to my attention when I saw her pinning a poster to the school notice board. I needed some help designing the party tickets, so I went over and spoke to her.

"Excuse me," I said politely. She was quite a small person, with wide grey eyes, which she now raised to nervously to mine. I smiled and continued. "Did you make that poster?"

She nodded and seemed to overcome her shyness. "Yes."

I wasn't interested in what the poster said, but I really liked the design. "That's lovely."

"Thanks." She whispered, blushing. That was when her resemblance to Richard struck me. They would be perfect together. It was obvious that they were also far too shy to get together without some serious interference from a helpful third party. I could be that third party. I immediately formulated a plan. I turned to her and cut to the chase.

"I need to have some tickets made for the graduation party. I was looking for someone to help with the design. Would you be interested?"

She gasped and blushed again, nodding eagerly. Now all I had to do was have her over to Grandpa's for a design discussion, on the same night as our Games Club meeting. That was easy enough. The next meeting night, I invited Ruth to my house straight after school. I then made sure that she was still there at five thirty, when the Club members showed up.

She was a nice girl and easy to keep chatting. Five thirty arrived before we knew it. The guys were on time and I neatly drew Ruth into our meeting. I strategically put her next to Richard and then went to fetch some snacks. Food always relaxed humans and I noticed that after refilling the sandwich plate twice, the Club members were talking to Ruth in a friendly way.

A slight distraction occurred when Seth and Jacob arrived. They knew the guys and said "Hi" before heading for the kitchen. I sighed with relief that Jake hadn't brought Marie with him. The last thing that I needed was the presence of a beautiful girl, distracting Richard's attention from Ruth.

I managed to steer the conversation to Ruth's ticket design. Richard instantly became interested in what she had drawn. Seth and Jake ambled back into the room and sat down on the free chairs. Jake grinned at me.

"How's Neoin?"

"Surviving." I smiled back. Then I had a brainwave of how to show off Richard's artistic talent to Ruth. "Do you want to see what she looks like?"

"Sure." Jake nodded, looking confused; maybe he thought I had a costume! I ran upstairs and took down the framed picture from my wall. Bringing it into the living room, I gave it to Jacob.

"There you go."

He looked grave as he stared at the picture for a long moment. "It's beautiful." He then smiled casually and handed it back. "It looks just like you."

"Richard drew it." I said and showed it to Ruth. "What do you think?"

She took the picture and inspected it. "It's really good." She sounded impressed; Richard looked really pleased by this enthusiastic compliment.

"You should see his other drawings," I said helpfully. After some encouragement from me, Richard brought out his character folder and showed it to Ruth. They spent the next hour discussing drawing and design under my watchful eye.

By the time everyone had to leave, they were getting along very well; Richard offered to drop Ruth home. I waved goodbye and went inside, to set the table for dinner. It seemed like a successful evenings work.

It turned out that I had a gift for matchmaking. Or maybe it was just that I was the only person who had the energy to organise trips to the beach, the movies and Port Angeles shopping district. Mostly it was a matter of helping my fellow students overcome their lack of confidence. As graduation approached, more and more couples were making dates for the party.

Someone who needed no help from me was Leanne. She surprised both Kristy and me one lunch break, by announcing that she would be bringing Trent to the party. Neither of us knew quite what to say, Kristy came out with a lame.

"Oh… ok."

Leanne gave her a look and said. "I know what you're thinking, but underneath he's really nice." I tried really hard to imagine Trent with hidden depths, and to be honest, I drew a bit of a blank. Then she added with a sly smile. "And he's definitely _not_ a washing machine!"

Suddenly it all made sense; he'd fulfilled her number one criteria.

Kristy grinned. "We're so happy for you."

Seth watched my machinations with great amusement. He suggested that I start my own dating agency. He was joking about it to Marie and Jake one evening.

"I swear no one is safe with her around."

We were all sitting in the kitchen. I was folding dishtowels and pitched one at Seth.

"That's not true, I'm _helping_ people!"

Marie smiled at me and said archly. "So Nessie, who is your date to the party?"

This question threw me; I hadn't even considered the idea that I should also be setting _myself_ up with a date. I laughed in surprise and the others exchanged baffled glances.

Marie frowned. "What's so funny?"

I was still chuckling. "Nothing, I just hadn't given it much thought."

"Well, which guys asked you?" She enquired suspiciously. I saw Jacob frown, I didn't blame him; her question did sound a bit prying.

I wasn't bothered, I just told the truth. "No one."

She did seem genuinely surprised to hear this. "Why not?"

This time I avoided the truth. I couldn't tell her that human's normally preferred to stick to their own kind, so I said the next best thing.

"Because there were other girls that they wanted more."

I didn't feel resentful as I said this, but Marie dropped her eyes and looked embarrassed. Seth pretended not to notice and Jacob continued staring at the table, wearing a blank expression. I shouldn't have been so blunt, I had made everyone uncomfortable. I quickly tried to make amends. Afterwards I couldn't understand how I had managed to invite my least favourite person to the party. The words just slipped out before I'd thought them through.

"I'll be on the ticket table most of the night, so it wouldn't make much sense for me to bring a date. I was hoping that you guys could come though, you could be my plus three."

Of course, they decided to support me and say yes, so now I was faced with the prospect of spending an evening watching Marie and Jake having fun on the dance floor. Great!

* * *

**Author's note:**

**There you go, Nessie's tougher than she thought... :)**

**I just wanted to say thank you for all the amazing comments, compliments and additions to lists that I have received. The positive feedback really means a lot! And a special thank you to anyone who has reviewed but I can't post a message to, just know that I would if I could :)**

**I'll post another chapter soon, Mad :)**


	23. Nessie, acceptance

**Chapter 23. **

**Nessie – acceptance**

I had so much to do that I hardly had a spare moment for brooding. Between matchmaking, planning the party, exam revision – though that was hardly time consuming – and other bits and pieces, my time was fully occupied. My nights still weren't easy; I couldn't go to sleep without thinking of Jacob, and my dreams were often haunted by a stone room and a ferocious hound. But on the whole, I did start to feel a lot more positive.

A few weeks before my exams, I received two college acceptances; one from the University of Washington and the other from Dartmouth. When making the applications, I had wanted to leave my options open. My idea had been, either I stay near my connections in Forks, or move to New Hampshire to be with the Cullens.

I hadn't given much thought to the applications since sending them, but when the acceptances arrived, I found myself in a quandary. It brought home to me that in a few short weeks, I would have to leave Grandpa and go somewhere else. I didn't really want to think about it, I had got used to living at his house and going to school. It made me sad to think it would all be over so soon.

I didn't reply to either college straight away; I couldn't bring myself to make the decision. The Cullens already presumed that I would be coming home to them, so that the whole family could be together again. It did seem like a good idea, so why couldn't I post the acceptance to Dartmouth?

I already knew the answer to that question. I couldn't face the thought of leaving Jake. I would have to leave Forks if I went to the University of Washington, but at least I would still be in the same state. The thought of moving right across the country made it all seem so final.

Two sides of me were at war. On the one hand, it would clearly be better to leave and let him get on with his life. I knew very well what my limits were; although I wanted him to be happy, there was no way that I could stick around and witness it. I wasn't a complete masochist! On the other hand, the thought of going away was just too scary to be considered. But I couldn't dodge the decision forever; both colleges had deadlines, so I would have to face my fears soon.

The weekend before the acceptance deadlines, I went to stay with my parents at the big house. I thought a little quiet time might give me some perspective. But by the end of Saturday, I was no nearer to making a choice. I gazed out of my window, towards the forest and had an idea.

The next morning I was up and dressed by five thirty, in my jogging suit and running shoes. I walked into the living room to find my mom reading. She glanced up and gave me a surprised look.

"What are you doing up?"

I smiled and said in a matter of fact voice. "I wanted to make an early start; I'm going to run to Seattle."

My dad appeared in the doorway, as she said. "Oh! Do you want us to come with you?"

I smiled back. "No it's fine; I was planning to go alone. I'll have my phone if you need to call. With any luck, I'll be back by nightfall."

It was a sunny day, still slightly chilly, but bright and cheerful. I don't think I could have considered this plan if it had been dark and wet. Waving goodbye, I left the house and crossed the lawn, heading for the forest. I stood on the banks of the river for five minutes, just staring at the trees on the other side. Eventually, I took deep breath and made the run to jump across.

I reached the other side and didn't look back. Being alone was strange and for a moment I thought I was going to panic, but instead of throwing myself into a terrified dash, I set a slow running pace. I wanted to keep the speed relaxed so I could stay calm. The woods weren't frightening that day, with the sun glinting through the trees, and the sounds of the forest all around me.

I was surprised how much I liked being by myself and when I crossed onto higher ground, I sat down for a while and enjoyed the view. It was amazing how quickly the time passed. I was in Seattle before I knew it, which made me feel really good. I had gone the whole way across the forest by myself. The run home was even easier, and I was almost disappointed when I reached home and it was over.

My dad was waiting for me on the lawn. He smiled when he saw me. "So it went well!"

"Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be," I nodded.

He smiled at me. "That's true of most things."

That evening I posted my acceptance to Dartmouth.

The next few weeks at school were dominated by exams. They didn't bother me, but all my friends went into panic overdrive. Somehow we all made it through without any actual catastrophes and before I knew it, we were in the last week of school.

The evening before graduation, I stayed at the big house. The whole afternoon had been spent on the phone, finalising arrangements for the party. When I was done, I put down the phone with a smile and headed out to the garden. The whole week had been beautiful and sunny, and this evening was no exception. The trees were bathed in golden light and the air was still.

I strolled down to the river and sat down on a nice flat rock. It was very peaceful and I don't know how long I had been sitting, gazing at the water, when I heard my father's voice.

"Do you mind if I join you?"

I smiled, _that would be nice_.

He sat down on a nearby boulder and smiled at me. "You need a break. You've had a busy afternoon."

_I never want to see a phone again!_ I shook my head and then turned my face towards the river and sighed.

Dad spoke again, reading my thoughts. "You're going to miss this place when we go to New Hampshire, aren't you?"

I nodded. It was a hard thing to think of leaving Forks. I would be glad to see the rest of the family again, but somehow this town always seemed like my proper home. All my most important memories were here and for the last few months, I had been part of the community. I had loved living with Grandpa and I loved the big house and the surrounding forest. I felt more at home here than anywhere else on the planet.

"I'll miss it too," he said kindly. "And you know how much Bella loves it here."

He was right; all three of us seemed to feel a special connection with the peninsula and the people we knew here. My thoughts turned to Grandpa, Sue and Seth. They had been so good to me; I probably hadn't done enough to show how much I appreciated it.

"I'm sure they know."

_Thanks Dad._ I smiled wryly. _I'll take your word for it._

My mind wandered from Seth to Jake. I was glad to be leaving now, it had taken me a while to let go, but I knew that it would be easier for us both, when I was gone. I turned to look at Dad; he was watching me with a sympathetic expression.

"I know you can read my mind, but there's something I need to say out loud. I don't want it locked in my head anymore."

"Alright." His expression was serious.

"You were right, what you said about not leaving it too late with Jake." I had never spoken about this to anyone. It was hard to say the words, but at the same time I felt a heavy weight lift, so I continued. "I acted like a melodramatic idiot and made a terrible decision. I can live with my mistake, but I want you to know that I'm sorry for dismissing your advice. I was wrong."

I looked at him and saw that he was frowning at the ground. _You do forgive me don't you? _

His eyes shot up. "Nessie, there's nothing to forgive. You did your best; no one can do more than that."

I smiled, feeling relieved. _Thanks, that makes me feel a lot better._ My father frowned again, but I couldn't understand why. I was sure that he meant what he said; he didn't hold my mistakes against me. He shook his head.

"I'm frowning because I should have done more to help you, instead of leaving you floundering. I was in a unique position to interfere and I didn't. I'm the one who should be saying sorry."

I shook my head indignantly. _That's silly; none of this is your fault! You tried to advise me and I wouldn't listen. Anyway, I still have him for a friend, so I haven't entirely lost out. I know he loves me, in a way…_

"I should tell you about Jacob…" he tried to speak, but I raised my hand in protest.

"That's ok. Jake has his own life and it really isn't my business," I said firmly. I didn't want to think about it anymore. My dad deliberated for a minute and then seemed to accept what I had said. I smiled and changed the subject.

"So… another Cullen graduation tomorrow!"

* * *

**Author's note:**

**Just another big thank you for all the really great reviews I've had since last time, it's been so amazing, thanks guys! And also additions to lists too, I really appreciate the positive vibes!**

**I've tried to PM everyone, but I haven't got contact details for Bruna in Brazil, so I'm sending you a special thank you for such a fantastic review, it was a goodie! :) **

**Anyway, have a lovely weekend, I'll post again in the week. Please keep reviewing... :) Mad**


	24. Nessie, graduation

**Chapter 24. **

**Nessie - graduation**

"It might be the first time, but it won't be the last," said Dad, as he hugged me.

"Good luck, sweetheart, make sure that Grandpa takes some pictures." My mom added, kissing me goodbye.

"Don't worry, I'm prepared!" Grandpa answered from the front seat of the police cruiser. I got in next to him and cheerfully slammed the door.

"I'll give you the lowdown later. Love you, Mom," I waved. "Bye, Dad."

"We'd better be going, we don't want to be late," said Grandpa, adding jokingly. "This day has come around quicker than I expected."

"Ha, ha." I rolled my eyes. We drove away from the house and I saw my parents watching me wistfully. I sighed; I would have loved to have them at my graduation. But at least I could show them my memories later. This thought made me feel better, which wasn't difficult today. I was so excited that I could hardly sit still.

I had survived my senior year at high school and made proper friends. I had managed to be human, sort of. Anyway, the school believed I was and that was the important thing. It had been harder than I had expected and much more confusing. But here I was, on my way to get my diploma. It was silly, but I viewed it as my official certificate of humanity, real proof that I had made it.

"Is Seth picking up Sue?" I asked.

"Yeah, they're going to meet us at the school, with Jake."

I nodded approvingly. This was a day for the people who had known me forever. I was glad that I would have some family representation, in spite of my parents' absence. And I was touched that Jacob had asked to come as well.

We turned into the main road and found ourselves trailing another car. Unfortunately, the driver slowed down as soon as she spotted the police cruiser. I started to worry that we might be crawling at this speed the whole way to school. I glanced impatiently at my watch.

"Do you think we'll make it on time?" I fretted.

"Well, I could always put on my lights and speed the whole way there," smiled Grandpa. If only he was serious!

I frowned; I didn't want to miss my big moment. A second later, all thoughts of graduation were completely erased from my mind. The sudden shift in my focus was caused by a deer breaking from the forest, right into the path of the car in front. The whole thing happened so quickly. The driver, having no time to brake, swerved to avoid hitting the deer and skidded off the road, crashing into a tree.

"_Oh, God!"_ I cried, watching the crushing impact.

Credit to Grandpa, he stayed pretty calm and managed to escape hitting either the deer or the other car. He slowed and pulled into the side of the road, stopping the car abruptly.

"Geez! Nessie, are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I glanced over my shoulder. "What about that woman? She must be hurt..!"

"You wait here." He gave me a stern look and climbed out of the cruiser. I ignored this instruction and jumped out after him. He didn't say anything and we hurried along the grassy verge to the wrecked car. The engine was smoking and I could hear shallow breathing coming from the driver's side.

I was the first to reach the car. The whole front section was crushed and the windscreen and front windows were smashed. I leaned down and peered into the window. The driver was leaning, unconscious, over the steering wheel. At least she had been wearing a seat belt. Her head was bleeding badly and there was already a strong smell of blood. Grandpa hurried around to the driver's side and reaching through the broken window, tried to open the door.

He pulled at the handle, with no success. "I can't get this damn door open!" He exclaimed. "It's all bent out of shape."

Then he gently felt the pulse of the unconscious woman. "She's still alive, thank God." I could have told him that, I could still hear her faint breathing and erratic heartbeat.

I came to his side and looked into the car. "It's probably safer not to move her." Glancing under the steering wheel, I could see pieces of the frame had twisted around her, like a hideous cage. "Grandpa, her legs look trapped."

"I'm going to call for an ambulance. We may need the fire department to cut her out." Grandpa stood up straight and headed back to his police radio.

I waited with the woman. She was bleeding pretty heavily, so I tore strips off my dress and did my best to bind her injuries. I tied them good and tight, hoping to stem the flow of blood. That was when I caught the ominous smell of burning gas.

"Grandpa!" I yelled. "The car's on fire!"

He was standing by the cruiser, speaking on the radio, through the car window. He stared at me in horror and ended his conversation.

Dropping the radio, he ran towards me shouting. "Nessie, get away from there!"

"We have to get her out first!"

"She's trapped inside." He sounded desperate. "Maybe we can put the fire out!"

I had less than a second to decide whether or not this stranger's life was worth me keeping up the pretence of normality for Grandpa. What the hell, he had seen me grow from a baby to an adult in seven years! I grabbed the car door and wrenched it right off.

Tossing the door aside, I leaned into the car and put my arm under the steering wheel, reaching for the framework that was trapping the driver. I twisted and pushed the shards of metal away. Glancing out of the broken windscreen, I could see licks of flame, appearing around the edge of the hood. I had to work quickly.

"Grandpa, can you help me?" I said, hurriedly glancing over my shoulder, as I undid her seatbelt. He was watching me with his jaw hanging open, but as soon as I made my request, he kicked into action.

"Sure, I'll try to keep her head steady."

I put my arms around the limp body and lifted her, as gently as I could, out of the driver's seat. Grandpa supported her head and shoulders as I moved her away from the car. We carried her over to the police cruiser and carefully laid her on the ground. I prayed that my intervention hadn't hurt her.

"Look at that!" Grandpa said in horror.

I pulled my eyes away from the woman and saw that the whole car was now consumed in flames. I gasped in surprise; we had only just made it in time. I could hardly understand how the fire had taken hold so quickly. The car was almost completely gutted, within minutes. I was worried that the tree would be next. What if it started a forest fire? I left the woman's side and ran to wreck.

"_Nessie!_"

I grabbed the back of the burning car and heaved it away from the tree. My hands were scorched by the heat, so I was lucky that moving the car only took a moment. I deposited the flaming shell at a safe distance from the trees. Then I returned to Grandpa, who was on his knees, putting his jacket over the stranger.

"The car bounced back and the door fell off. Ok?" I said firmly.

He nodded and looked me in the eye. "That's what I saw."

I smiled and patted his shoulder. "How's she doing?"

"I'm not sure; I'm worried that she's getting too cold."

I took off my jacket and threw it over her, too. I was relieved to hear the sound of distant sirens.

"Don't worry, Grandpa. I can hear the ambulance. They'll be here soon."

He nodded and turned back to the woman. I was right, the ambulance and fire engine arrived within minutes. They were very professional, they had the woman strapped onto a gurney and driven away at incredible speed. What was left of the fire was put out in moments, and I was glad to see that no evidence was left of my intervention. Grandpa and I had to wait before we were questioned by the fire crew, which took a while.

While we were waiting, I inspected my blistered hands; I wasn't completely immune to fire. Thankfully, they were healing fast, I wondered if they would scar. I happened to glance at my watch, and that was when I remembered where we had been going, before the crash.

"Grandpa, my _graduation_!" I shrieked. He started in surprise; clearly I wasn't the only one who had forgotten.

"Oh… maybe we could still make it?" He said in a hopeful voice.

I held out my watch and his face fell. "It must be over by now," I groaned.

I fell silent, picturing the event. Would anyone wonder why I wasn't there? Jake and Sue must be worried, we hadn't even called. What about the school? Principal Green would be angry with me for skipping. My heart sank. Then, I imagined all my friends going up to collect their diplomas and my heart reached my shoes. I didn't get to be human after all.

"Well, it was lucky that we were here, not there," said Grandpa, philosophically. "For that lady, at least."

His common sense pulled me out of my depressing train of thought and I tried to quash my disappointment.

"I'd better call Jake and Sue."

"Good thinking." Grandpa nodded, and I went to fetch my cell phone from the cruiser.

There were about a dozen messages, all from Jake. I sighed and made the call. He answered immediately.

"Nessie, where are you? It's all over," was the first thing he said. His words brought a lump into my throat; I swallowed quickly.

"I'm sorry, we got held up on the road."

"What happened, are you ok?" He said anxiously.

"Yeah, we're fine. We saw a road accident and had to stop and help." I played down the incident.

"Oh… ok." Jake went quiet and then asked. "Are you still coming to meet us?"

I glanced down at my tattered dress, splattered with blood and mud.

"Um… I don't think so. We might be a while; we'll probably just go straight home."

He sounded disappointed. "Alright."

"Jake." I suddenly remembered. "Will you tell the school what happened? I don't want them to think I didn't bother." That lump in my throat was back.

"Sure. I'll do it now."

"Thanks… see you later."

"Bye, honey."

I told Grandpa that the others would meet us at home. He nodded and gave me a comforting smile.

Most of the way home, I was answering calls from my friends. I said that there was a hold up on the road and left it at that. They were all very sympathetic and tried to tell me about the event, but I managed to artfully dodge their descriptions. I never wanted to think about graduation ever again.

And I was repeatedly reminded that the stupid party was happening that night. I assured every caller that all the final arrangements were under control, and I would definitely be there. After all, I thought bitterly, they still needed someone to man the ticket table.

When at last the calls stopped, I sat in the passenger seat in complete silence, inwardly cursing myself for trying to be human. Look where it had got me. I had put huge efforts into arranging – and paying for – a party which I would now give anything to avoid. No doubt my whole evening would be spent sitting at a table in the entrance hall, collecting tickets from latecomers and listening to anecdotes about the graduation.

Thanks to my matchmaking efforts, I would probably be the only person there _without_ a date. I was honest enough to admit that I wasn't interested in any of the senior boys in that way, but it was still humiliating that no one had even considered asking me. Of course, the person who I actually wanted had agreed to attend the party, with my nemesis in tow. At least I wouldn't have to see much of them; the ticket table was nowhere near the dance floor.

My frown grew deeper and deeper. Grandpa didn't say anything, he was probably thinking about the accident. We pulled up outside the house and I noticed that Seth and Jacob's cars were already there. I sighed and followed Grandpa into the house. Sue was waiting in the hall. She took one look at my ragged, bloody dress and gasped.

"Nessie, what happened?"

Seth and Jake appeared in the living room doorway, but before they could comment, I brushed past them towards the stairs.

"I'm _fine_." I said in a forbidding tone. "We just helped another driver, that's all. I'm going to get cleaned up."

No one said anything, so I stalked upstairs and slammed the bathroom door. I turned the shower onto full blast, to block out the conversation that was presumably going on downstairs.

I finally reappeared an hour later and was glad to find that only Grandpa was in the house. He was on the phone when I went downstairs. He hung up and told me that he had spoken to the hospital. The driver was recovering just fine; she had regained consciousness and hadn't received any serious injuries.

"Her husband and kids are with her." He added, glancing at me.

I went into the living room and sat down on the sofa. "That's good." I said without enthusiasm.

Grandpa sighed and sat down heavily, next to me.

"Nessie, what's wrong?"

I looked at him in surprise. Grandpa was not the kind of person who liked to talk about things; he was a firm believer in the stiff upper lip. I deliberated for a moment, unsure of how much I should reveal.

"I'm just disappointed, I guess. I was looking forward to graduating."

He shook his head in frustration. "You have to get it into perspective. Because of you, two children still have a mother. The graduation is nothing compared to that."

"You're right. I know I'm being an idiot, but I can't help it." My voice shook.

He put his hand on my shoulder. "Honey, a class full of kids got their diplomas today, but only one saved a life. I'm glad it was you."

I rested my chin on my folded hands and sighed pensively. "You saw me today, Grandpa. You know I'll never be normal."

I was surprised when he chuckled. "I hope not. I like having a superhero for a granddaughter."

"That's the last thing I am." I glanced at him and his expression became suddenly serious.

"This wasn't the first time that you put yourself between a complete stranger and disaster. I'm proud of you, Nessie."

I looked at his earnest face and smiled. "Thanks, that means a lot."

He patted my shoulder and stood up. "Don't you have a party to get to?"

"I suppose so," I nodded half-heartedly.

Grandpa turned as he was leaving the room. "Seth and Jake said they would meet you there, I promised them I'd drop you off. Let me know, when you're ready to leave."

"Sure, thanks Grandpa."

* * *

**Author's note:**

**Just a quick note to say thanks for all the amazing feedback on the previous chapters, it is very inspiring. And a special note to the recent reviewers who I haven't been able to PM, including adventurelover1995 and Robmau as well as the anonymous ones :) They mean a lot, so thank you.**

**I will post again at the weekend, so you'll discover if Nessie does actually make it to her party... **

**Take care, keep reviewing! Mad :)**


	25. Nessie, the party

**Chapter 25. **

**Nessie – the party**

I dragged myself back upstairs. When I got into my room, I lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. I didn't want to go anywhere; I wondered if there was a way that I could skip the party. Then I thought about what Grandpa had said, about perspective, and realised that he was right.

A sense of shame washed over me. What on earth was I doing? Was I actually going to go to the trouble of organising a party for my friends and then refuse to attend it? Or worse still, turn up and sulk all night. I was doing this as a thank you; did I really want to spoil that? One thing had gone wrong and I had morphed into a selfish diva, just like I was when I ruined everything with Jake.

At that moment I understood that if I didn't make an effort for this party, I would be going straight back to square one. I had wanted to live positively, now I had my chance. Ok, I had missed graduation; well that was just one day, which was nothing compared to a whole year at school! No one could take that away from me. That settled it! I sat up, filled with a new sense of determination.

I hurried to my wardrobe and pulled out my dress; Aunt Alice had brought it back from her recent trip to Paris. I carefully lifted the beautiful silk creation from its bag. It would be easy to face any party in a dress like this.

Aunt Alice really had outdone herself with my attire. My dress was made of bronze silk satin; the colour picked up the red lights in my hair and contrasted nicely with my skin. The strapless bodice had a row of stiff silky folds across the chest, above a corseted waist. The skirt was knee length and fitted, showing off my figure to its best advantage.

Doing my hair took me a while. I smoothed it back into a low bun, made of elaborate coils of hair. It was a shame that my skin was too hot to wear make-up. Instead I concentrated on my accessories. I didn't wear a necklace; I wore sparkling bracelets, twisted around my wrists and bronze stiletto sandals – which were also from Aunt Alice.

Gazing at my reflection, when I had finished dressing, I was pleased with the results. I somehow looked older and more sophisticated. I instantly laughed at my own vanity; I would add real glamour to the ticket table tonight! Grabbing my glittering silk purse, I headed downstairs.

"Grandpa, I'm ready when you are." I called in a sprightly voice.

"You're sounding a bit more cheerful." He said, walking out of the kitchen. He stopped dead when he saw me.

"What's wrong?" I asked nervously. Had I overdone it?

"Nothing… you look beautiful. You're so grown up, I can hardly believe it." He shook his head in surprise.

I smiled at the unexpected compliment. "You have to say that."

"You'll be the prettiest girl there, that's for sure." He said, as we went to the front door.

He dropped me at the Garden Hotel, well before the party was due to start. The instant I walked through the front doors, I knew had done the right thing in coming. Kristy and Jason were already there, setting up the ticket table. They greeted me so cheerfully that the last remnants of my earlier depression fell away, completely forgotten. They both looked fantastic in their evening clothes.

"You guys look great." I smiled and they glanced at me with pleased expressions.

"Nessie, _where_ did you get that dress!" Kristy demanded admiringly.

"It was a gift from my aunt."

"_My_ aunt gave me a hot water bottle last Christmas!" She grinned. "Mind you, it was useful..!"

I asked if there were any last minute arrangements that needed checking. By the time I was done, it was seven thirty and the first guests had started to arrive. Every bit of effort that I had put into the evening became instantly worthwhile, when I caught sight of Richard and Ruth approaching the ticket table arm-in-arm.

I wasn't quite the only dateless person there, but I was pleased to notice that all the singles arrived together in chattering groups; absolutely no one was on their own. It was great to see how many students had also brought other friends, and brothers and sisters.

Copious quantities of food disappeared at a startling rate and the fruit punch quickly became a _very_ suspicious cocktail! A great selection of music tempted large numbers of people onto the dance floor, from early in the evening. The function room was buzzing with infectious excitement, and from my table in the hallway, I had a chance to speak to everyone arriving.

It was nice how many people stayed and chatted at the ticket table. My friends were popping back and forth every five minutes, to say hello and pass on gossip. I found that I was having a surprisingly social time and really enjoying myself. Oliver fetched me a glass of the suspicious punch and Leanne brought over a plate of snacks, which I stealthily offloaded onto new arrivals.

By nine, most of the guests had arrived. I was concerned that there was still no sign of Jake, Seth or Marie. Earlier, I had been too busy to notice their absence, but now wondered if they were going to show. I decided not to worry; I could always catch a lift home with someone else. There was _no way_ I was going to run home in these shoes!

Eventually the ticket table became quiet, so Jason suggested that I pack up and join the party. This seemed like a sensible idea. I cleared away the mess of tickets and went into the function room. It looked lovely. The sun had set and the veranda doors were now closed. The main lights inside had been lowered and fairy lights twinkled from the opulent flower arrangements.

The room was full and everyone was smiling and laughing, just the way I had hoped they would be. I enthusiastically skipped onto the dance floor; having spent the last two hours sitting in one place, I had energy to burn. Kristy and Jason waved me over to where they were dancing and I happily joined their group.

"Hey Nessie, I didn't know you were such a good dancer." Jason complimented me.

"She can do everything." Kristy grinned and poked my arm.

I laughed and tried not to think about Jacob's tardiness. The evening wore on and it became pretty clear that I had been stood up by Seth and Jake. It was so out of character that I wondered if something had happened; until I remembered my offhand behaviour that afternoon.

I secretly speculated if I was going to spend the rest of my life screwing up. I had to smile at this thought. It seemed that this year, I had developed real talent for making everything complicated; apparently, I had a human side, after all. For some reason this thought cheered me, so I just stayed on the dance floor, refusing to let anything bring me down.

I was dancing with Oliver when I felt a hand on my arm. I glanced up and found myself staring into a familiar face. My mouth dropped open in surprise. Jacob was here and he was dressed in an immaculate, black evening suit.

"Jake!"

I was so used to seeing him in shorts, that I hardly recognised this handsome stranger. I noticed how his well-cut jacket seemed almost moulded to his broad shoulders, and the elegant lines of the suit seemed to accentuate his athletic physique.

He never took his dark eyes from mine. "Can I cut in?"

Oliver gave me an encouraging smile and let Jacob take his place. "See you later, Nessie."

Jake took hold of one of my hands and slipped the other around my waist.

"Sorry, I'm late. I got held up." He smiled, apologetically.

"That's ok." I looked up and grinned. "Wow Jake. You look amazing… sort of like James Bond!"

He laughed. "That's appropriate, since Alice had this suit made in London."

"Since when does Alice do your clothes shopping?" I asked, in surprise.

"She insisted on taking my measurements, at Christmas. She said you might need someone to 'escort you out', and I wasn't allowed to let the side down."

"And I thought she couldn't see your future!"

He looked down at me admiringly. "I'm the one who should be saying 'wow'. You look beautiful."

I flushed and let my eyes fall. Glancing around me, I could see other couples on the dance floor watching us. This was no surprise; Jake looked so tall and distinguished, he instantly drew all eyes to him. He pulled me a little closer, as we moved in time to the music and I gently rested my head against his shoulder.

Jacob was quiet, like me. I didn't want to speak, afraid to spoil the moment. At the end of the song, I was unsure if he wanted to continue dancing. His eyes met mine, questioningly.

"Would you like a breather?"

Not really. But maybe he wanted a chance to dance with Marie. I hid my reluctance and nodded.

"Sure."

I led him off the dance floor, before he had a chance to register my disappointment, and headed for the food table. By now most of the food had been eaten, but there was still a little of the suspicious punch left. I handed Jake a glass.

"That'll put hairs on your chest."

He grinned. "I'm not sure if I want to phase in this suit, it cost more than my house." He took a sip and pulled a face. "Exactly how many bottles of vodka were poured into this?"

"Kristy counted seven different guys spiking it, but there may have been more."

Jake grimaced and put down his glass. "I swear peppermint schnapps got in there somewhere… and possibly a bottle of Malibu."

I laughed and glanced around me, searching the crowd for Seth and Marie. They were nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Seth?" I didn't want to ask about Marie.

A roguish grin spread across Jake's face. "He's not coming tonight."

I frowned in surprise. "Why not?"

Jacob glanced at the people standing nearby, who were clearly watching us. Taking my arm, he gently propelled me towards the veranda doors.

"Let's get some air."

I threw him a confused look and allowed myself to be guided outside. As I stepped into the darkness, I was struck by the beauty of the evening. The night was very still, and a warm, fragrant breeze caressed my skin. The hotel was a lovely old building, with an elegant terraced garden. I moved forwards, resting on the balustrade. I could see garden below and the moonlit bay in the distance.

Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Jake closing the door behind us. "I thought that we'd do better without the audience!" He chuckled.

"What's with you?" I griped.

"Don't you want to know what happened to Seth?" He asked, leaning on the rail, next to me.

I eyed him suspiciously. "I know that you're dying to tell me."

"True," he grinned.

"Well..?"

"He imprinted!"

"You're joking!" I gasped. I knew he'd had plenty of girlfriends but, like everyone else, I had given up waiting for Seth to imprint.

"I'm serious. It happened when we were getting ready to leave my house." He shook his head, smiling in disbelief.

"But… who?" I was still too astounded to manage a proper sentence.

Jake looked at me in surprise, as if it should be obvious. "Marie."

"_Marie! _That's not possible..!"

"I know it's hard to believe. I never knew it could be this way either." He was clearly still trying to get used to the idea. "When I first saw Marie, I thought they were made for each other, I was like 'imprint already'. But he met her and nothing happened, so I assumed she wasn't the one. I mean, for everyone else imprinting was definitely a first-sight thing.

"I've never heard of delayed imprinting before. Trust Seth! He's known this girl for months and then this evening, she walked through the door and it was like he was really seeing her for the first time. I don't understand it. Maybe it was the evening dress..!" He speculated with a smile.

"But," I protested. "She doesn't love him."

"Are you kidding? She's been crazy about him since they first met. Why do you think she kept coming over to Charlie's house?"

Oh!

"So, are they together now?" I asked in a bemused voice.

"Yeah, he had to tell her about the wolf thing. That was tough, but she took it surprisingly well." He frowned to himself. "Almost too well; like she already knew. None of the guys would have told her… I bet it was one of the girls!"

I nodded in agreement, though in truth I could barely concentrate on what he was saying.

"It was probably Claire. She's a real big mouth." He glowered and then added in a resigned tone. "I'm not going to bother trying to find out. Those girls get away with murder, but it's hard to say anything about it – the guys go all touchy if I try. Anyway, whoever it was, I guess they did Seth a favour."

For once, I was completely bereft of speech. My mind reeled, as I analysed the last few months from this new perspective. Marie had been in love with Seth all along! How did Jacob feel about that, he seemed to be ok, but maybe he was putting on a brave face? Was he that good an actor? I was afraid to know the answer. It might crush the new hopes that were unexpectedly blossoming in my heart.

Jake watched me anxiously. "What's wrong? I thought you'd be happy for them."

I looked into his face, still feeling dazed. "I am… I'm just so surprised. I thought that you…" I stopped myself just in time, turning my eyes towards the shadowy garden.

Next to me Jake gave a sharp intake of breath. "_What_ did you think?"

"Um…" I didn't meet his eyes. "I thought that you might be interested in Marie."

"_What?_" Jake gasped in surprise. I couldn't help glancing at him, his expression was thunderstruck.

"It's not such a far-fetched idea," I said defensively. "You'd be well suited."

Jake gave an exasperated huff and left my side.

"Jake?" I said, as he paced along the veranda. He paused at the top of the garden steps and glared at me.

"Is that what you were hoping for?" He demanded. Without waiting for me to answer he continued angrily. "Don't you understand me at all?"

I approached him and he moved away, down the steps. He halted at the bottom with his back to me; while I hovered in confusion, on the veranda.

"What do you mean?" I whispered.

He didn't answer and I spoke again. "Jacob, what is it?"

He turned, his eyes met mine and they held a defiant expression. "I could never be with Marie. I could never be with anyone else. Don't you understand?" He said fiercely. "I can't even _see_ anyone but you."

I froze; my eyes wide with surprise. Jacob glared up at me for a moment and then his expression softened.

"I'm sorry. I know you don't want to hear it, but I can't carry on this way." He gave me an apologetic smile. "I love you, Nessie. I've always loved you… and I don't think I can live without you."

His eyes burned with the intensity of his feelings. For a moment I was unable to speak, a wave of the most pure happiness threatened to overwhelm me. At last, I found my voice.

"You don't have to."

His expression was serious as I came down the steps. He moved forward to meet me on the stairs. Staring deep into his eyes, I reached out my hand and softly trailed my fingers across his cheek, showing him exactly how I felt.

As the visions were revealed, amazement dawned on his face. His eyes stayed locked on mine, even after I had lifted my hand away. Reaching out, Jake caught me in around the waist and drew me into his arms. His face swam before my eyes, before he slowly bent his dark head and pressed his lips to mine.

He kissed me gently and then, lifting his face, smiled down at me with an expression of deep joy. I slid my arms around his neck and pulled him back to me. This kiss was just as sweet, but more intense. Closing my eyes, I could feel the heat raging between us. His arms gripped me tighter and I let my fingers twist though his hair, pulling him closer, as our lips parted.

We kissed each other so fiercely, it was probably lucky that we were both superhuman. Jake lifted my jaw and left a trail of burning kisses down my throat; all the time murmuring my name. I caught his face between my hands and met his smouldering eyes.

"I love you." I smiled.

* * *

**Author's note:**

**Hi there, I just wanted to apologise for the delay in posting this chapter. Honestly, it wasn't my fault... :)**

**I've been trying to post it since Saturday evening. Unfortunately, this website has been experiencing some technical problems and wouldn't let me (or by the looks of it, a lot of other people) post their new chapters. There must be a fair number of frustrated writers/readers out there because of this... :)**

**I only got around the posting block because my friend sent me instructions (which I'd be happy to share with anyone who asked) of how to bypass it.**

**Anyway, aside from that, I'd like to say another thank you for the lovely reviews and additions to lists, since last time. They mean a lot to me. And a ****special note to Robmau and Bruna Brazil, I'm sorry that I can't PM you, I wish I could, because your comments were so nice :)**

**I will update again later in the week (if I'm allowed), the story's not over quite yet... :) Keep sending reviews, they make me soooo happy, Mad :)**


	26. Nessie, the truth will set you free

**Chapter 26. **

**Nessie – the truth will set you free**

"I suppose, now you can say, 'I told you so?'"

I wasn't sure how much time had passed, but I was now sitting with Jake on the veranda steps, the party all but forgotten. He had pulled me onto his lap and I sat peacefully, with my head resting on his shoulder. His arms held me possessively as he pressed soft kisses onto my neck, but he pulled back at these words and smiled.

"Do you really think I would be dumb enough to say that, _now_?" He grinned.

"Will you save it for tomorrow?" My eyes fell and he lifted my chin to recapture my gaze.

"I'll never say it. I don't think it."

"You should." I muttered, ashamed.

He asked gently. "Nessie, what's the matter?"

I sighed. "I've wanted to tell you for a long time, but I could never find the courage. I'm sorry for saying all those terrible things and going away. I was wrong…" My voice broke and I threw my arms around his neck, hiding my face in his shoulder.

He tried unsuccessfully to catch my eye and eventually gave up, with a frustrated sigh. "I told you before, you don't need to apologise. I know why you acted the way you did. I even understood at the time."

"Were you upset?" My voice was muffled by his jacket.

He stroked my hair, comfortingly. "Not with you."

"But..?"

"Do you really want to have this conversation?" His voice was grim.

"I need to know. Please, Jake. Tell me…"

He sighed in resignation. "Ok, I was pretty upset. But mostly, I was going crazy worrying about you. I told Seth he wasn't allowed to get involved, but he still knew how unhappy you were. Every time we phased, I saw you in his mind. It was awful, seeing you so sad. I couldn't stand it.

"Poor Seth, in the end, he avoided being in wolf form at the same time as me. I don't blame him. Apart from my stress about his memories, I don't think my mind was exactly a great place to be." He couldn't quite keep the bitterness out of his tone. I shuddered, tightening my hold on him and he rubbed my back. "It's ok, it wasn't your fault."

I shook my head and could feel tears stinging behind my eyelids. "Yes, it was."

"I should have tried to sort things out sooner." He said regretfully. "I finally realised that, the night you were hunted in the forest. I couldn't believe I'd let things get so out of hand, I hated myself for abandoning you."

"No…" I protested, but he carried on, as if I hadn't spoken.

"And the whole time I was tracking you, all I could think was, 'why did I leave her alone?'" Instinctively he pulled me closer, as if protecting me from an unseen threat. I caught my breath and he continued.

"You've given me some scares this past year, but when we caught that revolting scent crossing yours, it was one of the worst moments of my life… I thought I was going to be too late!" His tortured voice became suspended for a moment; I could feel his hands starting to tremble. My own memories came back to me.

I spoke softly, my tone as anguished as his. "When I was running from that monster, I imagined never seeing you again… Oh, Jake! When you saved me, I _knew_ then." Placing my hand on his neck, I showed him my revelation.

He brushed away the tears that trickled down my cheeks and kissed me. "I had no idea. When I held you, I nearly told you how I felt, then and there. I wasn't even sure afterwards that I hadn't," he added ruefully. "I was just so relieved; I couldn't remember what the hell I'd said."

"I would have remembered if you'd said _that_." I smiled.

"As it was, I could hardly let you out of my sight again. That night, when you woke up calling my name; it was all I could do, not to run straight up to your room."

I glanced shyly at him. "I wished that you had. I wanted you, I've wanted you ever since."

"I can't believe it." He said, laughing with exasperation. "All those months, I was fighting to hide how I really felt about you. I knew that you were drifting away and there was nothing I could do about it. It was a nightmare; I was thinking about you all the time, but I was sure it would spoil everything if you found out. I couldn't face losing you again."

I leaned forward and kissed him.

"Ahem." There was a small cough, behind us. Jake and I looked round to see Leanne's curious face peering through the veranda doors.

"Sorry Nessie! A lot of us are leaving and we wanted to check how you're getting home." She threw a meaningful smirk in my direction and said. "I'll tell the others you've made your own arrangements. By the way…" she added with a grateful smile. "Everyone's been saying what a fantastic night they've had. Thanks Nessie!"

"Oh! Thanks…" I stuttered. She shot me a final look and disappeared.

"I guess you'll have some explaining to do, next time you see her," Jake teased.

"At least she might stop bugging me for your number," I said sourly. "Now, where was I?"

He then, very helpfully, reminded me.

I couldn't believe it was past five in the morning, when Jake finally dropped me home. I knew that Grandpa wasn't expecting me back early, but I hoped he wouldn't find out how late it really was.

Jacob walked me to the door, holding my hand. It felt natural and nice. We were both looking less done up; I had unpinned my hair and he had taken off his jacket and tie, several hours earlier. I glanced up at the sky; the morning light was glowing around us.

"I can't believe its sunrise, already," I said, feeling a little sad. "That means that my best night ever is over."

"I guess so," he agreed, but added triumphantly. "But it's also our first day together."

"Good point." I leaned forward and kissed him appreciatively.

He raised his eyebrows. "Do you actually want to get any sleep?"

"The jury's still out on that one," I smiled. Then, looking up at him, I suddenly felt anxious. "You'll come back later, won't you?"

He lowered his head and gazed reassuringly into my eyes. "I'll always come back."

I nodded wordlessly and unlocked the front door. I could hardly tear myself away, as I stepped into the house. Closing the front door behind me, I felt a sudden wave of separation anxiety. I ran quietly up to my bedroom. Hurrying over to the window, I pushed it open and leaned out.

Jacob was standing on the front lawn, still watching the house. He glanced up when he heard the window open.

"Jake!" I whispered.

"What are you doing?" He whispered back in an amused voice.

I blushed sheepishly. "I missed you." Wow, that sounded corny, even to me!

Before I had a chance to say anything else, he had bounded towards the house and with one agile movement, caught hold of the tree by my window and swung himself onto the windowsill. He threw his legs over the ledge and stepped into my bedroom.

"Jake, are you crazy?" I said, trying to smother my laughter with my hand. This would not be the moment for Grandpa or Sue to wake up.

"I missed you too." He said huskily and caught my face in his hands, before leaning down and softly kissing me. I closed my eyes, losing myself in the moment and then he released me with a sigh. A second later I heard a soft thud. My eyes flew open and I found myself alone in the room. I quickly looked out of the window and saw him waving goodbye as he jogged to his car.

Reluctantly closing the window, I started getting ready for bed. Although I had been up for most of the night, when I finally crawled under the covers, it took me ages to fall asleep. I was too happy. I replayed the whole evening in my head and built beautiful dream castles. How did people in love ever get any rest?

"So, how was last night?" Grandpa asked when I stepped into kitchen, just before lunch.

Sublime, magical, the best night ever..!

"Err… nice."

"Jake seemed to have enjoyed himself, he already called but I said you were sleeping. He didn't want me to wake you."

I glanced at Grandpa, trying to look casual as I poured myself a glass of juice. "Um, what did he say about last night?"

"Just that the party went well, and he hoped that no one was woken up when he brought you home."

Jacob was clearly good at this. Sue came into the room and I noticed that she was looking in high spirits.

"Good morning, honey," she smiled happily.

I remembered what Jake had told me about Seth and Marie. I wondered if she had been hoping that they would get together from the very start. It would certainly explain why she had always looked annoyed when Grandpa talked about Marie and Jake.

"Good morning," I hugged her exuberantly, wanting to share my good mood, then I hugged Grandpa too. They both seemed surprised, but pleased. "Where's Seth?"

"He's at La Push," Sue answered, looking a little smug.

Yes, she was definitely delighted about Seth and Marie! I was pleased for them too. It was strange the way that my resentment of Marie seemed to have melted overnight, like frost in the blazing sun. Well that made sense; Jacob was a very solar sort of person.

I glanced out of the window and saw that it was a glorious sunny day. How appropriate to my mood. And it was a Saturday, so Jake wouldn't be at work. I suddenly felt a strong urge to see him. Drinking my juice in one gulp; I put down the glass and ran upstairs to shower and change.

I was ready and dressed in record time. Knowing as I did, that bright sunny days were a rarity, I took the opportunity to wear a pair of fitted surf shorts and a small cotton top, which tied up with strings around my neck and back. I slipped on some beach shoes and headed downstairs. I stuffed my dark glasses and phone into the purse I'd grabbed from the hall table, and hurried out of the house.

"I've just got a couple of things to do, Grandpa." I called on the way out. "If Mom calls, can you tell her I'll be over later?"

"Sure thing. See you later, sweetheart."

I jumped into my car, on my way to La Push. I wondered if Jake would be surprised to see me. He'd probably be pleased. I followed the winding road, through the sunlit forest. It was hard to believe that only yesterday Grandpa and I had seen that awful accident. I slowed down a little and scanned the trees for stray deer. It would be unlikely that – with my reflexes – I would hit anything, but I didn't want to be held up today.

My phone rang and I jumped. I saw the caller id and picked up. "Hey, Dad."

"Hi, sweetheart. How was the party?"

"Um… great. I think everyone had a really nice time." I know I did!

"I'm glad you went, Charlie told us about your graduation. I'm sorry about that; I know how much you were looking forward to it." He said sympathetically.

"It's ok. I suppose – being a Cullen – I'll probably have other chances."

"True..!" He paused. "So, did Jacob and Seth go to the party?"

"Jake did," I hoped that I didn't sound nervous when I answered. "But Seth was detained," I added cryptically.

My father was quick to pick up the note of mystery in my voice. "What happened to him?"

"Don't worry, it was nothing bad. I'll tell you, when I see you this afternoon." I had a vague hope that I could use Seth's news to distract from my own.

"Ok, we'll see you then."

"Bye, Dad." I hung up in relief. I was no good at this cloak and dagger thing.

* * *

**Author's notes:**

**Hello again, I just wanted to say a special thank you for all the lovely comments since last time, I'm glad that everyone was pleased with the outcome of the last chapter! All the reviews have meant a lot to me :) Also thanks to Robmau (cause I can't PM you!). **

**I was contacted about how to bypass the posting problems. Just in case there is anyone out there who is too shy to ask me, I have included it here, good luck:**

**If you click the "edit" button in my stories then it takes you to this link: login(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/story/story_edit_property(dot)php?storyid=NUMBERHERE**

**If you take the number from the end there and then type this in directly: login(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/story/story_edit_content(dot)php?storyid=NUMBERHERE**

**I will post again next week (if I can, with all the technical stuff), have a great weekend, Mad :)**


	27. Nessie, battle of wills

**Chapter 27. **

**Nessie – battle of wills**

Taking the drive at an easier pace, gave me time to think about everything. It was strange how nervous I suddenly found myself. Irrational fears began to plague me as I approached the reservation. I started to wonder if Jake would really want me to make him a surprise visit. After all, we hadn't spoken since last night. Visions of all those television shows – where an unsuspecting girl drops in on her boyfriend, unannounced, and finds him with another woman – flew into my mind.

I shook my head; that was insane. Jake would _never _do such a thing, I felt bad for even thinking it. I had heard the expression 'madly in love', I felt like I was going crazy. These mood swings were seriously unsettling. Half an hour earlier, I had been on cloud nine. Now I was feeling an encroaching sense of doom. It didn't help that my school friends' advice about men raced through my head. How often had they said that guys don't like to be crowded?

This was exactly what I was doing right now! I was an idiot. I wouldn't find Jake with another girl, but that didn't mean that he wanted me hanging around all the time, like the proverbial ball and chain. My clinginess might drive him away! Then what would I do..? I worked myself up to such a pitch of anxiety, that by the time I arrived at La Push, I was practically shaking.

I seriously considered turning around and driving straight back to Grandpa's, but unfortunately, I passed Rachel and Billy on the road and they would be sure to tell Jake they'd seen me. Why did everyone have to know everyone else around here? For a second, I hated the whole Olympic Peninsula.

Now there was no going back. I hadn't brought my surf board; so I couldn't even pretend that I had just dropped by, on the way to the beach. I pulled up outside Jacob's house and my heart sank, he was standing outside and he wasn't alone. I didn't need witnesses. I pulled out my dark glasses and put them on; I wanted to make it hard for anyone to read my eyes.

Jacob was talking to Seth, Marie and Sam. Sam had his youngest son, Ben, with him. As usual, the guys were wearing just shorts. The only thing that made it strange was that, for once, it was appropriate to the weather.

As I stepped out of the car, they all turned towards me and Ben ran over to me.

"Nessie! Nessie!"

He jumped up and down until I gave him a hug and a kiss. The others chuckled and as I looked up, I straight away noticed how happy Seth and Marie seemed; they were just about glowing.

"Hey, Nessie. Sorry about last night." said Seth. Marie glanced nervously at me.

"Don't worry about it. I'm just glad everything worked out."

I cautiously peeked at Jake; he was beaming down at me and the expression on his face put Seth and Marie's joy to shame. He positively blazed with the strength of his feelings. All my ridiculous fears vanished and I smiled back.

Sam glanced from me to Jacob and gave a shrewd smile. "I'll talk to you later, Jake." He took his little boy's hand and gently tugged him away from me. "Come on Ben, Uncle Jake wants some time with Nessie too!"

Ben scowled, "No!"

I could see a battle brewing so I leaned down and gave him one last hug. "If you're a good boy now, I promise to come and see you soon. We can go to the beach together, ok."

This seemed to do the trick and a minute later, he left happily with Sam. As they went, Seth joked.

"It looks like you've got some competition Jake; you'll have to watch your back."

"What's new?" He grinned.

I smiled and walked to where they were standing. Seth and Marie stayed and chatted for a short time, before strolling away arm-in-arm. As she said goodbye, Marie threw me another wary look. This was surprising as I hadn't expressed any annoyance about the party.

Watching them go, I asked Jake. "What's with Marie?"

"She may have known about the wolves, but according to Seth, the vampires came as a bit of a shock." He sounded as if he was trying not to laugh.

"Oh, ok." I said in a subdued voice, keeping my face averted. I didn't feel like laughing at all. I just felt embarrassed, it was horrible being a freak, and now anotherperson knew about it. And, I thought bitterly, look how well _that_ news had gone down.

I could feel Jacob watching me. "Are you alright?" he asked, touching my arm.

I hated myself for bringing down the mood, so I faked a smile and said. "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" He didn't look entirely convinced, so I quickly changed the subject. "I hope you don't mind me coming over?"

He grinned and leaned down to kiss me. "Are you kidding, I've been waiting to see you since I left Charlie's house."

I let him lead me into the house and followed him into the tiny kitchen, pulling off my dark glasses as we got inside. Unsurprisingly, he wanted something to eat.

"Can I get you anything?" He asked cheerfully, opening the refrigerator. I leaned against the wooden door frame and shook my head.

"What are your plans today?" He asked.

"I going to see Mom and Dad, I promised to tell them about last night." I grimaced; when I had made that promise, I had not known that there would be anything to tell.

Catching my expression, Jake laughed. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"Would you?" I asked hopefully.

"Sure, it would be better to get it over with. Anyway…" he added thoughtfully. "I doubt they'll be very surprised."

I did not feel so confident about my parents' reaction to our news. I didn't bother to say anything though. He was right, it was better to get the whole thing over with. I couldn't avoid seeing my dad for the next six months!

Waiting for Jacob to make a sandwich, my mind returned to Marie's recent expression. It had been a mixture of suspicion and fear. Did she think I was a full vampire, or did she know I was a half-breed? I winced, I hated that term; years ago I had asked my family not to use it.

I didn't even notice that Jake was watching me with a grim countenance, until he said. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong, or are you going to wear that face all day?"

I opened my mouth to protest, but he interrupted. "Don't bother saying it's nothing, I'm not blind."

"I was just thinking about what you said… about Marie."

He frowned. "And?"

"It made me feel bad, like there's something wrong with me," I whispered, feeling humiliated.

Jake laid down his knife and stepped in front of me, placing his hands on my shoulders. "You don't honestly care what she thinks, do you?" He demanded.

"Yes, I do. Don't you?" I searched his dark eyes.

"No. Why would I?" He sounded genuinely surprised by the idea.

"Maybe it's different for you." _You belong_, I wanted to add.

I dropped my head and refused to look at him. Jake seemed to have a pretty fair understanding of what I was thinking. He took a step back and folded his arms over his chest. My eyes flashed to his face, and I saw that he was wearing a belligerent expression.

"You're not starting all that again, are you?"

"I don't know what you mean?" I lied, stubbornly raising my chin.

He wasn't fooled for a moment and it was clear that he wasn't going to back down either.

"Even though I hated it, I listened to you say all those things about yourself, because I thought it would make you happy to do things your way." He glared at me. "Your way was a disaster. I'm not going to make that mistake again."

I scowled back, trying to think of a clever retort, and he continued remorselessly. "If you want to talk like that, don't do it in front of me. I don't want to hear it. When are you going to get it through your head, that there is one place where you'll always belong and that's _with me_?"

We stood for a moment, glaring at each other. I didn't quite know what to say, so I stuck to a resentful. "Fine," and angrily turned my back to him, leaning my forehead against the door frame.

He didn't move immediately, maybe he was waiting for me to say something else. Well, he was going to have to wait a long time! Eventually I heard him take a step towards me. He didn't say anything; he just pushed my hair out of the way and started to kiss my bare shoulders, moving up the back of my neck and, turning my face with his hand, kissing my jaw and finally my mouth.

He didn't stop kissing me, as he pulled me around to face him. My insecurities evaporated the second our lips met, and all I could think about was the heat of his skin as he pressed me to the door frame. Jacob was right, I did belong with him. He was the only person who could make me feel completely at ease; I wanted to make him feel that way too.

I ran my fingers over his muscular chest and up around his neck. One of his warm hands was pressed against the skin of my back, and the other gently held my neck as he kissed it. The burning heat, which we had experienced on the previous night, seemed to have intensified. I now felt as if scorching flames were flickering across my skin.

Clasping him tighter around the neck, I wrapped my leg around his. He instantly responded, by sliding his hand behind my thigh and lifting me clean off my feet. I caught my legs around his waist as he moved his mouth back to mine. We stayed like this for a minute, still pinned to the door frame, until he pulled back.

"Wait!" He held his face away from mine, as I tried to catch my breath.

I leaned forwards and pressed my lips to his shoulder. He let me trail kisses across his flawless skin, before trying again. "Nessie, wait."

"Why?" I murmured. I didn't want to stop, I liked the way he felt. He eased his head back, his expression a mixture of frustration and amusement.

"Seriously, honey, I have to speak to your mind reading father this afternoon. Trust me when I say, there are some images I don't want to have in my head!" I pouted and he leaned forward to kiss my lower lip. "It will be bad enough as it is."

He put down me on the kitchen counter. "Now, do me a favour, just sit there and be good. I'll finish making lunch. It may be my last…" he added cryptically, kissing my cheek.

I had to smile at this. "How bad do you think it will be?" I reluctantly let him go.

"Hmmm," he considered my question. "Well, Bella will be ok. She's a romantic and she _can't _read minds. But Edward…" he shook his head.

"He's not that bad." I said, willing it to be true.

"That's easy for you to say. He won't blame _you_!" He teased.

"You can hide behind me." I suggested generously.

"That had better be a serious offer."

He picked up his plate and went into the living room. I hopped off the counter and poured two glasses of water then went to sit with him, on the sofa. I handed him a glass and started sipping my own. I mulled over the forthcoming visit to my parents. I suddenly had a thought.

"Have you told Billy… about us?"

He smiled broadly. "Sure, I told him this morning."

I glanced suspiciously at him. "And he doesn't mind?"

Jake sounded confused. "Mind what?"

Oh I don't know; maybe the fact that his only son has hooked up with a half-vampire? I looked away; our earlier dispute made me reluctant to say the words. Jake saw my discomfort and suddenly a look of comprehension dawned on his face.

"No, he doesn't!" He said in such a forbidding tone that I avoided meeting his eye.

Apparently, this was a sensitive subject. We lapsed into an uncomfortable silence. I bit my lip and tried to think of how to lighten the mood. Jacob beat me to it, by leaning over and stroking my cheek.

"You're not really worried about telling your mom and dad, are you?"

"No, I'm sure it will be fine."

Jake laughed at my solemn expression and then gave a mock frown. "You could have worn something less revealing. The way you look won't help me focus when I talk to Edward."

I looked up and caught his admiring gaze. Hiding my embarrassment, I pointed at his bare chest and threw the accusation back.

"You can talk."

"I'm going to put on a shirt." He protested.

"Well, I'm already wearing one," I said witheringly. "Anyway I'd have thought, after all your years in the pack, you would be able to control your thoughts by now."

He grinned, completely unabashed. "I'm good… but not that good." His eyes narrowed, an idea had clearly hit him. "Just to be on the safe side, try not to look sexy when we're there."

"What?" I gasped in surprise; I had never looked sexy in my whole life.

He smiled. "Ok, maybe that's a bit unrealistic. Just don't touch me, alright," he added firmly. "And I'll be fine."

I was rendered speechless by this conversation.

We arrived at big house around three o'clock. I tried to keep my mind on trivial topics as we headed up the drive. My parents came out to meet us, glittering in the sunshine. Jake opened the passenger door and took my hand. I glanced up at him and blushed.

Apparently, that was enough to let them know exactly how things stood between us. My mom gasped and my father raised his eyebrows. My mother stepped forward, as I climbed out of the car, and gave me a hug.

"I'm so glad." She whispered.

Dad just shook Jake's hand and said. "It's good to see you, Jacob."

That was _it_…?

I couldn't believe it. I spent the rest of the afternoon waiting for someone to say something more, but no one did. I could see that Jacob was trying hard to keep his thoughts focused. He didn't pay much attention to me and mostly chatted to my mom and dad. They were pleased to hear the news about Seth. My father admitted that Sue had been absolutely desperate for Seth to notice Marie. I listened to the conversation, without saying much.

I just enjoyed relaxing and watching Jake; he was so handsome. He hadn't aged a day in the time we'd known each other, but – I realised for the first time – his countenance had subtly altered. Sixteen years of Alpha responsibilities had left their mark on his features. Somewhere between the firm set of his jaw and the seriousness of his expression, I could detect increased maturity and strength of character.

I wanted to reach out and trace his brow and cheekbones with my fingers. My eyes trailed to the smooth skin of his neck, and I remembered how wonderful his throat smelled when I kissed it. What a shame he was wearing a shirt, I had preferred him this afternoon, when he'd had his bare chest pressed against…

I caught my father's eye and promptly turned bright red, I could only be grateful that Jacob and Mom hadn't noticed this silent exchange! I tried, with only moderate success, to keep a firmer hold on my imaginings for the rest of the afternoon.

Just before we left, Mom disappeared out of the room and then came back, carrying a tiny bag. Jake and Dad smiled when they saw my confused expression.

"I know that graduation wasn't quite what you'd hoped for," she said. "But we're so proud of how well you've done this year, that we wanted to give you a small graduation present anyway." She exchanged glances with the others. "This is from all of us really."

She dropped the bag into my hand. I already knew what it held, before I opened it.

I gasped. "Mom! You shouldn't have, it's your favourite." Opening the bag, I pulled out a silver charm bracelet. It had only two charms, a diamond heart and a wooden wolf. I had lost count of how many times I had taken this bracelet from of her jewellery box and tried it on. It was my favourite too.

"It seemed appropriate; it was also my graduation present." I knew the story very well.

I hugged her and kissed her cool cheek. "Thanks, I love it."

"She's better at accepting gifts than Bella," my father remarked to Jacob, who laughed.

"Should I be worried?"

When we were driving back to Grandpa's house, Jake sighed with relief. "This afternoon went more smoothly than I expected."

I nodded. "They didn't seem very surprised." It seemed that I was the only person who hadn't known what was coming.

"It helps if you can read minds." He grinned, squeezing my hand. "Speaking of which, I can't believe that I managed to keep my thoughts in check this afternoon. Of course, I was really trying. I'm sure I'll slip sometime, but it was worth it today. I wanted to make a good first impression – of us."

He was so pleased with his efforts, that I didn't have the heart to tell him what my dad must have heard coming from me.

* * *

**Author's notes:**

**Hello again, I just wanted to say a thanks to everyone who has reviewed and added me to their lists, I'm really grateful and I have loved reading all the comments, they have put a smile on my face :) I'm sorry that I can't send PMs to everyone, so I'll just say a little thank you to Robmau and the anonymous reviewer now. Thanks guys!**

**I will post again soon, have a lovely week everyone, Mad :)**


	28. Bella, happy

**Chapter 28. **

**Bella – happy**

I was sorry that Nessie's graduation had been such a washout. I knew how much it meant to her and was worried that she might be thrown into a state of dejection. She was trying so hard, it seemed unfair that things weren't working out better. I remembered how everyone used to call me a danger magnet and seriously started wondering if bad luck was hereditary. It seemed as if she couldn't do anything without disaster striking, whether it was going to a party, or graduation, or just for a run.

Edward called her the next day, and told me afterwards that she wasn't very forthcoming on the subject. My spirits sank; she had probably taken the whole thing to heart, and just when she finally seemed to be recovering from that terrible experience with the werewolf.

"What are we going to say to her, you know she'll be miserable?"

I hoped that Edward would have a sensible suggestion.

"I don't know."

He didn't.

I frowned and went out to the garden, somehow hoping that I could find a solution there. I was upset to learn that Seth hadn't gone to her party; I knew how much Nessie loved him, he had been a real moral support to her this year. At least Jacob had gone, but who knew if that was a good thing. The relationship between them now seemed so off track, that I had serious doubts if it could ever be resolved.

It was so frustrating, I felt that they were meant to be together, but they had both put up such defensive barriers that there was no breaking through. I knew that Edward was reluctant to get involved, but I was reaching my limit. I was tired of watching Nessie being brave; I just wanted her to be happy. I _had_ to say something; this ridiculous situation couldn't go on.

I started pacing back and forth across the lawn, lost in thought. Edward had said that she was coming over this afternoon; maybe I should say something then. I stopped in my tracks, making the decision. I was going to talk to Nessie about Jake, and for once she was going to listen!

I chose not to mention my plan to Edward; I was worried that he might try to put me off. I thought that things would go better if he was given no warning. By three o'clock I was completely resolved; I had practically written a speech. It was fortunate that Edward was absorbed at the piano; otherwise he might have noticed my silent plotting.

I heard a car coming up the drive. It didn't sound like Nessie's car, but I still recognised it. I turned to Edward.

"Did she say that Jake was driving her?"

He stopped playing and glanced at me. "No, but it's definitely them." He then pulled a puzzled expression.

"Edward, what is it?"

"There's something wrong. They aren't talking to each other. Jake is rebuilding an engine in his head and Nessie is concentrating very hard on surfing techniques."

I sighed with exasperation. If Jacob was there, then I wouldn't be able to talk to Nessie about him. And it sounded as if they were arguing again. Fantastic!

"What's the problem _this _time?" I snapped and surprisingly, Edward smirked at me.

"I'm not quite sure…" he said slowly. "But I have a feeling we're about to find out."

Edward was clearly determined to speak in riddles, so I got up and went to find out for myself. Edward followed me outside as they drew up to the house. Nessie was sitting in the passenger seat, looking tense. Things were obviously going very badly. Jacob got out of the car, his expression wasn't much better.

He went to open the door for Nessie, and as he looked down at her, his countenance underwent a stunning transformation. I had grown used to seeing Jacob guard his feelings around Nessie, so I was not expecting to see him gaze at her with such a concentrated look of love and devotion. He reached down and took her hand.

Before I'd had a chance to make sense of what was going on, Nessie shyly raised her eyes to his. I gasped as I saw Jacob's expression perfectly mirrored on Nessie's face. She only glanced at him for a moment, before her cheeks became tinged with pink and she looked away, but in that second there was no mistaking the depth of her feelings.

I tried to pull my scattered thoughts together as she climbed out of the car. I was stunned, and happy, and relieved all at the same time. I didn't have a clue how it had happened, but by some miracle, the barriers seemed to have been swept away.

Her expression was anxious as I came towards her, she was probably worried that I might not approve. I hugged her tightly, keen to give her reassurance.

"I'm so glad."

I heard her breathe a sigh of relief, and I caught Jacob's eye over her shoulder and gave him a smile. Edward greeted Jake in a friendly way and we went into the house.

Neither Edward nor I tried to ask either of them what had happened. After everything that they had been through, I think we both instinctively wanted to give them some space. But I couldn't help glancing at Nessie and Jacob during the afternoon. It was impossible to ignore the astounding change that had occurred since last time I had seen them, they both looked so _happy_.

It did take a while to get used to their new relationship. For the first couple of weeks I noticed that Nessie avoided spending much time at the big house. She was still at Charlie's house; she had asked to stay in town over the summer vacation, which seemed like a good idea if she wanted to see her school friends.

In some ways it was fortunate that Jake was working during the week, because she had plenty of free time to see them. I was glad that most days she did make plans with her friends, but I was also slightly worried that we saw so little of her ourselves. Of course the reason was so obvious that it should have occurred to me before Edward pointed it out. When I mentioned it to him, he just gave me an amused smile.

"Bella, she's too embarrassed to be here."

"_Why_?" I was sure that neither of us had said anything particularly insensitive about her romance, and then I understood; the mind reading!

"Oh no!"

Edward nodded when he saw my look of understanding.

"Jake's ok, he's really used to disciplining his thoughts for the pack, but Nessie is all over the place. She can't help letting her mind wander in a completely uncontrolled way, until she catches herself and then feels utterly mortified. It's not the most comfortable position I've ever been in either, but compared to some people she isn't too bad. Of course, I can't tell _her_ that, she'd never come to see us again if I mentioned the subject to her."

I felt guilty for laughing. "Poor Nessie, I think you're right not to say anything. She'll get used to it eventually."

The news of her new relationship quickly spread through the family. There were a number of phone conversations on the topic, and thankfully Nessie wasn't around to hear them all. Carlisle was pleased that things had worked out for her and Esme was thrilled. Alice was glad for Jasper's sake more than anything else!

"He was finding it hard to be around Nessie, because she wasn't very happy. I'm sure it will be _much_ easier for him now."

Rosalie was fairly resigned on the subject. "I suppose there was always a good chance she would throw herself away on the dog. At least he knows that she's too good for him."

Emmett's response came as a surprise to me, since he had been the one making all the stupid jokes about Nessie and Jacob. Apparently there was a world of difference between his feelings about the possibility of her having a boyfriend, and what he thought when it actually happened! It turned out that Emmett now had a strict moral code. And the only people who were subject to it were Nessie and Jake – well, mainly Jake!

I told Rosalie the news, knowing that she would pass it along to Emmett. I was a little surprised when he called back five minutes later.

"Hey, Bella. Rose just told me about Nessie and Jake." He sounded less cheerful than usual. At first I was worried that Rosalie might have been more upset than she'd let on.

"I hope she's not angry," I said quickly. "If she saw how happy Renesmee was, I know she wouldn't be."

"Um… Rose is fine." He seemed to be having some trouble getting to the point, so I waited patiently for him to continue. He finally said in a grim voice. "I was just wondering whether Edward has spoken to Jake yet."

"About what?" I couldn't figure out what Emmett was getting at.

He didn't bother trying to explain anything to me, it was clear that he didn't expect me to understand.

"Is Edward there?"

"Sure, he's upstairs, I'll get him."

I heard Edward pick up the phone in the study. I put down the receiver, but I could still hear Edward speaking upstairs.

"Hey Em…, yes they are…, no I haven't…" there was a pause, followed by Edward saying in irritation. "For God's sake Emmett, I'm not about to start threatening Jacob."

My eyes widened in alarm, what had gotten into Emmett? There was another long pause followed by Edward's exasperated voice.

"I'd probably know…, well how am I supposed to do that..?" Finally Edward snapped. "No, I am not going to _chaperone_ them!"

This was not the only time that Emmett voiced his concerns for Nessie. It started to get a little tiresome, having to listen to his opinions about how best to deal with Jake. I could only be thankful that there was a continent between Emmett and the happy couple.

The person whose reaction surprised me the most was Charlie. I would have assumed that he would be Emmett's greatest ally. After all, I could remember the way he had been when I had started dating Edward. Added to which, he knew that Jake was a part-time wolf. Surely he wouldn't want his darling granddaughter mixed up with someone like that?

I was wrong; Charlie was almost as pleased as Esme. I couldn't figure it out, until Sue said something that gave me some insight into my father's feelings. She and I were chatting in her kitchen whilst Edward, Seth and Charlie were watching TV, and Nessie was out with Jacob… unchaperoned!

"Your dad was pretty upset when he heard that Nessie was going to New Hampshire, he loves having her around. He didn't say anything, but I could see that he was really down about it. He's been so happy since Nessie got together with Jacob Black; he thinks that now she'll stay nearby."

I nodded thoughtfully, realising that Charlie was probably right. I hadn't spoken to Nessie about her plans, but I couldn't picture her leaving Jake now. I knew the rest of the family would be disappointed if she didn't move east. This was a shame, but I couldn't see it being a strong enough incentive to make her leave, if she wanted to stay in Washington.

It was strange, I was so happy that things were going well for Nessie, but a tiny part of me was sad to see her childhood slipping away. She was growing up fast and I realised that with every new phase, an old part of her would disappear. I could already see that the naïve girl, starting her first day of school, no longer really existed. Nessie was still positive and loving, but her character had become more serious and compassionate, as if she had found some hidden depths of maturity.

I liked what she had become, but still found it hard to adjust. Finally, I realised that nostalgia was an inescapable part of parenting, and decided to leave the past where it belonged. Nothing could change the fact that, in my eyes, she would always be the most beautiful daughter in the world.

* * *

**Author's notes:**

**Would you like to know what Emmett said to Edward...? :)**

**When I post the next chapter (which is the last of the story) I will let you know how you can find out... tee hee.**

**Just a quick thanks to everyone who has reviewed and added me to lists, thanks so much, it brightens my week. And to anyone that I can't PM, thank you for reviewing, I wish I could write and thank you personally.**

**I'll post the final chapter soon, have a wonderful weekend, Mad :)**


	29. Nessie, questions

**Chapter 29. **

**Nessie – questions**

Occasionally, even the Olympic Peninsula had days like this; when you looked out to the ocean and saw only a sunny, blue haze. It was mid-July and I was spending a Saturday with Jake on the cliffs at La Push. They were deserted; everyone else had headed straight for the beaches, to make the most of the blazing sunshine.

This was great for me, we were well out of view and I could practice my most audacious diving without an audience. Best of all, I could scale straight up the rock face without having to bother going round by the cliff path, which I could never do if anyone was watching.

Of course, I knew that my parents didn't like me to cliff dive. To be quite frank, they were a bit funny about it. Unfortunately for me, my father's turn-of-the-last-century morality would rear its ugly head from time to time. Years ago, when I first went diving, he said it was a bad idea and when I asked why, he told me it was _unladylike_! And then my mom added that it was dangerous! I couldn't take this random piece of parenting seriously, so I decided to ignore them and carried on diving anyway. I never had any trouble persuading Jacob to go with me.

I was standing on the cliff in my swimsuit, my skirt and shoes had been dumped on the grass by Jake's feet. I had been diving all afternoon, but Jake had given up a while earlier, preferring to lean back against the trunk of a pine and relax. He was only half watching me. I tried to get his attention.

"Watch this!"

I took a running leap over the edge, into the vast expanse of blue. I managed to get some real height this time and made several extra somersaults before neatly hitting the water. Resurfacing, I looked up and frowned, he hadn't watched! I swam quickly to the base of the cliff and started to climb back up the rock face.

It didn't take long, and when I popped my face over the top ledge, a pine cone bounced lightly off my head.

"Gotcha!" Jake seemed pleased with his shot.

I threw him a disdainful look and pulled myself onto the grass. Then, facing the sea, I prepared to dive again.

"Honey, why don't you come and sit down for a while?" Jake asked in a lazy voice.

I deliberated for a moment and then turned my back on the ocean. Finding a spot of grass by another tree, I sat down and leaned against the trunk. Jake instantly moved over to me and lay down on the dry grass, with the back of his head resting on my lap. He smiled up at me and then closed his eyes. We stayed like that for a long time, relaxing in the heat of the sun, with the pleasant aroma of pine in the air. The only sounds were of the waves, lapping against the cliffs, far below us.

I let my fingers drift across his face, sending him pictures of my favourite times with him. He seemed so still, I wondered if he had fallen asleep, until he said.

"That was good, show me that one again."

I smirked. "Sorry, I don't do requests."

He chuckled as I lifted my hands away and started combing his hair with my fingers. I suddenly had a thought.

"Jake, can I ask you something?"

His eyes were still closed as he answered. "Sure."

"You know imprinting?"

His eyes opened and he grinned. "Yeah..?"

I was thoughtful as I spoke. "Do you remember what you said to me when I was little, about how imprinting was when you wanted to look after one person more than anyone else, and you loved them the best?"

"Sure I do." He was watching my face with a wary expression, as if he thought I was trying to catch him out. "That was true."

I caught his eye and asked the question that had been circling my mind for some time.

"Well, when I grew up, why didn't you tell me that it meant something more to you… and that your feelings would never change?"

He sat up abruptly, wearing a serious expression. "What was I supposed to say, 'Oh, by the way Nessie, I've imprinted on you so you _have_ to be with me, it doesn't matter whether or not you feel the same way?'" He shook his head. "I didn't want you to feel under any obligation to me; you were supposed to have the choice."

I mulled over this idea for a moment, while Jacob moved to sit by me. There was one thing that I still didn't understand.

"If the girls have a choice, how come all the wolves have ended up with their imprintees?" I mean on average, La Push had more happy couples than anywhere else in the country!

He smiled and put his arm around my shoulders. "Each of us hoped that the girl we imprinted on would discover the connection herself. So far, it seems to have worked out that way for everyone."

I considered his words and nodded. "That's lucky."

"You have no idea!" He shook his head, smiling.

I slipped my arms around his waist and snuggled against him. Another thought came into my head. It was something that had been worrying me since we had got together.

"Jake. Do you think I should go away to college?"

I was surprised by the strength of his reply. "There is no way I'm touching that question!"

I lifted my head and gazed at him with wide eyes. "Why not?"

He smiled at me in disbelief. "Because I couldn't be impartial, and I want to be. I don't want you to miss out because of me."

I rested my head back on his chest and thought about what he meant; he wanted me to go to college, but he didn't want me to leave. That was nice; he felt the same way I did. I smiled and squeezed him tighter.

"I'm not sure I would be missing out, after all, I already have a degree." Well several actually, but who was counting?

"It's not the same as really attending college. I mean, look at how much you've changed from just one year at school. Don't you think you might enjoy it?"

I pictured myself at college, surrounded by other students, going to classes and making friends. I had to admit, it did seem appealing, but still…

"Ok, I might like it, but I don't think I could be that far away from you."

The bond between us was gaining strength all the time. By now, the thought of being the whole way across the country felt physically painful to me. He sighed and put both his arms around me.

"I know it would be tough." He said stoically. "But we'd still be together, just not all the time."

My lower lip started to tremble. "I don't want to leave."

He gently stroked my damp hair. "It wouldn't be forever, I would visit all the time. But you shouldn't waste your chances. Do you know what some of the kids in this town would give, to have your opportunities?"

Great, a guilt trip! It worked though; I had learned enough, in my one year at school, to know that he was right. I frowned and then I was struck by a sudden thought.

"Maybe I could transfer to the University of Washington?" I glanced up and caught the hopeful look on Jake's face, before he had time to hide it. He kept his voice casual as he answered.

"It's not a bad idea, but I think you should give yourself some time to think about it. You know your family will be disappointed, they've been looking forward to having you with them."

I wasn't fooled by his attempted lack of concern. The more I thought about this idea, the more it attractive it seemed. I decided not to say anything more for the moment; I would look into it when I got home.

"Ok, I'll give it some more thought."

Smiling, I lay back on the grass and pulled him down with me.

The afternoon wore on, slowly the shadows began to lengthen and a slight chill came into the air. I sat up and went to put on my skirt and shoes.

"We'd better be going; it must be nearly dinner time."

It only took the thought of food to make Jake stretch and spring to his feet. I smothered a grin and got ready to leave. When I turned back to him, I found Jacob watched me with such warmth in his eyes that I had to smile. He caught the look and instantly wanted to know the reason.

"What's so funny?" He said, looking suspicious.

I took a step in his direction and shook my head. "Nothing, I was just feeling happy." I halted in front of him and gazed up at his face. "I'm so glad that you love me."

Before I knew it, Jake had wrapped his strong arms around my waist and was squeezing me tightly. Giving a wide grin, he lifted me off my feet and planted an enthusiastic kiss on my lips.

"I'm glad too!"

He gently set me back on the ground and took hold of my hand. "Are you ready to go?"

"Sure." I nodded, and thought of one more thing to ask him. "Jake, are you happy?"

He threw me an incredulous look, but on seeing my serious expression, his eyes softened and he smiled. "Yes, I'm very, _very _happy."

I sighed with relief as he leaned down to kiss me, and held his hand securely as he led me back down the cliff path.

******* The end *******

* * *

**The sequel to this story is now being posted. It picks up the story six months down the line…**

**It is called **_**'The Tracker'**_** and can be found on my profile page.**

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

**(Sorry they're longer than usual, there's just a lot to say!)**

**Well that's the end of this story, but if anyone wants to know what Jake was thinking in Chapters 24 and 25 ('graduation' and 'the party'), then check out his two part companion story, which is called:**

_'__**Nessie and Jake, Imprinted'**_

**And if you want to find out exactly what Emmett said to Edward on the phone check out:**

_**'Emmett's bad day'**_

**(Both can be found on my profile page)**

**I'd just like to take this chance to thank everyone who had read this story and also to anyone who has taken the trouble to review it. It really has meant a **_**huge**_** amount to me that all the comments have been so nice :) **

**And a special thank you to the regular reviewers, who have given positive feedback time, and time, again. It's been great getting to know you better!**

**The final thank you has to go to Stephenie Meyer, for letting people like me shamelessly borrow her characters (except Marie, who no one liked anyway! ha ha).**

**Take care, Mad :) **


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